ok, so this isn't really insulting my girlfriend, and I don't really get angry about it, but it is upsetting, so I'll put it in here. I have been dating Becky for over 3 months and two weeks. The problem is that when I tell her she's beautiful or pretty, she doesn't beleive me. She really is so beautiful, and I don't say this only because I'm her boyfriend, and I'm not her boyfriend because of how pretty she is. All of my friends call her hot and sexy, and one even licked her picture when I showed it to him. even though I've told her this, she still doesnt' believe me.GUys on the street that she doesn't know go up to her and do some type of lizard thing with their tongues. She is beautiful, but she doens't believe me.
Beauty
- Thread starter Locke
- Start date
Girls will say their not when guys say they are beautiful because...
1. they have low self esteem
2. they say that because they want more attention and they like when you say it but don't admit it, because she knows that you will say it more if she keeps saying she isnt...
Just a thought ....
1. they have low self esteem
2. they say that because they want more attention and they like when you say it but don't admit it, because she knows that you will say it more if she keeps saying she isnt...
Just a thought ....
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder
meh_it_all said:Girls will say their not when guys say they are beautiful because...
1. they have low self esteem
2. they say that because they want more attention and they like when you say it but don't admit it, because she knows that you will say it more if she keeps saying she isnt...
Just a thought ....
It's most likly not the attension thing, because she only says shes not around him. I'm assuming that she doesn't just go around saying "I'm ugly." And I hate girls with low self esteem. It pisses me off. More than likly though, it's low self esteem.
Locke said:
Yup, theres gonna be chicks who do that kinda thing. My old girl was kind of similar. She never wanted to show me her ass. She said it was nasty, but i fuckin loved that ol' can of hers.
ok, it seems as though I was not too clear in the first post. she doesn't have low self esteem...trust me, she definetly does not, and she doesn't seek attention. Your right, though, J.J, she doesnt' just go around saying she's ugly. It's only when I say she's beautiful to her that she says "no I'm not," or just sighs or whatever. I definetly wasn't clear enough on my first post. I understand why she doesnt' think she's pretty. Its a deep psychological issue that effects most people. Partly low self esteem, but not the same. I dont' feel like going into too deep of an explanation of it because it'll take too long. But its' not because she wants attention or because she thinks of herself lowly (besides her looks). Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh yeah, and TwisT, I have never looked at another girl and will never while I'm with Becky.
Oh yeah, and TwisT, I have never looked at another girl and will never while I'm with Becky.
My girlfriend says that too.. jeesh when i tell her shes beautiful she either rolls her eyes and says umm ok... or even sometimes has laughed at me (thats a good way to make regret saying it.. lol) but i keep telling her and she keeps thinking im not telling her the truth.. god i swear the boyfriends shes had before me.. if i even meet them im gonna kick the living shit outta them for doing that to her... ahhhh
its not always past boyfriends fault. I don't really know her too well, so I'm not sure how accurate I'll be, but I might be able to give you an analysis of why she thinks that. Just email me at [email protected]. (by the way, I study psychology alot at school and observe it all the time. I'm correct on analysis about 87% of the time if I've talked to the person for at least an hour. Hapy to help anyone with problems.)
Locke said:
Yeah i have taken a few psychology classes myself. I am really interested in it. But my g/f is like no one i have ever met before. You'd have to meet her to know what i mean. She is a really atractive girl, thin, curly strawberry blonde hair... etc.. Great personality and everything but she just has the worst self image that i have ever seen for such a wonderful person...
But what do you wanna know tell me and i might email ya giving ya the answers see what you think.
It's JJ. Maybe, if she's nither of those two that we said, then she's just shy about her looks. Like, she doesn't want people to notice. One of my friends, REAL close friends (you know what I mean) is really sexy. When people bring up that shes hot, she gets like that. She doesn't say "No I'm not" or anything like that, but she rolls her eyes or sighs. Not always, but sometimes.Locke said:
its more of how she's been treated in the past with my Becka. Most her her boyfriends were shit heads except for Kevin and I think there was one other one, but oh well (and sh'e shad 18 boyfriends). She's never been told she looks bad, but just how they kinda ignored her degraded her mental image of herself. Her last boyfriend barely ever said "Hey Baby," to her. He just ignored her. And when someone ignores you, your unconscious mind (the part of your mind that works and thinks without you knowing) thinks that they don't want to be seen with you (at least when it's your bf/gf. There are other things your unconscious mind could believe, but when its your bf/gf ignoring you, this one is true for 76% of people). And your mind also thinks that they don't want to be seen with you because you don't look good (this is true for about 72% of the people who think their bf/gf doesnt' want to be seen with them) This is why some girls don't think they're pretty. But, like you said, some of them are just modest and don't want to admit they're sexy or pretty.
Locke said:
This has a lot more to do with it than most people would think. My ex was a very abusive person, and constantly called me stupid and ugly and fat. six years of that shit will fuck up your head. CL always says Im pretty and worries about someone stealing me away from him, but I am just surprised that anyone would even want me. I dont think I am sexy or pretty at all. but, that is another story. What makes me feel sexy and pretty is that CL pays attention to me, and is there when I need him to be, and never degrades me. It is not just telling her that she is pretty, it is showing her that she is your world by paying attention to her and loving her.
Yes, that is another thing for alot of girls. They like it when you pay attention. It's psychologically important to everyone, men too, even if you don't realize it. Thats part of why Becka loves me is because she knows I listen to her and I don't judge her. I'm her first boyfriend to actually listen to her.
After a while of being told the same thing, you start beleiving it. Epecially if its someone you love telling you it. And bad things always stick longer than good things when it comes to that. That's why so many peopel have psychological problems. People think they're ugly or hated or fat or whatever they think because thats what they had been told by either someone close. And some of you might say enemies can cause it too. But what you must realize is that enemies are close. Anyone who can effect your psychological image of yourself is considered to be close.
I'm not saying its not possible, but for Becka, its because her bf's were all shitheads who ignored her. I can't see how anyone could ignore someone liek her.
After a while of being told the same thing, you start beleiving it. Epecially if its someone you love telling you it. And bad things always stick longer than good things when it comes to that. That's why so many peopel have psychological problems. People think they're ugly or hated or fat or whatever they think because thats what they had been told by either someone close. And some of you might say enemies can cause it too. But what you must realize is that enemies are close. Anyone who can effect your psychological image of yourself is considered to be close.
I'm not saying its not possible, but for Becka, its because her bf's were all shitheads who ignored her. I can't see how anyone could ignore someone liek her.
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