WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Astrology is bullshit

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#1
Didn't know where else to put this, so i'm putting it here...


Horoscope from Astrology.com:
Be careful what information you release. Legitimate misunderstanding is inconvenient at best. Irreverence or ridicule will only weigh you down. If you can't seclude yourself, at least you can remain silent.

Horoscope from mytelus.net:
Thursday, April 01
Take some time to break out of your normal routine, dear Capricorn, and see what is going on in the world around you. It could be that you are so focused and so driven on a specific goal that you are failing to take into account the rest of the world. You may not even be aware that these outside energies have a huge effect on what you are doing in your own little compartment.


Ok... does anybody else notice a difference between these two? how many capricorns can there be... i'll bet every site has a different horoscope for me... thanks, guys... but which one is real? The first one tells me to shut the hell up and remain silent... maybe lock myself in a little room somewhere, the second one tells me to see what is going on in this goddamn world of ours. I have news for them... I don't give a fuck what is going on in this world... and what the hell does it mean by "outside energies"? What outside energies affect what i do? And no, i'm not focused and driven on any goal... i have no goals. Morons think they can tell me what my future has in store? well, i make my own future... how can the position of a shitty little group of stars somewhere millions of miles above the earth affect my life? "Oh, jupiter passed through capricorn today... that means you're gonna become the father of a baby with 5 heads." I think Wierd Al sums it up quite nicely with his horoscope song...

Capricorn
The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again.

That sounds more like me than all the other bullshit horoscopes out there... i'm a dull and boring person, not an exciting and wonderful person... and maybe i'll take his advice about locking my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again.
 

Skorch

Destroyer of worlds
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#2
I think it was best put in the words of Chris Rock, "Here's a horoscope for everybody:
Aquarius; You're gonna die
Capricorn; You're gonna die
Gemini; You're gonna die twice
Leo; You're gonna die
Scorpio; You're gonna die fuckin..."
 

GIR

Flame Bait
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#3
yeah u're right!

screw astrology! its just some bs that ppl write and make it seem like they know something.. hell I could do those god forsaken fortunes! :mad:
 

DonGringo

Flame Bait
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#5
My Horoscope

Today I read my horoscope in my college newspaper that said
"Sit on a couch and relax".

WTF IS THAT!!!! Retarded horoscope people, how can they tell what we'll do by gas and rocks floating around in Space? :gun:
 
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#11
DonGringo said:
Today I read my horoscope in my college newspaper that said
"Sit on a couch and relax".

yeah check out mine: "Don't be to hard with yourself today! Relax and put your feet up.. Maybe you should spend your day with your partner."

i mean.. honestly.. WTF?! :mfinger: i'm at my fucking office working my ass of! the only "relaxing part" i get, are the 20 minutes in the morning to read the posts on wtf.com...

..astrology is fucked.. and only for dicks, which don't have control of their life..
 

GottaHurt

Sexual Deviant
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#14
If the dude gets this distraught over the horoscope section, I can imagine he goes ballistic over Dilbert...
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
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#15
GottaHurt said:
If the dude gets this distraught over the horoscope section, I can imagine he goes ballistic over Dilbert...
he prob blow up the tv if he seen the tv show
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
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#19
check it out

Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:


Name: Flame Wolf
Secret Identity: Lowell Bishop
Special Power: Bionic Gaze
Transportation: Quantum Rocket
Weapon: Quantum Carbine
Costume: Golden Coveralls
Sidekick: the Professor
Nemesis: Tim the Puzzler
Tragic Flaw: Laziness
Favorite Food: Raspberries
 
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#20
Your Superhero Identity For Today Is:


Name: Red Brother
Secret Identity: fuck you
Special Power: Bionic Fart
Transportation: Magnetic Tricycle
Weapon: Graviton Bolt
Costume: Stainless Steel Coveralls
Sidekick: Dumbo
Nemesis: Nancy the Ripper
Tragic Flaw: Fear of short people
Favorite Food: Sardines

:confused: