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Ash

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#1
Ash

The sky drew inward, upon itself,
Glowing red and gold with fire
Blackness streaked across it,
Plumes of tear shaped ash
Wait,
Because there was no light and no faith.
Scream,
But the voice fell away without reaching ears.
Here,
There was no restraint, no emotion, no desire
Then there is the end,
a pillow covered with a pink sash
Smothered hard against the ruddy wet face.
If there had been sound,
It dies away in fears
Untraceable and unwarranted
Grotesque smears
Bumps across the skin
of life’s fevered rash
All tied tightly with white pearls and pink lace.
 
656
131
107
#3
Great word and imagery experimentation, but lack of connection and meaning. Sort it out and you have a great (and ironic) apocolypse poem.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#4
Connection, meaning and pointedness are lost in this poem. Its just random bullshit, which apparently I am pretty good at :thumbsup: