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An Open Letter to My Secret Admirer

BadEvilWrong

I'd melt the world to stop with you.
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#1
Dear Secret Admirer (or Fellow Prankster, however the case may be),

I have just come home from the hospital today after a series of advanced testing, and I'm afraid I have bad news.

For two days, a team of physicians have been scrambling to find out what has been ailing me for the past two days, and they've finally found what is wrong. I am, quite literally, dying from curiosity.

And it's all your fault.

However, I am more than willing to forgive you. In fact, consider it done. It's close to Christmas, after all. Your slate has been wiped clean, and I've forgotten that there was any blame to begin with.

Unfortunately, this does not change the fact that I have about three days to live. Yes, that's right. Three days. However, there is a cure. Only you can cure my curiosity. So please, for the love of GOD*, step forward, and identify yourself. You may do this via Skype (I have the same username and all), PM, or just publicly say so in this thread. I don't care how it's done, just so long as I bloody well know who you are. I don't even care what your reasons are! A prank? Okay, you got me. I don't have to die over it. Were you merely viewing my profile, just out of morbid curiosity and accidently hit the sending link? That's okay, I believe you. Just say so! Do you actually like anything I post for whatever reason? Fine by me. We'll do lunch or something. Did I leave something out? I'll listen/read with open ears/eyes.

But please please PLEASE step forward. My time is ticking away, and I dun wanna die. :cry:

PS: Do so step forward ASAP, pwwwweeeaaaaase?

*Footnote: God does not exist. My apologies for any and all confusion.
 

leehype

drunk with a jeep problem
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#3
I am awair of your secrit admirer, but he is also having health problems and cannot tell you his username. If you want I can tell some lawyers and they can try to arrest him for manslater after 2 weeks.:thumbsup:
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#4
Is it just me or is BadEvilWrong just BEGGING for more of us to send him the Cupid Smurf Creep-o-gram?
 

skully

GO BEARS!!!!
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#5
hmm.....something seems not right (wrong) here.

/me ponders


/me sends badevil a idiotsmurf
 

BadEvilWrong

I'd melt the world to stop with you.
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#6
Update: I now have 4 more smurfs. Bitches.

Edit: 6 more. May as well start a fucking collection. Call Guiness, I'll break the record by Monday.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#7
gehtfuct said:
They call it, Prozac. Try some....
Didnt you know that since I was prescribed that, the national supply has been drastically low?

I have like, seven private admirers I have no idea who they are. Dont really care either.
 
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#8
damn .. looks like others had the same idea I did .... you painted yourself into a corner with this thread, BEW
 
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#9
I have received three Smurfs and made no attempts to guess on any of them.
 

BadEvilWrong

I'd melt the world to stop with you.
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#10
Oh hell. I have another one. Looks like my ass is going to die sometime tomorrow. Too bad this a thread like this wouldn't have worked with rep.

Edit: 8 and counting. :(
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#11
i had one i think.. i forget.. i assumed it was either countrygirl or littleone.. or maybe both of them at once :D
 

skully

GO BEARS!!!!
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#12
I got one today but i think its BEW.......he sends me horny pm's :oddgrin:
 

BadEvilWrong

I'd melt the world to stop with you.
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#13
^Aha! Could this be the original sender?
 
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#14
send creepy smurfs back, eventually they will match and you can track down your original admirer. though, it may take you a week to finish matching up with all the tards who send them after this thread was made.
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#15
void said:
i had one i think.. i forget.. i assumed it was either countrygirl or littleone.. or maybe both of them at once :D
it was me you bastard *hits void*

*hihi* ok..maybe I don't remember if I sent you one..but I have about..15.. :happysad: and I find it annoying..bc I'm a really really curious person.. :( And i've guessed 4-5 of them..2 of them being boys and 3girls.. :happysad:
 
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#17
TheLampIncident said:
I have received three Smurfs and made no attempts to guess on any of them.
Ahh, Lampy, acting cool, are we?
 

littleone

the short crazy one
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#20
void said:
i had one i think.. i forget.. i assumed it was either countrygirl or littleone.. or maybe both of them at once :D
It was me... I was trying to figure out who it was that sent me one. I figured I would send some to random people that actually adressed me once or twice in a post. So, I've sent a few random ones, trying to figure out who sent me one...Still haven't found the curprit (sp?).

Stardust said:
*hihi* ok..maybe I don't remember if I sent you one..but I have about..15.. and I find it annoying..bc I'm a really really curious person.. And i've guessed 4-5 of them..2 of them being boys and 3girls..
Yes, I was one of those girls. I'm found out so easily! And yet, I can't find mine. Damn-it all.