WTF ... IS WTF!?
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After smokin' a few j's, this is what my cat told me...

Insanitee

I know where you live!
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1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact just fuck off and leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a flat tyre.

3. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you' re going to steal your neighbour' s buds, that' s the time to do it.

4. Sex is like air. It' s not important unless you aren't getting any.

5. Don' t be irreplaceable. If you can' t be replaced, you can' t be promoted.

6. Just because your paranoid, doesn't mean your not being watched.

7. Always remember you' re unique. Just like everyone else.

8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

9. If you think nobody cares whether you' re alive or dead, try missing a couple of car payments.

10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you' re a mile away and you have their shoes.

11. If at first you don' t succeed, try a different seed.

12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

14. If you tell the truth, you don' t have to remember anything.

15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windscreen.

16. Don' t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

17. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

20. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

21. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

22. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

23. Experience is something you don' t get until just after you need it.

24. And... Always respect the pussy!
 

Brazen

BAD, BOLD, BRAZEN
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Your cat talked to you???
 

dookie

OMGWTFBBQ!!1!
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a talking cat eh? i think you've been smoking too much
 
R

RedOctober

Guest
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dookie said:
a talking cat eh? i think you've been smoking too much
A cat speaks to only those human beings it wants to speak to.
Morons don't get it. ;)
 

dookie

OMGWTFBBQ!!1!
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#5
dude! a lot of talking animals are actually cartoons, and also perhaps muppets,
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
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#6
Your cat is very wise indeed.

However it does worry me that you heard it say this:
Kitty said:
16. Don' t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
 
R

RedOctober

Guest
#7
Well...

New kinky fashion line ;)

(c) Madonna/Esther

 
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Damn, Let me get some of that weed!!! One of my friends did shrooms and thought a rock was a turtle wit an English accent.
 

Insanitee

I know where you live!
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MaxPower said:
Your cat is very wise indeed.

However it does worry me that you heard it say this:

Dont worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
Hmmmm... yes. In a second conversation we discover the that the cat was talking about using the KS with your partner...

...why is my cat still talking to me...???

...Aaaagggg!!!
 

bombchu

b-o-n-e-r
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Dave666 said:
Damn, Let me get some of that weed!!! One of my friends did shrooms and thought a rock was a turtle wit an English accent.
Hahaha, my friend was trying shrooms while watching the news
And then he started talking to the anchorman.

"WTF ARE YOU DOING"
"What? We're having a converrrrrsation. Stop being so roooode."
 

dookie

OMGWTFBBQ!!1!
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#11
RedOctober said:
A cat speaks to only those human beings it wants to speak to.
Morons don't get it. ;)
okay now i'm thinking maybe it's the fucking Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland