WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

America doesn't deserve to be online.

Shurikane

Raging Hermaphrodite
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#1
When I say America, I really mean America, as in the landmass composed of:

-USA
-Canada
-Mexico
-Guatemala
-Brazil
-Peru
-Uruguay
-Argentina
-Panama
-Chile
-Barbados
-Bahamas
-Trinidad & Tobago
-Cuba
-Dominican Republic
-Haiti
-Honduras
-Every little shit I forgot and I couldn't care less...

Seriously. We have got to be the most piss-poor gaming community to ever exist in this dimension. We systematically destroy every online game to fall into our hands by invading it like a virus, going where we're not supposed to go and basically attempting to have their way no matter what happens and no matter if they're right or wrong.

Skeptical? Let me point out some (true) stories. Some are almost benign, while others are genuinely scary.



GUNZ
I get called a cheater, a hacker, a n00b, and I systematically get kicked out of every game I join. Why? Because I happen to be winning by a margin that's a bit too large according to the taste of the game master. I win a 15-kill game, the second best is 7 kills. I get kicked out. I come back and jokingly ask what the kick was for. The reply was a simple "JUST GO" and I get kicked again. I ain't a hacker, you pussies just suck at the game. Admit it and get on with your life (or death for that matter...)



GUNBOUND
Oh, man, what haven't we said about GunBound already. Arguably gifted with that possibly has to be the worst assemblage of shit ever seen on the face of the Internet. I don't think even the whole galaxy of Andromeda has this many stupid people. Let's run down a few of the common mistakes: People use their opponents as meatshields but forget that by doing this, vice versa applies. You get called a n00b if you miss your shot by even as much as one pixel. You are absolutely forbidden to gang up on a single opponent (your teammates will shoot you down if you do that), you are also absolutely forbidden to kill an opponent someone else has damaged (those people will usually scream "MY KILL MY KILL MY KILL" and set out to shoot you down if you take down the opponent anyway), you must also click the Ready button within 0.00001 seconds of your entry into the game or else you will be spammed then kicked. You will also be called a hacker if you hit your opponents too many times, after which you get kicked. People also lack basic common sense such as moving away when there's a bunch of people stuck together, and I've seen more than one person shoot himself down because he systematically forgot to take the wind into account (which rarely changes if ever.) Oh yeah, if you use Bigfoot, you're automatically a n00b no matter what you say or do and you'll remain a n00b forever because you dared to even hover your mouse over Bigfoot. Don't ask me why it's like this.



ALBATROSS18
Sorry, even PURELY COOPERATIVE games have people trying to make life hard for you. It's recently become extremely difficult for me to finish an 18-hole game simply because people almost always forfeit when they start making bad shots. I've never seen foursomes disintegrate faster in my life. If that happened in real golf, I'd paint the whole damn course red with their bodies.



COUNTERSTRIKE
Self-explanatory.



PHANTASY STAR ONLINE
Ouch! NOLing, FSODing, GSing, hacking, cheating - I think PSO has pretty much seen it all. This has got to be the only online game where I've actually witnessed a cheat that allows someone to be reduced to a level 5 NPC. Even Microsoft Windows doesn't have such blatant security holes.



LINEAGE II
Oh man, if it wasn't enough with the grinding, you had people griefing you, gratuitiously PKing you, stealing items, killstealing, or asking for a reward if they happened to run into something you had dropped behind. Died? Lost your shield in the process? Just too bad. If you want your shield back, you'll have to buy it back from the dude who found it and patiently sat there waiting for you to try to claim back what was yours. Oh yes, let's not forget what has to be the stupidest story ever: the admin banned an alliance leader from the game. When several alliance members learned that the admin lived in the same city as they did, they set out to go beat the guy up. No word on if the enveavor was successful. When I formulated my opposition to such a retarded project, I was called an unfaithful little bitch and promptly banned from the alliance.



Someone mentioned one day that I had suggested a test should be taken prior to entering the Internet. I didn't remember, so it's a good sign that it was a stupid idea in the first place. No test is needed because AMERICA FAILS IN ADVANCE! You wanna know why Pearl Harbor happened? Because the Japanese saw it coming and gave us a pre-emptive punishment before it was too late. Unfortunately, it was too late. That's right. It was too late before the Internet happened. Weak. Very weak.

We're not worthy of the games we're playing. We don't deserve the servers we're playing on. None of them. Starting now, I decreet that the continent of America be banned from the Internet.
 

Jung

???
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#3
Most of those games suck anyway. Also, if it weren't for Americans, Canadians wouldn't even have the internet.
 

GamerGuy87

I am sexy...Oh yea...
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#4
You should be thanking the Americans, namely Al Gore (LOL), because we invented the internet. So booya.
 
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#5
Yeah, most Americans are assholes, there are however nice people like G.W Bush and I have no idea why the hell does the majority of Americans hate him.He's the best president they had since Ronald Reagan.There are also great Americans on the net such as Maddox (who is actually Armenian, but resides in the US).
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#6
Pandur said:
Yeah, most Americans are assholes, there are however nice people like G.W Bush and I have no idea why the hell does the majority of Americans hate him.He's the best president they had since Ronald Reagan.There are also great Americans on the net such as Maddox (who is actually Armenian, but resides in the US).
Maddox is a has-been and Bush is one of the worst presidents ever.

And this whole post is rediculous. Put down your game controller and step out of the house. There is this entire world that exists out there other than just the line from your house to the nearest game retailer.
 

