WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, is your new home.



Banned - What an Asshat!
The sky opened with a sudden and distasteful flare of puce and various green hues. They were coming, Arriah knew. They were coming fast.

The gaseous emissions dispersed, and the common red sky of her home planet blinked behind the massive bestial ship, a tumor of black against an otherwise empty sky.

Her kin were screaming, running, falling.

Arriah did none of these, but she wanted too. It was a short rope that she held her sanity with, and the only consolation she had on the farming planet was her dreams. Dreams she had since as long as she could
remember, each the same in striking detail. And now those dreams had come to fruition.

Someone, a family member, possibly her mother or aunt, tried to force her away from the porch.

"We have to go to the cellar!"

Arriah paid the holler no mind, no mind at all. She had always been an obedient girl, but now she pushed the woman away without a look.

"Nicht, nicht." Old tongue. No, no. Arriah was one of few who understood the old tongues, the old ways, the intricacies of science and math. Even more so than her tutor, whom some proclaimed was truly a wizard.

His voice came to her now, a ghost of the old ways. "We fear what we do not understand. Watch, listen, understand, and fear not child."

Arriah watched.

The black ship opened, the maw of a great and impenetrable beast, and from this maw came unadulterated darkness.

Once the darkness had set fear upon her heart, but this was different. It warmed her, caressed her fair skin and laid kisses upon her petulant lips.
Arriah was home, more so than she had ever been.

Her eyes, blue as the deepest of waters, opened into light, and she cried out.

There was nothing. There was no villa, no person, nor child nor beast. Once, Arriah and her brother, Hermos, had taken it upon themselves to stomp upon an ant hill. If her home had been that ant hill, the results would have been much the same. Around her was flatness, as if a great boot had laid its sole upon the earth, and rendered each building into the ground.

Blood flowed before her, around her, and behind her.

Arriah choked back the bile, and looked to the red sky.

There was nothing.

There should have been a ship, an army, a great beast of the universal skies; the evil bane of the cosmos.

The beast did not come, and Arriah was alone with the sting of vomit in her mouth and the acrid smell of death upon her face.

The Wizard then, or scientist, depending on the point of view. He wrapped his withered arms around her, and she fell into them.

The Wizard buried his face into her hair, soft and lustrous and as blue as her eyes.

"They came, again, and we will begin again." His voice was a bare scratch, more than a whisper but less than usual.

"I don’t know what that means."

"You will." The Wizard took her hand then, and Arriah followed without pulling against the firm but weathered grip.

They walked, the older and younger, stepping lightly between the array of death and decay. Arriah shooed away a vulture here and there, and one who looked at her with an eyeball in its sharp beak.

Time was meaningless. As was hunger, or other bodily functions. They could have walked no longer than five minutes or equally more than five days, and it mattered not.

When the Wizard stopped, Arriah stopped with him. They had reached the Plains of Azzaruth, and this was a holy place. It had been a burial ground, centuries upon centuries past, a burial ground of the old ways. Now, it was marked only by a cyclic set of stones. The stones were columns set upon by flat, round rocks. Arriah thought they would fall over if the wind tipped them just right, but the Stones of Azzaruth had stood against the idea of architecture longer than her people could remember.


Banned - What an Asshat!
The Stones of Azzaruth

It was then, her skin crawling and her mind empty, that Arriah saw the faces in the stones. This was Azzaruth, she knew without question and without fear, this was the god of the old ways.

The face in the stone was much like the Wizards.

The Wizard entered the stone, walking into it as if it were nothing more than gray air. His arm came out, and beckoned her to follow, the skin of him and robe dulled to match the gray of the stones.

Arriah understood, as much by his teachings as by her own gut, that Wizard could only lead her to this place. It was her choice to follow, but what choice would that be? All that she knew was gone, flattened by the great sole of some enormous stomping beast. Behind her, lay Death. Before her, lay Fear. And then there was Arriah, in the middle of Chaos.

Chaos, as it were, is not an entirely bad place to be. She could survive very well between Fear and Death.

Arriah did not want to survive, she wanted to live.

Stepping into the stone was not as she thought. There was no sensation, no odd feeling nor tremor in her body. She simply walked into air, empty and gray and of medium temperature.

Arriah fell. There was no floor beneath her, and no sky above her, only the fall. The wind screamed in her ears and the pull of gravity increased. Arriah gained speed with her fall, and with that she gained fear. It was no longer the wind screaming, she screamed also.

The landing was not the smash of earthbound objects, her stomach did not erupt into her mouth and her brains did not explode from her skull. In fact, Arriah thought almost dejectedly, there was little that did occur, other than her own fear. She felt that was an important lesson in itself, but would examine the philosophy of it later.

The jungle around her beat with its own life, drums of nature and cries of animals she could not recognize. A stream flowed beside her, its water so clear that she could see the tropical fish in all their rainbow glory speaking with one another.

That was an odd thought, but even odder she understood their language. It was the same with the birds and beasts and even the beetles trying to scuttle away from her shoeless feet.

Shoeless? Arriah had been dressed fully before she entered the stone.

Her naked body reflected in the stream, and she shivered with the thought of her own sin, to be exposed in such a manner. Arriah missed her shoufa, the long, single strip of cloth that covered her from head to feet, common dress for unmarried girls.

The voice came for her, and she cowered against its might.

"Arriah, daughter of Azzaruth, why do you fear?"

"I am Alone. Death trails me, and Fear leads me."

"Ah," the voice said, as if it had not thought of this, "Where is the Wizard then, your mentor?"

"He has left me, as my kin have, as my clothing and my sanity." Arriah hid herself behind the bushes, and buried her face into the dirt.

"Why do you hide?"

"Because I am Fear. I want my mother, and my brother, and my father. I want our home and pan-a-cakes." She sobbed, her face pressed against the earth, Arriah pounded her fist into it. "Because I do not understand, and I do not belong here. I have never seen animals that talk, and there is none to guide me."

"You will have to conquer that fear daughter, and soon. For another beast comes for you. The first of your trials you have failed, and miserably so. Wizard had failed none of his trials. You have two more Trials, and both must be passed."

"Or what, death? I fear not death nor torture. I refuse to play your game. I WANT my family back!"

"Death would be an absolution, and there is no absolution for failure."

The jungle became silent then, as if each creature was feeling the wrath Arriah heard in the voice, the wrath of a being that does not abide weakness nor insubordination, and Arriah had already shown both.