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Back on the Scene?

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#1
Well, it's been about a month and half since my girlfriend of 3 years said bye-bye to me forever, so I guess I'm "back on the prowl" or however you kids are sayin nowadays. So here's what sucks about this particular prowl:

There's this girl I met about 3 or 4 years ago while i was away on summer vacation. HOT-a-tot-HOTTIE. Ya know. Roll-up-your-tongue-and-pick-your-jaw-off-the-ground hottie. We kept in touch for about 2 years after we initially met each other, but it kind of tapered off.

A couple months ago (I'm still going out with my ex at this time) she calls me out of the blue. Asks me if i still live on Long Island. I told her yes, but im off at college now. She says "oh, thats too bad, cuz i go to school on LI now!"

I shat my pants. Needless to say, I break up with my ex, and now am talking to this girl on a regular basis, PLUS im home from college for winter break. SCORE!

<SKREEEECHING HALT!>

Unscore. Here is the worst part. That HOT-a-tot-HOTTIE is a MOTHA-FUCKIN-BORN-AGAIN-CHRISTIAN. No pre-marital sex. No pre-marital touchy touchy. No more dopey man like me gettin nakey with a HOT-a-tot-HOTTIE.

So here I am. Not even able to TALK about what i really wanna do with this girl... bustin a ball sack... and she just stands there bein a totally hot virgin FUCKING-BORN-AGAIN-CHRISTIAN.

Dammit. To hell. :thumbsdn:
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#2
tbsrk said:
Well, it's been about a month and half since my girlfriend of 3 years said bye-bye to me forever, so I guess I'm "back on the prowl" or however you kids are sayin nowadays. So here's what sucks about this particular prowl:

There's this girl I met about 3 or 4 years ago while i was away on summer vacation. HOT-a-tot-HOTTIE. Ya know. Roll-up-your-tongue-and-pick-your-jaw-off-the-ground hottie. We kept in touch for about 2 years after we initially met each other, but it kind of tapered off.

A couple months ago (I'm still going out with my ex at this time) she calls me out of the blue. Asks me if i still live on Long Island. I told her yes, but im off at college now. She says "oh, thats too bad, cuz i go to school on LI now!"

I shat my pants. Needless to say, I break up with my ex, and now am talking to this girl on a regular basis, PLUS im home from college for winter break. SCORE!

<SKREEEECHING HALT!>

Unscore. Here is the worst part. That HOT-a-tot-HOTTIE is a MOTHA-FUCKIN-BORN-AGAIN-CHRISTIAN. No pre-marital sex. No pre-marital touchy touchy. No more dopey man like me gettin nakey with a HOT-a-tot-HOTTIE.

So here I am. Not even able to TALK about what i really wanna do with this girl... bustin a ball sack... and she just stands there bein a totally hot virgin FUCKING-BORN-AGAIN-CHRISTIAN.

Dammit. To hell. :thumbsdn:
It's pretty simple, man.

Propose.
 

chucktheskiffie

Way too hyper...
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#4
AnthemBoy7 said:
yeah, then tap it on the honeymoon and anull the marriage when you get home.
That is probably one of the worst things i have ever heard!!! Funny though - repped :thumbsup:

Dude, if she is born again christian, then you need to focus on the most important word here - AGAIN.

if she was born once as a christian, then turned away from that, then was born again, does it not then mean she can simply be un-born???

whip out your piece (or as we say in oz, "present the morton") and see what happens, if she takes hold of it, she's yours forever. If she runs, it was never meant to be...
 
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#5
hahahahaha, but if she runs, it could be because of that rash, I'd get that checked out.
 

chucktheskiffie

Way too hyper...
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#6
rashes are ok... its warts that you have to worry about...

look champ - its simple - it would be great for you if she is as hot as you say she is... all your mates will give you points, and she'll make a nice accessory hanging off your arm. Just be prepared for the worlds worst case of blue balls.
 
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#7
yeah, I have to say, just go for it and make sure you mention that you're not a virgin, don't over-advertise, but drop in the conversation that you enjoy a good screw
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#8
ive already told her all about my sexual adventures but she's already told me she wants to wait until she's married. I'm too young to be tied down with anybody yet.

Finally, I used the born-again christian to signify the stranglehold that religion has on her life. I'm not actually sure she's a throroughbred born-again, just really really religious. Loves and quotes the bible.

I would get big points from my buddies for her bein so freakin hot, but i'd negative points for not screwing her and everytime she quotes the bible.
 
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#9
well, does she at least still give head? I mean, if not, fuck that, but if she does, well then, I suppose take what you can get if she's that great.
 

Black Flame

Mayhem on the Loose
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#10
dear god people, has adolescence taught you nothing? get her wasted or drug her and just take what you're forbidden (until now) to get. either that, or think of a less blatent, more devious scheme.. or negotiate! or tell her something like, if god didn't want her to be having sex at her age, he wouldn't have made her so gorgeous and developed! convince her how natural it is.. and hell throw in that you'll be 'making love' to her and not just fucking her or whatnot. if she doesn't go for it.. try to convince her to let you ease her into it... just some touch here and there, and keep going further and further until you get her revved up enough to hit that shit.
...of course i'm just speaking as from the standpoint of a horny teenage boy.. i mean cmon, you're supposed to be naturally sneaky and weasel-y when you wanna be. but if you're one of those more respectable types, and you really do like her aswell as her looks, just give it time dude. christian's have a tendancy to try to convert others.. you can honestly give her a taste of her own medicine. i'm sure by being with you and getting to know her, and her getting to know you, opinions will change here and there as you exchange thoughts and start to see some things in a new light. you might come up with some sort of compromise. never know.. time will tell
 
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#11
he brings up a valid point, I dated a girl who was a hardcore christian, then 8 months after we broke up, she banged some dude and bought me a box of condoms for christmas. She also gets drunk on a regular basis, I was jealous that I was not the instrument of her corruption.
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#12
AnthemBoy7 said:
he brings up a valid point, I dated a girl who was a hardcore christian, then 8 months after we broke up, she banged some dude and bought me a box of condoms for christmas. She also gets drunk on a regular basis, I was jealous that I was not the instrument of her corruption.
hahaha damn that sucks. But this girl, i know she wouldn't do that. Her beliefs are too firmly rooted. I don't think she drinks. And im not about to drug her up or anything like that.. thats just kinda shady. Oh well, she can just be my little eye candy friend.
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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#14
A little update for those interested:

I made a fleeting comment about taking my pants off and she said something to the effect of "Oh, that's not good. Pants should normally stay on."

Riiiiight... see ya next church meeting.
 

Fire_ze_Missles

Martha Fuckin' Stewart
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#15
tbsrk said:
A little update for those interested:

I made a fleeting comment about taking my pants off and she said something to the effect of "Oh, that's not good. Pants should normally stay on."

Riiiiight... see ya next church meeting.

And pants should normally stay off as well. The way I figure it is, you got your eyecandy hott mama. Now, go get yourself a decent looking broad who will bang ya. One for night; One for day. Problem solved. :thumbsup:
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
4,261
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#16
A short update for those intersted:

I havent talked to this girl for about 2 weeks now, but I'm sure we'll keep in touch. However, I'm currently seeing another girl, she lives on campus and i finally feel like im over my exgf (which took me a lot longer than Id like to admit)... and that about does it.

Peace out, a town.