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Bad Dreams

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
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#1
Through the broken visions of fragmented times, I'm borrowing now the patience to hold this moment in time. I'm far from flying high in clear blue skies. I'm spiraling down to the hole in the ground where he lie's. My view negotiates the flashbacks of the past.
I'm beaten down and freezing cold with vacant gazing eyes. But, I still hear him passing within the shadows down the hall. Have I lost concentration; realities hold?
I never had the nerve to tell you-as a kid I had this fascination-lovingly upon my fathers knee. Did he wonder how I'd speak of him when he's in that cold dark place? Did I ever really know him, or was it just a crazy dream.
If I open my heart to you; show you my weak side what would you do? If I show you my dark side, would you still love me in the light? Could you spare me the pity and help me atone? Would you look me in the face and say 'just leave me alone!'
Could I smile with reasurance as you say I love you on the phone? Would you tell me daddy..."you'll never be alone?"
As a man I have this fascination, lovingly my son apon my knee. I've wondered how he'd speak of me when im in that cold dark place. Did I ever really know him, or was it just a crazy dream?
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
9,302
744
387
#2
Its about a dream. A dream isnt supposed to be completly logical.the idea here is easy to see. you tell ME what you think it means.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
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#3
i get the illogical thing. lots of excellent writers use this format, but, please, for the love of god, use the actual english lang. so i can understan what the fucking hell you are saying.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#4
Through the broken visions of fragmented times, I'm borrowing now the patience to hold this moment in time. I'm far from flying high in clear blue skies. I'm spiraling down to the hole in the ground where he lie's. My view negotiates the flashbacks of the past.
I'm beaten down and freezing cold with vacant gazing eyes. But, I still hear him passing within the shadows down the hall. Have I lost concentration; realities hold?
I never had the nerve to tell you-as a kid I had this fascination-lovingly upon my fathers knee. Did he wonder how I'd speak of him when he's in that cold dark place? Did I ever really know him, or was it just a crazy dream.
If I open my heart to you; show you my weak side what would you do? If I show you my dark side, would you still love me in the light? Could you spare me the pity and help me atone? Would you look me in the face and say 'just leave me alone!'
Could I smile with reasurance as you say I love you on the phone? Would you tell me daddy..."you'll never be alone?"
As a man I have this fascination, lovingly my son apon my knee. I've wondered how he'd speak of me when im in that cold dark place. Did I ever really know him, or was it just a crazy dream?

plz dont be mad I edited it. read it now. it sounds awesome, because punctuation aids the literature.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#5
btw i think it means that you need to find someone to love and trust without complications, fear or emotional starvation. Hence, you wish for a child to look at you unconditionally, but you must first find a mate you can trust to create that perfect creature.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
9,302
744
387
#6
dustinzgirl said:
i get the illogical thing. lots of excellent writers use this format, but, please, for the love of god, use the actual english lang. so i can understan what the fucking hell you are saying.
youre right,1.I suck at typing.2.my brain was fried when it was written.
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
9,302
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#7
i guess in a nutshell,my absentee father did'nt bother himself with what i was thinking of him as a child.at the time, i found myself following unwillingly in the same footsteps with my son.(see the river)feel free to edit that one as well. thanks for the input.
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#8
gehtfuct said:
through the broken visions of fragmented times.Im borrowing now the patience to hold this moment in time.Im far from flying high in clear blue skies. Im spiraling down to the hole in the ground where he lie's.My view negotiates the flashbacks of the past.Im beaten down and freezing cold with vacant gazing eyes. But i still hear him passing within the shadows down the hall.Have I lost concentration,realities hold.I never had the nerve to tell you-as a kid I had this fascination.lovingly upon my fathers knee.Did he wonder how I'd speak of him when he's in that cold dark place.Did i ever really know him,or was it just a crazy dream.If I open my heart to you,show you my weak side what would you do?If I show you my dark side,would you still love me in the light?Could you spare me the pity and help me atone?would you look me in the face and say-just leave me alone!Could I smile with reasurance as you say I love you on the phone.would you tell me daddy...you'll never be alone. As a man I have this fascination,lovingly my son apon my knee.I've wondered how he'd speak of me when im in that cold dark place.Did I ever really know him,or was it just a crazy dream?

Here how I see it:

You either didn't know your father or you never felt much love from him. Now that you are searching for that empty part of you, a part that is still logging to be loved and cared for. You are seeing yourself as a father now, or are a father, one of the two.... wondering how your child will see you, how he will remember you when you are no longer on this earth. You are trying to figure out if everything is a dream or if it is real. You are wondering if you are true to yourself as a person and if you show that side you sometimes hide if another person will love it.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#9
gehtfuct said:
youre right,1.I suck at typing.2.my brain was fried when it was written.

when is your brain not fried?

plus, most good writers write what they know, off emotion. they then add character and scenery. this is a very emotional short.