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Any advice??

G

gummi_

Tenderony
#1
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#1
Alrighty then ...

Ive been with a girl named Grace for over a month now. Recently she had to move in with her mum's boyfriend john, because her mum did. Grace hates john, and they have moved in with him previously but there were problems and they split.

Now, my problem slots in here. Now that she's living with john, they have to go by 'his rules'. 'His rules' say she cant have a boyfriend. I don't understand this, because ive met john a few times, nothing was said, and ive also met her mum quite a bit ... she's driven me home once, bought me macca's ... normal stuff.

Ive asked if either her mum or john have something against me personally... nope. It just seems that what he says go's. I really want to be with her, i cant stand the thought of it not being that way... but i dont know what i can do??

All ive got at the moment is wait it out ... Grace said she'll try to talk to her mum about it, but the first attempt didnt work out, so i don't have very high hopes. She said if we cant be together she'd like to stay friends, but i honestly don't know if i could revert back to that - never being able to hold her close and be the way it used to. Please help??

Oh and, im 16 in march, she's 16 now but 17 later this year.

Sorry for the post being kinda long...
 
C

Cash21

Clitpickle
#2
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#2
It wasn't long... The best thing to do is to walk/drive over to her house and ask to have a word with John in private. (Make sure to bring a roll of quarters with you.) Place the roll in your punching fist and give him your best swing right across the jaw. Then say to him, "Listen pal. You try to fuck this up and I won't be so nice next time, asshole." (make sure he's conscious when you tell him) That should set him straight.

Seriously though, when you get there do ask to talk to him in private and tell him you really like what's her face and if he won't accept you as a boyfriend that you hope to continue being good friends with her. Regardless, "I will respect your decision." Tell him to sleep on it. Then just leave. I personally think the dude seems like a goober, however, you shouldn't be seeing this girl unless you have the initiative to talk things out with her parents.

Hope that helps
 
G

gummi_

Tenderony
#3
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#3
John's going over to New Zealand for a couple of months for work soon ... maybe even tomorrow? i'm not exactly sure ... but if nothing happens for a bit i'll probably try and go talk to her mum about it. i don't give a stuff what john thinks, neither does Grace, but she doesn't want to go behind her mums back over it and i don't want to make her.

and i'm hmm ... 'closer' ?? to Grace's mum ... i've talked to her a bit, met her more times, so i'd probably have a better chance that way ... although john does seem to wear the pants in the relationship from what i've heard.

thanks for your advice :)
 
C

Cash21

Clitpickle
#4
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#4
Well, im my opinion you'de be better off talking to John since he is the one who sets the rules. Seems to me like her mom is...i guess you could say complying with John so your best bet would be to go directly to him. He would probably appreciate it which would make a world of difference.
 
E

Easty

Click click boom
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#5
dont be sorry about the length of the post. if it gets your point across, who gives a shit how long it is.

anyway, you should be straight up, whats-the-deal with them. tell them how to feel, hopefully there'll be some sense of compassion. if that doesnt work out have her live with you. its a stretch, but just how desperate are you anyway?
 
1

10 stars

Enraged before the storm
#6
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#6
thats just a shitty situation for you bro...
im 16 and i could have a girl live with me if needed.
i hope everything works out for you since i cant give any advice dude.
 
gehtfuct

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
#7
9,301
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#7
Wow,you almost sound like you're kinda.....normal.
That kind of trait is pretty rare around here. You seem to be level headed for your age,and that's a good thing. Lets just hope that it will be something that you'll hold onto for a long time to come. As far as your girl and the "John" thing,I really don't have an answer for you. Other than,you're smart enough to know that you've got the rest of your life to be blinded by the "L" word. Love. AHHH! la la la la! *covering ears* Anyhoo..If you're not blowing smoke up my ass,you'll already know that it's best to be patient. Give it some time,it'll come to you. The prize for patience is better than becoming a patient.
 
H

Hater808

The hate still Shapes me
#8
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#8
See if its alright with her to date you in secert. Secert sex is the best sex. Its always interesting and great stories stem from it. :thumbsup:
 
G

gummi_

Tenderony
#9
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#9
She doesnt want to go behind her mums back, because she'd feel guilty, and im not gonna try and make her.

I wouldnt be able to get her to move in here ... i dont think id want to either :) my home isnt the happiest atm, and seeing as she's just moved in with John i doubt they'd let her move out somewhere else, let alone with a guy she likes.

I asked her if it would be alright for me to talk to her mum and John ... but she asked me not to because it will just create more problems for her at home, which i dont wanna do ... looks like the waiting game :(

On the plus side ... she's coming with me to my Aunties birthday bbq thing on Sunday ... yay! Hopefully get to take a walk and talk some stuff over.

btw... im not after her for the sex, couldnt really care less about that, i just wanna be with her

thanks for all your replies!
 
Bitch

Bitch

Evil Fluffy says: I PEE IN YOUR SHOES!
Premium
#10
2,755
934
357
#10
gummi_ said:
Alrighty then ...

Ive been with a girl named Grace for over a month now. Recently she had to move in with her mum's boyfriend john, because her mum did. Grace hates john, and they have moved in with him previously but there were problems and they split.