Jung

???
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#7
Pandur said:
Yeah, most Americans are assholes, there are however nice people like G.W Bush and I have no idea why the hell does the majority of Americans hate him.He's the best president they had since Ronald Reagan.There are also great Americans on the net such as Maddox (who is actually Armenian, but resides in the US).
You are obviously very far removed from reality. Bush is by far one of the worst American presidents to date, and has almost single handedly turned a better part of the world against us, shit on foreign policies and dug us deeper into national debt with his oil crusade.

Also, Maddox is an unfunny king of cliches. Only teenagers find that tripe funny, and Uber is right, he's been washed up for quite some time now.
 
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#8
junglizm said:
You are obviously very far removed from reality. Bush is by far one of the worst American presidents to date, and has almost single handedly turned a better part of the world against us, shit on foreign policies and dug us deeper into national debt with his oil crusade.

Also, Maddox is an unfunny king of cliches. Only teenagers find that tripe funny, and Uber is right, he's been washed up for quite some time now.
The oil crusade was necessary, history will judge him.A lot of people didn't like Reagan too, but in the end he won the Cold War:cool:

I've been reading Maddox's site for 3 years and I still find some of his stuff very interesting.
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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#9
heh... I would write a big response to this but I'm too lazy as im american... instead I'll just say the origional primary backbone for the internet was an american government network demilitarized for commercial use and without it the whole concept of 'online' would prolly of been set back like 20 years so yeah I think we belong online... yay capitolism
 

Jung

???
Premium
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#11
Pandur said:
The oil crusade was necessary, history will judge him.
And why exactly was it necessary? Greed? I could give a shit less about history's opinion of him, he has hurt our country more than any other recent president has.

I've been reading Maddox's site for 3 years and I still find some of his stuff very interesting.
To each his own I guess, but I find that his humor relies too heavily upon cliches and obvious jokes. I mean, sure, that type of humor was funny when I was 14, but it just bores me now.
 

Slacker

Postaholic
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#12
Shurikane said:
When I say America, I really mean America, as in the landmass composed of:

-USA
-Canada
-Mexico
-Guatemala
-Brazil
-Peru
-Uruguay
-Argentina
-Panama
-Chile
-Barbados
-Bahamas
-Trinidad & Tobago
-Cuba
-Dominican Republic
-Haiti
-Honduras
-Every little shit I forgot and I couldn't care less...
You know what gets me is that you clearly state that canadians shouldn't be allowed on the internet and according to your profile you are canadian. Have you ever thought you don't deserve to be on the internet either and that is why you are getting kicked?
 

Shurikane

Raging Hermaphrodite
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#13
It is a sacrifice I am willing to make. :)

ADDON: Actually, best reply in the whole damn bunch since you're the only person who clicked with the fact that when I said America, I didn't necessarily mean just USA despite a huge, blatant list.
 

Slacker

Postaholic
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#14
Shurikane said:
It is a sacrifice I am willing to make. :)
Well you're contributing to the bullshit on the internet too, so you shouldn't be complaining. Get used to it because it ain't going to get any better. The best you can do is to do nothing at all....
 

Shurikane

Raging Hermaphrodite
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#15
Technically, if I followed your advice, then the existence of WTF.com itself is moot.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#16
Shurikane said:
Technically, if I followed your advice, then the existence of WTF.com itself is moot.
no.
you are stating your personal belief and choice that you shouldn't be on the internet.. but i think that i should be.
i'm sure a lot of people would echo both of us..
(they saying i meaning themselves..)
and then you would be gone, and wtf would carry on.. with us and without you.. ;)
 

Janglenut

Particinator
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junglizm said:
And why exactly was it necessary? Greed? I could give a shit less about history's opinion of him, he has hurt our country more than any other recent president has.

Read the actual stats before you go into a speal about Bush being a dolt.

He was handed an economy that was in a great decline from the prior administrations stupidity. The prior administration had piss-poor foreign policy, maybe that led into half of the world thinking how we do? But, of course. Blame the whole thing on Bush because he was the president when 9-11 happened. Bush has put up with more shit than any president has since Vietnam.



[Reagon was a damn good president.]
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#18
Janglenut said:
Read the actual stats before you go into a speal about Bush being a dolt.

He was handed an economy that was in a great decline from the prior administrations stupidity. The prior administration had piss-poor foreign policy, maybe that led into half of the world thinking how we do? But, of course. Blame the whole thing on Bush because he was the president when 9-11 happened. Bush has put up with more shit than any president has since Vietnam.



[Reagon was a damn good president.]
bush inherited a surplus, created the largest deficit ever.
bush's approval rating is the second lowest of all post-war presidents, beaten by nixon.
reagon (sic) consulted astrologers on policy choices.

best post war president = carter. :thumbsup:
 

skully

GO BEARS!!!!
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void said:
bush inherited a surplus, created the largest deficit ever.
bush's approval rating is the second lowest of all post-war presidents, beaten by nixon.
reagon (sic) consulted astrologers on policy choices.

best post war president = carter. :thumbsup:
vince carter?:)
i say make michael jordan president........everyone will love him except for those new york bastards.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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skullmaster said:
vince carter?:)
i say make michael jordan president........everyone will love him except for those new york bastards.
vote oprah '08

all minority votes covered.. :thumbsup:

ted nugent for VP.. he can be secretary of defense too..