WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Ball Smashage + Wind knocked out

Jenkies

The Dude
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#1
I was just reading this forum and rememberd this from a long time ago when I was a kid. We used to have this thing called a healthrider in my house, for those who don't know what that is it's supposed to be some sort of excercise machine where you sit on a pad, and grasp these handled and kind of row towards you and the seat raises up and down. Anyways I was messing around on it for kicks, and going a little too fast when somehow I slipped forward and to the right, smashed by groin onto the bar that's in front of the seat and simultaneously hit my ribcage on some piece of the machine. So I laid on the ground in unbelieavable agony while not being able to breathe and having my balls in excruciating pain.
 

Zickddot

Banned - What an Asshat!
1,433
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#2
that reminds me of a great story, much simaler but much differant:

i was on a trampolene with a friend and he fell on his back and was in the process of sitting up

i was falling too and my stomache came down on his head, and my nads came down on his knee.

that gravity and weight at its worst.
 

Jenkies

The Dude
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#3
Zickddot said:
that reminds me of a great story, much simaler but much differant:

i was on a trampolene with a friend and he fell on his back and was in the process of sitting up

i was falling too and my stomache came down on his head, and my nads came down on his knee.

that gravity and weight at its worst.
Holy crap, that had to have been a bitch.
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
5,438
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#4
i was helping my bro move into an apartment and his grandson in law tinged the edge of my left nut with a stick.. god if i didnt go down for the count.. I wanted so bad to end that fucker..
 

swizeguy

How dare you!?
912
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#5
I was at the house of my girlfriend at the time sitting on the couch when her little sister was jumping around on the couch. She thought she would be a pain and try to see how close she could jump. I was stuborn and didnt move. Well she found the target... ouch...
 

Jarilith

Tenderony
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#6
before my good friend joined the USMC he came to visit me, and some asshole left thier bike laying in the door way. Somebody out side was trying to claim the last cold beer, so he was in a hurry. He came running and tried to jump over the bike and out the door, but made a slight miscalculation, and mashed his nads on the handlebar of the bike, crumpling to the floor, but his momentum was still carrying him forward and he slid across the porch getting his knees full of wood splinters, and then fell off the porch. (an 18" drop, but just enough to crush the very last of his dignity right along w/ his testicles) Needless to say, there were tears; his of pain, and mine of laughter.
 
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#7
Jarilith said:
before my good friend joined the USMC he came to visit me, and some asshole left thier bike laying in the door way. Somebody out side was trying to claim the last cold beer, so he was in a hurry. He came running and tried to jump over the bike and out the door, but made a slight miscalculation, and mashed his nads on the handlebar of the bike, crumpling to the floor, but his momentum was still carrying him forward and he slid across the porch getting his knees full of wood splinters, and then fell off the porch. (an 18" drop, but just enough to crush the very last of his dignity right along w/ his testicles) Needless to say, there were tears; his of pain, and mine of laughter.
but did he get the beer? I fear the ultimate nut kick would be to have someone else take the last beer on top of all that
 

Zickddot

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#8
was this somebody some kid from the neighborhood? there are lots of kids that break in to people's houses and drink their shit.
 

VenomHowell

Cynical Piece of Shit
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#9
Speaking of which, this one time... There was an old man in my province... And he put anti-freeze in beer bottles/wine to use in his shed, for outhouse toilet and whatever...

Some kids broke in and... Yeah. I think a couple were blind after that, and maybe 2 died. I'm wondering why they didn't stop once they realized it wasn't beer/wine.

The old man got charged with somethin... Apparantly they said he had put it there as a trap because kids had a habit of breaking into his shed to steal alcohol. I say proper thing :thumbsup:
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
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#10
VenomHowell said:
Speaking of which, this one time... There was an old man in my province... And he put anti-freeze in beer bottles/wine to use in his shed, for outhouse toilet and whatever...

Some kids broke in and... Yeah. I think a couple were blind after that, and maybe 2 died. I'm wondering why they didn't stop once they realized it wasn't beer/wine.

The old man got charged with somethin... Apparantly they said he had put it there as a trap because kids had a habit of breaking into his shed to steal alcohol. I say proper thing :thumbsup:
i hope he didnt get charged.....thats a good idea....make the kids drink the "other" KOOL-AID....hmmm maybe i should start adding it as my new "special" ingredient :thumbsup:
 
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#11
badassmtbiker said:
but did he get the beer? I fear the ultimate nut kick would be to have someone else take the last beer on top of all that

Actually *I* got the last beer, but I was laughing so hard, somebody took it from me before I spilled it and alas, I lost it. I suppose karmically (sp?) I deserved to have lost the beer for laughing at his intense personal anguish, but dude, it was SO worth it.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
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#12
Jarilith said:
Actually *I* got the last beer, but I was laughing so hard, somebody took it from me before I spilled it and alas, I lost it. I suppose karmically (sp?) I deserved to have lost the beer for laughing at his intense personal anguish, but dude, it was SO worth it.
it should be "i suppose due to my negative karma...." sucks for the beer though :(
 

jamesp

In Memory...
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#13
speaking of wrecking your nuts....

a year or so ago, a bunch of friends were over at my house....well, Stephen and Lora started just horse playing around, and well Stephen dropped her, elbow outstretched, right onto ole' james' nuts whilst he(I) was laying on the floor, she didnt weigh too much(thank god) but she weighed enough when all of her weight was on her elbow....on my nuts! ouch, much pain and tears!
 

KreffKa'sWill

4 '04 for Life!
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#14
Man after reading all of this shit i have to say i'm fairly happy at how well protected my nuts have apparantly been.
 

Easty

Click click boom
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#15
KreffKa'sWill said:
Man after reading all of this shit i have to say i'm fairly happy at how well protected my nuts have apparantly been.
if it weren't for the treaty, i'd kick you in the nuts.

you, know: just to see what you've been missing