Acting Administrator D. Christopher Evans For the DEA here, AMA!

HadSexOnFriday

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I made this account about a year ago to let you all know I finally lost my virginity at 48 years old, specifically on a Friday. Unfortunately, I had to apprehend the lovely woman I was with because she pulled out a marijuana cigarette(ew). Without hesitating, I took appropriate action and detained the violent criminal with the help of three K9 units, fourteen DEA agents, and two local swat units. Thanks to me, she is serving 20 years behind bars -just one of my many good deeds. Enough about me and my service to the country, I want to hear from you! Ask me any dr:sick:g or DEA related questions! And remember, Marijuana kills.

SubstancesViolent Crimes CommittedPeople KilledBabies KilledPuppies Boiled Alive
Marijuana13,930,48918,057,40782,362,07754,373,818
Alcohol0000
Tobacco0000

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My Beautiful Face.
 
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Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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Marijuana ain’t killed me yet. I need to pack a bowl.

Ahhh, Tangelope. Yummy!
 
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Dark Fader

[]D [] []V[] []D
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This one time, I smoked some bud, and KILLED an entire box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
RIP.

Welcome Back.
 
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CoprophagousCop

Social Distancing Warrior
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I was going to edit your picture to add marijuana leaves and a joint, but then I realized you just took the picture from the DEA website.
:meh:
 
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BlastemSkyHigh

The Original Fuck You Bomb
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Hate to disillusion you 'bout those marijuana statistics

But only the weak die from from weed,
the strong will survive...
I have been smoking weed damn near every day since I was a juvenile delinquent,
now im an old delinquent who still smokes it every day,
To top it off I have a TON of my recipes for cannabis that I post at other forums for those that want.
 
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HadSexOnFriday

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Marijuana ain’t killed me yet. I need to pack a bowl.

Ahhh, Tangelope. Yummy!
If Marijuana hasn't killed you yet, I will ensure one of my DEA agents will for being a violent threat to society.
iu

Local police taking aim at violent criminal(you).
 
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HadSexOnFriday

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I believe that you could kill a few people while high. In the grocery store! :lol:
You could actually kill a lot. The statistics don't lie. On average one joint kills about fourteen people, including the user. If you are still alive after smoking a marijuana cigarettes, it is because the devil is using your body as a vessel to spread more hate and blasphemy.
 
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HadSexOnFriday

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I was going to edit your picture to add marijuana leaves and a joint, but then I realized you just took the picture from the DEA website.
:meh:
Sorry, here's a picture of me at your mother's residence. Just don't do any of that marijuana tomfoolery you kids to do these pictures.
mother.jpg
No, it's actually him!
Yes it's me, Acting Administrator D. Christopher Evans For the DEA. I know it's hard to believe but sometimes you really do meet your heroes.
Hate to disillusion you 'bout those marijuana statistics

But only the weak die from from weed,
the strong will survive...
I have been smoking weed damn near every day since I was a juvenile delinquent,
now im an old delinquent who still smokes it every day,
To top it off I have a TON of my recipes for cannabis that I post at other forums for those that want.
Actually everybody who does weed dies from it. 100% of people who have smoked weed and have not dropped dead instantly are just walking minions of Satan. For this reason, anyone we find with marijuana we are allowed to use lethal force against.
 
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Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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I’m having a sneezing fit after work. I need to grab another beer and smoke a bowl.

* I keep my bag of weed in a flip-top mason jar. When I pop the top, DAMN that shit is stinky.
 
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BeautifulSniper

Lovely and deadly
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My job is finally hiring more people to handle the increased workload. The hiring manager is never around, so I'm shocked.