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betrayed

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#1
Teenager Dumped By Chat-Room Girlfriend

CYBERSPACE - Joey Passmore is alone. The 14-year-old Internet enthusiast recently lost his cyber-girlfriend and computer soulmate, LUV_U2, and he's not sure how to deal with the confusing new emotions that have begun to stir inside him.

"I don't understand," moped Joey. "I gave her my love, my devotion, and the IP's of some private FTP sites. "

Joey, 14, never met LUV_U2 in Real Life™. They met online almost two months ago, but were committed to each other after only a few short chat sessions over a two-week period.

"Something clicked right from the start," said Joey. "I admit, I found her choice of avatar sexually attractive, but there's more to her than just that. I would show up in the #lookN4love chatroom on Undernet, and we would share the time together, while we did homework, watched 'Mad About You' repeats, and played PopCap games over the Net."

"I thought we had something special," continued Joey. "I would send her e-cards, and links to special poems that were written for people like us. I even photoshopped our avatars together on a Martian landscape--way romantic. But then that one evening, she came into the IRC channel and was really quiet. I knew something was wrong."

Joey has been unable to talk about his break-up with family members and even considered selling his computer, and joining the school volleyball team, just to get away from the pain. At fourteen, break-ups are awkward to deal with. This was Joey's first romance and he believes his few friends at school would only laugh at him if he mentioned it to any of them.

"Those guys at school would only want to know how far I got, like did she send pictures of her tits, or something like that," said an angry Joey. "They wouldn't understand it was so much more than that."

His only source of closure has been a couple of Internet love forums that he has bookmarked on his web browser.

"I posted a message on a message board for heartbroken individuals who were recently dumped," said Joey, sobbing quietly, "but the only response was from some joker who asked how I knew it wasn't a man I was dating. How cruel can you get?"

"We were at that stage in our relationship where we were almost ready to exchange ICQ numbers, a huge leap in commitment," said Joey, wiping his nose. "Someday I had hoped we could swap actual snail-mail addresses, maybe even a photo, and then, who knows after that? I guess she got scared. I don't understand."

Joey isn't sure he can trust cyberwomen anymore, and is afraid to reveal his true self online to another. He may find escape by interacting only with girls he knows from school, church, and his neighbourhood. But that would mean meeting them and Joey isn't ready for social encounters yet.

"I may never be able to cyberdate again," cried Joey. "I've been hurt once, and now I may never be able to use that same alias. "

Joey almost deleted the chat logs he had with LUV_U2 in a fit of anger. "I was hurt, and I wanted to hurt. But now, those lines of text are the only thing I have left to cherish," said Joey. "The smilicons we shared were special, but now I may never smilicon again."

"but the only response was from some joker who asked how I knew it wasn't a man I was dating. How cruel can you get?"
HAH sounds like WTF.com! Funny story.. :thumbsup:
 
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#3
aaawwww... i'm sorry to hear that... well, got to get on with life then...cheers and have more pop corn.. :eek:
 

betrayed

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#4
zailin235 said:
aaawwww... i'm sorry to hear that... well, got to get on with life then...cheers and have more pop corn..
zailin235 said:
pop corn..
When I first read that I could have sworn it said porn...
 

shep

Local alcoholic
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#5
:cry: :popcorn: :banghead: lol ok p99 you da man,thats some funny shit dude
 
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Clutchtwice

_ потерял душу _
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#9
You know it always makes you wonder how people can get so attached without knowing what the other person looks like. Poor kid looks like you didn't graduate from masturbaiting to catalogs after all....oh well back to the drawing board... :p :)
 

Skitch0o0

Put it in MY butt...
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#10
Did every dumbass that read this not realize that it was from The Onion or some other such internet humor periodical? While I know that it was meant to poke fun at something that does happen in real life, the events are exaggerated to add humor... Oh wait, I think I missed the point. That poor 14-year-old kid. I feel for him. Heartbreak sucks :rolleyes:
 

ron

Buster of Asses
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#17
p99 said:
Teenager Dumped By Chat-Room Girlfriend

CYBERSPACE - Joey Passmore is alone. The 14-year-old Internet enthusiast recently lost his cyber-girlfriend and computer soulmate, LUV_U2, and he's not sure how to deal with the confusing new emotions that have begun to stir inside him.
Puberty.

p99 said:
"I don't understand," moped Joey. "I gave her my love, my devotion, and the IP's of some private FTP sites. "
Stupid.

p99 said:
Joey, 14, never met LUV_U2 in Real Life™. They met online almost two months ago, but were committed to each other after only a few short chat sessions over a two-week period.
Committed? WTF? Does this mean that they only "cybered" each other?

p99 said:
"Something clicked right from the start," said Joey. "I admit, I found her choice of avatar sexually attractive, but there's more to her than just that. I would show up in the #lookN4love chatroom on Undernet, and we would share the time together, while we did homework, watched 'Mad About You' repeats, and played PopCap games over the Net."
MWUHAHAHAHA! Pussy. He's all hot and bothered over an avatar.

p99 said:
"I thought we had something special," continued Joey. "I would send her e-cards, and links to special poems that were written for people like us. I even photoshopped our avatars together on a Martian landscape--way romantic. But then that one evening, she came into the IRC channel and was really quiet. I knew something was wrong."
Way romantic. Chump.

p99 said:
Joey has been unable to talk about his break-up with family members and even considered selling his computer, and joining the school volleyball team, just to get away from the pain. At fourteen, break-ups are awkward to deal with. This was Joey's first romance and he believes his few friends at school would only laugh at him if he mentioned it to any of them.
That's a good idea. Dumbasses like him need a hobby.

p99 said:
"Those guys at school would only want to know how far I got, like did she send pictures of her tits, or something like that," said an angry Joey. "They wouldn't understand it was so much more than that."
A slavering pack of pubescent lemmings. Get out of my gene pool!

p99 said:
His only source of closure has been a couple of Internet love forums that he has bookmarked on his web browser.
Closure?

p99 said:
"I posted a message on a message board for heartbroken individuals who were recently dumped," said Joey, sobbing quietly, "but the only response was from some joker who asked how I knew it wasn't a man I was dating. How cruel can you get?"
Gosh, you're right. Perfect strangers on Internet forums should definitely be sympathetic to your plight.

p99 said:
"We were at that stage in our relationship where we were almost ready to exchange ICQ numbers, a huge leap in commitment," said Joey, wiping his nose. "Someday I had hoped we could swap actual snail-mail addresses, maybe even a photo, and then, who knows after that? I guess she got scared. I don't understand."
What relationship? Did they have "e-coffee"" together and go see "e-movies?" Dumbass.

p99 said:
Joey isn't sure he can trust cyberwomen anymore, and is afraid to reveal his true self online to another. He may find escape by interacting only with girls he knows from school, church, and his neighbourhood. But that would mean meeting them and Joey isn't ready for social encounters yet.
He should have started with social encounters in the first place. Isn't sure he can trust cyberwomen? Of course not, twit.

p99 said:
"I may never be able to cyberdate again," cried Joey. "I've been hurt once, and now I may never be able to use that same alias. "
Progress.

p99 said:
Joey almost deleted the chat logs he had with LUV_U2 in a fit of anger. "I was hurt, and I wanted to hurt. But now, those lines of text are the only thing I have left to cherish," said Joey. "The smilicons we shared were special, but now I may never smilicon again."
MWUHAHAHAHAHA! Loser.