Now, my problem slots in here. Now that she's living with john, they have to go by 'his rules'. 'His rules' say she cant have a boyfriend. I don't understand this, because ive met john a few times, nothing was said, and ive also met her mum quite a bit ... she's driven me home once, bought me macca's ... normal stuff.

Ive asked if either her mum or john have something against me personally... nope. It just seems that what he says go's. I really want to be with her, i cant stand the thought of it not being that way... but i dont know what i can do??

All ive got at the moment is wait it out ... Grace said she'll try to talk to her mum about it, but the first attempt didnt work out, so i don't have very high hopes. She said if we cant be together she'd like to stay friends, but i honestly don't know if i could revert back to that - never being able to hold her close and be the way it used to. Please help??

Oh and, im 16 in march, she's 16 now but 17 later this year.

Sorry for the post being kinda long...
Click to expand...
First of all, this isn't long, but I'm gathering you've been told that lately ;). Second, this is a problem with Grace's mother more than anything.

Rule of thumb when it comes to parents dating is that the parent of the child is the one giving the rules...not the the step parent. Grace is 16? Generally at teenage or older, only the actual parents can decide what their own child can and cannot do. The step-father sounds controlling and is trying too hard to be Grace's father. Even if this step-guy was to marry Grace's mother, he is still the step-father and not the disciplinarian of Grace. Only Grace's mother has the right to do that. If Grace's mother is letting this guy run all over her and tell her what to do, that is called being a door-matt. She sounds really nice and fair to you and your relationship to her daughter, but she needs to take control of her own family. Step-father's are great people but there are limits to what control they have on the new family. He has a right to his own kids. If he were to have some of his own, then Grace's mother can only be a friend to them and not the disciplinarian. It's not her right, only the father's.

My mother got remarried. Things are working out great. My step-father will occasionally talk to me about how he feels about my arguing with my mother, but he stays out of the discussion/arguments while they are going on. He'll even leave the room cause it's not his place to be involved. He loves me and my mother. And because he doesn't over step his boundaries, I respect him and his role in my life. That's what your Grace's step-father needs to do. Let her mother make the rules for Grace and step back when those rules are applied.
 
G

gummi_

Tenderony
#11
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#11
I wish it worked like that for me :(

Basically he says "my house, my rules". So while she lives there, thats how it is ... Grace and her sisters all say their mum is a different person around him, and they don't particularly like the new person :(

I'm still waiting for Sunday to come along ... i wanna go for a walk and talk to her on our own about some stuff, because im starting to miss her really bad. She's helped me through a really bad time recently and all thats done is make me think about the situation with her more, because i don't understand it!

I'm just going to see if there's really no compromise or anything with her mum and john... and i know it sounds stupid but at the back of my mind is she might just not want to be with me, so im going to ask her about that ... if she doesn't its fine i just wanna know :) I dunno really ... i just wanna talk to her face-to-face about some stuff i suppose.
 
dustinzgirl

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
#13
26,094
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#13
gummi_ said:
John's going over to New Zealand for a couple of months for work soon ... maybe even tomorrow? i'm not exactly sure ... but if nothing happens for a bit i'll probably try and go talk to her mum about it. i don't give a stuff what john thinks, neither does Grace, but she doesn't want to go behind her mums back over it and i don't want to make her.

and i'm hmm ... 'closer' ?? to Grace's mum ... i've talked to her a bit, met her more times, so i'd probably have a better chance that way ... although john does seem to wear the pants in the relationship from what i've heard.

thanks for your advice :)
Click to expand...
Dating behind johns back will cause more problems for Grace and her mum. Bide your time kiddo, she will be 18 soon.
 
G

gummi_

Tenderony
#14
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#14
Im not saying go behind John's back ... even though i would if her mum was ok with the whole thing :p

But yea ... if i have to wait till she's 18 i will, im just really hoping it doesnt have to be that long ... i really really miss her :( and everytime we're on our own somewhere we usually end up making out or just being close... so its kind of confusing me, because she said she wanted to just be friends for the moment.

I don't know anymore ... i should have talked to her about it today while she was over, but i kinda suck at talking about 'deeper' stuff. By the end of the week!
 
T

The_Observer

Random Man
#15
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#15
gummi_ said:
Alrighty then ...

Ive been with a girl named Grace for over a month now. Recently she had to move in with her mum's boyfriend john, because her mum did. Grace hates john, and they have moved in with him previously but there were problems and they split.

Now, my problem slots in here. Now that she's living with john, they have to go by 'his rules'. 'His rules' say she cant have a boyfriend. I don't understand this, because ive met john a few times, nothing was said, and ive also met her mum quite a bit ... she's driven me home once, bought me macca's ... normal stuff.

Ive asked if either her mum or john have something against me personally... nope. It just seems that what he says go's. I really want to be with her, i cant stand the thought of it not being that way... but i dont know what i can do??

All ive got at the moment is wait it out ... Grace said she'll try to talk to her mum about it, but the first attempt didnt work out, so i don't have very high hopes. She said if we cant be together she'd like to stay friends, but i honestly don't know if i could revert back to that - never being able to hold her close and be the way it used to. Please help??

how bout dont call urself her boyfriend but her fuck pal or sumthing ;)
Click to expand...
 
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