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bad parenting....

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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#1
ok so when it comes to tv and other media... what is bad parenting? lets take for instance... some parents wont let thier kids watch porno(obvious reasons) but will let them watch a freddy or jason flick...

some parents wont even let thier kids watch sesame street because they think it offers too much conflict...

some parents let thier kids do anything they want.. those are usually the ones you see in a store who give thier kid a 'recommendation' as to what not to do and the kid barks "shut up mom" and she does...

now me, I try to meet in the middle somewhere... I'll let my son(age 5) see shows like family guy or movies like little nicky or lord of the rings... i wont let him see really violent films like house of 1000 corpses or language filled films like bad santa.. nor will I let him see porno... He seems to be turning out ok, he's got a nice disposition.. he doesnt fight, only horses around and wrestles for fun sometimes.. most often he tells on other kids who hit, or bite him, although on occasion a swear does slip out... but we let him know he aint sposed to do that.. never do we hit him, and he listens to us..

so what is bad parenting in reguards to exposer to such things? could a kid wind up more violent by watching violence or could one wind up more violent by it being taboo and they discover it on thier own? same with sex and other behaivoral problems? is it worse to expose them to it and explain it, or hide them from it and they find out on thier own?
 

ReiMeishin

Dreaming to live
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#2
1. Make sure your child (everyone make sure every child) knows the difference between fantasy and reality. Failure to separate these things can lead to disaster.
2. Try to abide by as many rules you set for your child as you can. (not things like driving, crossing the street, etc.) Avoiding hypocrisy is the price of being a good parent.
3. It is impossible to raise a child perfectly.
4. A child that is raised almost perfectly can still turn out bad. The law of averages says so.

SIDE NOTE: I would never have a child. I cannot deal with that much responsibility. As a result of this I will probobly never marry. As a result of that I will probobly be considered a failure in that respect by many.
 

Darklight

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#3
ReiMeishin said:
SIDE NOTE: I would never have a child. I cannot deal with that much responsibility. As a result of this I will probobly never marry. As a result of that I will probobly be considered a failure in that respect by many.
and thus is the conundrum of my world... I didnt plan on having a kid... it happened and here I am... raised Irish Catholic so abortion and adoption werent gonna happen... but so far I think im doing ok... like I said he aint homicidal.. he isnt into the ganster rap scene(tho he is only 5), he's non violent, and just a playful kid... hopefully he doesnt do stupid shit and fuck up his life...
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#5
Well, myself, I'd restrict a 5 year old from movies with violent themes like Lord of the Rings. I'm not a child shrink but my guess is exposing someone that young to violence, even of that nature, is detrimental to raising a healthy teenager/adult.

BUT, I think more important is that you are involved, you set limits and boundaries and you enforce them. Beating a kid isn't ok. Spanking a kid that's way out of line is. (Fuck what society says on that score.)

What most parents seem to forget is that you're the child's PARENT first and foremost. Not his friend. Parents that want their kids to LIKE them end up being permissive. Your kid will pretty much like you anyway. But you do have to earn their respect.

I don't think I could get away with telling my mom to shut-up even today and I'm old enough to have kids that could post on this site. (Thank GOD I don't have any kids, here or anywhere.)
 

Darklight

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#6
well as for films like lord of the rings and star wars... he pretends to be a jedi or a knight in a sword battle from time to time.. I have no problem with that... its healthy to have a vivid imagination.

as for spanking we caught ourselves doing it for a short time as he was younger... then we saw him recreating the punishments on his toys.. specifically a doll he namned scooby which was a peasent man from colonial williamsburg... he was slamming it into the ground and screaming "bad scooby!" it was then we stopped all physcial punishment... the idea is if a parent is violent to his/her child.. it teaches that kid the way to solve problems is be violent..
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#7
Well, I don't know how you were spanking him but in my house, it was one or two swats on the ass. First it was explained exactly what, how, when, and WHY it was being delivered. I only remember a few spankings. Usually the 30 or 40 minutes of talking about the spanking sucked WAY more than the actual act.

But hey, if your kid turns out OK fuck it, what do I know? As far as Star Wars goes, I had serious questions for the parents of the 5 and 6 year olds that took them to see Episode III. The violence depicted against children alone was enough. PG movies for a 5 year old I think is probably ok, (given that most G movies would make you as a parent want to commit suicide) but PG13 or R is probably just too much for a young kid. Sure, their attention span is about 1/3 second long but as they get older and more enured to the things they see you have to wonder what'll happen.

I guess the goal is to teach your kid to be respectful and that there are repercutions for their behavior. How you do that is entirely up to you. The worst part, as I see it, for you has got to be never knowing. You won't know until much later in life if the things you do today are going to work. And if they don't, you'll always be stuck wondering why, how much of it is your fault and what could you have done differently.

That's why I like dogs. They don't live forever, they're WAY cheaper, and when they get out of hand, a good firm swat on the nose is all it takes.
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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#8
Well, okay. I was raised in an abusive household. My dad physically and verbally abused my entire family. So, I grow up, and if I pay attention I can trace some things I do (and some things I don't do) to things pretty early in my childhood. So obviously these years can have an enormous impact on your child.

But, onto more recent things, and what parents probably fear most, the teenage years. I am fifteen, and I live in a fairly tolerant household. I can wear my hair, my clothes, (if I wanted to my makeup), any way I want. I can listen to whatever music I want, watch whatever I want to (except porn I guess) on T.V., and my mom is usually nice about letting me hang out with my friends and she lets me stay out late. In return, I know not to abuse these privelidges, because my mom will take them away. I had a lot of trouble with drugs and hanging out with the wrong people a few years ago, but I am on the right track.

