WTF ... IS WTF!?
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ATTN: Retards: GL,HF! TL;DR version

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Descent

Hella Constipated
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#1
Wondering what a Vasudan is?







No matter how much he loved Terrans, he couldn't understand why he was falling for one himself...Let alone
vice versa.

"Hey. Want to come back to my quarters?" She said, in a cute, high pitched voice.

Ko'Yaan popped a boner, well, if you could call it a boner. More like a fleshy tounge-like growth that popped out from his torso.

He sucked it back in, and he replied in a very lusty "Yes..."

Two minutes later, back in her quarters, she started undressing.

It was at this point his Vasudan love-maker grew to a massive eight inches, and he really wanted a sucking. Hell, an ass bang or two would have been great.

He took off his combat suit, and picked her up by the head with one hand.

He lay down on the bed and put her on his slimy, sweet smelling wanker.

"OHHH!" She screamed. She had never felt so pleasured in her life.

"Your penis...is amazing. It's so wet and juicy..."

"Penis?" Ko'Yaan said in a very curious tone.

"Oh, that's what us Terrans call your little tweeter pleaser."

"Ahhh, I see."

It was at this point his cum spurted out everywhere, blasting her bed, her tits, and her ass. More importantly, her twat was filled fully.


"Are you a Mikado world champion?" She yelped.

"Why yes. Have you ever heard of the amazing Johnny Kuntz?" He responded.

"That's right! He was killed back in 2005 by a mob of angry moderators. Who
was the one who killed him again...?"

"He went by the alias BRiT. Ironically, he was a Pollock."

"Much like Descent, the writer of this story. Well, part Pollock..."

"Shhhh! You're not supposed to break the fourth wall!"

"Oh, I'm so sorry. Let's carry on."

"No, I'm tired. Do you have a virtual mikado machine in your pocket?"

"Sorry. I wish I did."

"Hey, I've got an idea! Let's go read up on Rek1!"

"Rgr, lol!"

"I didn't know Vasudans spoke AOLer, let alone know what an AOLer is..."

"I don't. MaxPower has been spamming my inbox lately. You know, with stuff
like, "Hey cutie! Want to have wild alien buttseckz?! I R SO 1337."

"I have some of the spam right here!"

He took out his PDA, and connected to the
interwebnetssuperinformationdirtroad. He went to WTF.COM, and saw twenty new PM's from him, along with 15,000 new rep points that all had a winky face and an AIM dick for the comment.

"Here's one. What the fuck?! UGH!"

An MSPainted pictured of MaxPower Goatseing the camera with the words:

"IBWANTSEXX0RYOU. PICS PLZ.

KTHXBYE,

MAX."

"Oh, and here's another!"

Maxpower was fucking an Asian guy in the ass, whilst giving him a reacharound with the catcher's own shit.

It was GarnetXero.

The text:

"THIS WAZ THE CLOSEST THIGN I COULF GET TO A VASUDAN. SUCK ME PLZ?????

WUV,

MAX."

"Hey! HavokChylde just PMed me!"

"HAVOK: Hey dude, I hear Max is trying to bone your tender little asshole.
Can I suck your dick while he does it?"

"I tell you, this forum is getting weirder by the day." Ko'Yaan said with disgust.

'NEW PM: JASON: Y HALO THAR!'

He opens it.

"Hey, we're having the annual WTF.COM get together tomorrow. Can you come? I bought a chastity belt for Max and Havok, they won't be bothering you."

'REPLY: You sure 'bout that?!'

"Oh sorry honey, forgot you were there!"

She was sucking the cum out of her cunt with a rubber hose. At that point, he realized:

"WHOA! That's Yotaka! I just committed statuatory rape!"

"Don't worry, I won't tell ."

"Holy shit. Gotta bail!"

He jumped in his fighter, and took off towards the GVD Psamtik, where you can fuck anyone you want!

All of a sudden, BrainWashMonkey comes on the intercom.

"The pope wants you to give me a rimjob! Report to the flight deck at 12:10 sharp. You have your orders."

"Since when did they promote you to Admiral?!"

"Ever since I gave the random Black guy in charge of command the best blowjob of his life. You ever try using Smuckers?"

"No."

"It makes the penis tingle, and it makes your ordinary dick taste like cheese and grapes! You should try it, it's amazing."

"Okay. So what do I need for this mission?"

"We've loaded your missle banks with Smuckers Jam. If you need to use a missle, we have an Estes model rocket strapped to the bottom of your ship. You can press that button on the remote and it will fire."

"Does it have any explosives?"

"Yes. There's a bag of Descent's bed shit strapped to it."

"Great. Do I have lasers?"

"Yes, the generic ones. We can't spend too much."

"Well, okay. Entering subspace now!"

"RGR, LOL!"

"gl, hf"

And so, with that, our hero sped into the night, awaiting what would be an amazing promotion back home
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#3
Srsly? Just read the sexx0r part. Do you all just look at the scroll bar and say "Tee el, dee arr" without reading it?
 

Jung

???
Premium
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#5
Descent said:
Srsly? Just read the sexx0r part. Do you all just look at the scroll bar and say "Tee el, dee arr" without reading it?
Sarcasm; you should try it.
dustinzgirl said:
I have no idea whats going on.
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#7
Ahh, okay.

Jungie, what did you think?
 
5,711
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#9
I don't get it. What's all this bitching about a scroll bar?
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
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#11
It was actually cute. I like the funny about BWM being an admiral. I dont care how good of a blow job that slut gives, nobodys going to make him an admiral!
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#13
*bump*

Thanks, DG ;). That part was cute and funny, IMO.
 

I_OwnU

Clitpickle
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#14
That was the dumbest thing I've ever read. I feel as though U_Owe_Me some time to replace that which I can never get back. Life is too valuable.
 

switch_scribe

dolor ex fides
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#16
brainwashmonkey said:
I'm Admiral Underpants! Death to all opposition. :thumbsdn:
I didn't think anything could disturb me more than the initial post in this thread.
Thank you for proving me wrong, Admiral.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Staff
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#18
dustinzgirl said:
It was actually cute. I like the funny about BWM being an admiral. I dont care how good of a blow job that slut gives, nobodys going to make him an admiral!

DG's just mad because she asked me for a blow job and I said she was too skanky. :thumbsdn:
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#19
My little avatar dude is waiting. You're three days late now!

He's been living off the Smuckers in his missle bays. The mess hall is closed for a week, because a generic pipe burst.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Staff
9,729
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#20
I sent your little avatar dude on a suicide mission. The dumb fucker somehow managed to screw even that up. He doesn't deserve to be a part of the resistance. He will suffer at the hands of DG's spandex.
 
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