After you take a dump, do you wipe standing up or sitting down?

I don't know how you guys shit and get it all over yourselves. I swear, kids nowadays. Do you all have dysentery or something? I proudly stand and wipe my ass. Back in my day...we used gubment 1000 grit sandpaper they called TP to wipe our virginal ass regions...I'm lucky I don't use a colostomy bag because I almost sanded my o-ring to nothingness over the years of the ass torture.

The trick to avoiding shitting yourself while wiping is to shit correctly so as to release the turds before standing up with one stuck in the exit chute.

I'll explain it potato-head style:

First, drop your trousers and undies or lift the skirt and peel off your thong so as to remove the clothing from the path the shit will exit your body.
Second, grab...


A true pillow sofa
I clean my ass with liquid soap with my left hand then splooshing water on it either from a toilet snake or a small bucket with my right, cleaning my ass thoroughly. Then once it smells soapy fresh, I wipe it with a clean towel standing up.
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Silly Face!
I have recently come over to the tp folded side. So many years of being a bunched up lost.

Oh, and I do the sit lean.

I don't understand how people can wipe with a wad of tp. Too messy and unorganized. I always fold my tp multiple times to ensure that I can wipe my ass without tearing through the paper and getting poo on my hand. Because in public they sometimes use cheap tp.

I also do the sit lean.


stomping through the forest like a tiny dinosaurus
How would a person Wipe standing up? That's just a pure Sociopath kind of person

Yeah I’m trying to picture the gymnastics that is involved so shit doesnt smear all over your buttcheeks when standing up. Are they doing some kind of half assed squat, lift on leg up on the toilet seat? Use a tp-stick?


Actually, I kind of stand up. I am very weird of about things like my hands being dirty, my privates being dirty, the idea of any poo or smells being left behind. So being the big guy I am (6'2 250lbs), I have found that I can do a better job if I come up off the toilet about a foot, bent almost all the way over not totally, grab and pull one cheek to make sure there are no obstruction or tight spots (i got a big booty), and then I wipe... and I wipe until the toilet paper is showing clean.

Sure it might be weird, but its not like shitting and self cleaning your butt hole is suppose to be a beautiful sight and visually favored process, and I like to make sure I am as CLEAN as one could be just having shit from a hole in your body and not heading to a shower right after. Actually, the moment I move into a house, I am getting a bidet. Even with sex, I always shower before sex (of course not all the time, sometimes moments are hot and we just jump right into it). I don't think its polite to indulge your spouse in the smells and process your body has endured in a day when you're trying to get your fuck on. I dont care if shes shower, I find that my lady somehow magically has a well kept body free of smells or unfavorable sites regardless of how long her day has


What if the toilet paper roll runs out mid wiping and you have to get off the toilet to fetch a new roll from under the sink or wherever they are kept. Do you stand up to get a new roll and then go back to the toilet and sit back down or do you awkwardly walk in a crouching position so as to not fully stand up?