I have seen both sides of the coin, the extremely permissive (my dad when I was younger) and the extremely over-protective (my mom after we left my dad), and both result in their fair share of problems. I have a middle-ground type thing going on right now and I guess it's working. My mom doesn't hit me, but she also doesn't have to ask me twice.
 

Darklight

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#9
the only part of episode 3 I didnt want him to see was in the end when annikin had 3 limbs cut off and caught fire from the flowing lava...but my wife took him to see the movie without first reviewing it so it was too late... that I didnt like too much and he got scared for a while... but he's ok now.. hell he's only had a nightmare that I know of once...

ultimately I do tell him of the differences between pretending on tv shows and what happens in the real world..
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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#10
Ok let's see, I did grow up in abusive household, but besides that, I was allowed to do mostly all the things I wanted, but some movies I wasn't allowed to see when I was young.. such as, American History X and highly violent movie, I was though allowed to see scary movies.
Even though I was allowed to do most of all the things I wanted to do, I didn't tell my mum to shut up or my dad, so I wasn't spoilt, I respected my parents (kinda...but that's a different side to it)
You just have to get the values straight in a kid, where to be polite, polite to other people, respect people.. etc.

:happysad:
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#11
Darklight said:
now me, I try to meet in the middle somewhere... I'll let my son(age 5) see shows like family guy or movies like little nicky or lord of the rings... i wont let him see really violent films like house of 1000 corpses or language filled films like bad santa.. nor will I let him see porno... He seems to be turning out ok, he's got a nice disposition.. he doesnt fight, only horses around and wrestles for fun sometimes.. most often he tells on other kids who hit, or bite him, although on occasion a swear does slip out... but we let him know he aint sposed to do that.. never do we hit him, and he listens to us..
That is me too. I also do not let them watch shows with excessive sexual portrayl of women, like MTV or with serious adult themes, Family Guy is pretty off limits as well as Trippn the rift, but as for freddy vs Jason, AVP, ect, my kids are evil and think they are funny for the most part.
Basically, any shitty b rated movie with crappy actors and bullshit is allright, but any movie with naked sex or plots that can be percieved as being "real" are off limits.

ps: some ppl may think Im a bad parent, but I would slap the snot out of my kid if any of them ever told me to shut up. that goes for other ppl's kids too.
 

Darklight

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#12
it seems the key to being a good parent is analizing your child and determining what is needed to mold them into a good person... each kid is different, so there is no one answer to what you should or shouldnt let your kid see... what will set off one kid to a bad direction will be fine for another with proper explination... makes it all complicated and shit but I guess thats how psycholigy is... everyone is different.. so therapy is different for everyone...
 

leehype

drunk with a jeep problem
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#13
I come from a split family, and i had to put up with the "your mom is" and "your dad is" crap for about 5 years. It started when I was 5 years old. I'm not sure how to explane it but I can't stand arguing, at all. The only way for me to deal with it was to not look at my situation from my perspective. I find its a neet little trick to use at times when I'm under stress.

The way I see it, your rasing your kid fine darklight. The saying goes the punishment should fit the crime, and yours seem to. A friend of my sister came to the house one day wile i was playing rolercoster tycoon, and this kid said "Oh we used to have that game till our parents found out that you can dround people." They'er youngest kid was 15. You haven't been dragged on to national TV, so you should be good.
 

ChilianFuckFace

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#14
If you allow your kid to watch more than one hour of TV a week, then you are a bad parent!

I never watched TV when I was little, and look how I turned out... a genius! :cool:
 

King Goldfish

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#15
Darklight said:
ok so when it comes to tv and other media... what is bad parenting? lets take for instance... some parents wont let thier kids watch porno(obvious reasons) but will let them watch a freddy or jason flick...

some parents wont even let thier kids watch sesame street because they think it offers too much conflict...

some parents let thier kids do anything they want.. those are usually the ones you see in a store who give thier kid a 'recommendation' as to what not to do and the kid barks "shut up mom" and she does...

now me, I try to meet in the middle somewhere... I'll let my son(age 5) see shows like family guy or movies like little nicky or lord of the rings... i wont let him see really violent films like house of 1000 corpses or language filled films like bad santa.. nor will I let him see porno... He seems to be turning out ok, he's got a nice disposition.. he doesnt fight, only horses around and wrestles for fun sometimes.. most often he tells on other kids who hit, or bite him, although on occasion a swear does slip out... but we let him know he aint sposed to do that.. never do we hit him, and he listens to us..

so what is bad parenting in reguards to exposer to such things? could a kid wind up more violent by watching violence or could one wind up more violent by it being taboo and they discover it on thier own? same with sex and other behaivoral problems? is it worse to expose them to it and explain it, or hide them from it and they find out on thier own?

I hate to say it, My one problem as a Parent is both my wife and I use the F word. But I turn to my kids and beg them never to use it.

But both of my Kids are smart. My oldest might be advanced and it was suggested to send her to a higher learning facility. My Younger kid is right behind her.



I didnt like the movie "Mask 2" in which it is designed to look like a Kids movie but turned out to have alot of adult humour in it. Fuck the marketing guy who painted such a bullshit impression on their DVD box.

My kids love most of the TV shows (mostly done before 2000) like Full House, drake and Josh (I think thats the name of it), Brady Bunch etc..

TV they hate is RAP Music Television. Most of MTV stuff. And though I might have something to do with it but never pushed it on them, they have a love for alot of 1970s and 80s rock and Alternative music. They also seem to love classical music and children songs.

Alot of kids today under the age of 10 are listening to Rap music with adult content in the lyrics. Something disturbing about seeing neighborhood kids dressing up like thugs (especially middle class kids) and throwing out lyrics of Hoes and Bitches".
 

Darklight

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#16
ChilianFuckFace said:
I never watched TV when I was little, and look how I turned out...
oh my fucking god... he's watching tv every day of his life now!!!