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Bikes suck

Eclipsed

The Eclipsed One
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#1
Okay. Just to let you know, this is an ancient Trek 830 with no seat (stolen) and no front brake (broke off, somehow 2-inch-thick steel easily breaks).

I was riding my bike in the big blue room with the giant yellow lamp, with the green and sometimes gray carpet. Now I was feeling a little reckless so I decided to ride down a 60 degree hill. I tried to brake near the bottom but, having only my rear brake, the back quickly shifted to the front and my crotch quickly shifted to the handlebar.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that I was going almost 30 MPH down a steep asphalt hill. I cracked my ass on the bottom and the bike crashed into a heap on me. I'm still lucky I managed to dodge the broken-seat-in-the-ass thing.

The point of this story? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him stink.
 

squeeze_me

Fuck me in the gotaz.
1,051
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#2
Eclipsed said:
Okay. Just to let you know, this is an ancient Trek 830 with no seat (stolen) and no front brake (broke off, somehow 2-inch-thick steel easily breaks).

I was riding my bike in the big blue room with the giant yellow lamp, with the green and sometimes gray carpet. Now I was feeling a little reckless so I decided to ride down a 60 degree hill. I tried to brake near the bottom but, having only my rear brake, the back quickly shifted to the front and my crotch quickly shifted to the handlebar.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that I was going almost 30 MPH down a steep asphalt hill. I cracked my ass on the bottom and the bike crashed into a heap on me. I'm still lucky I managed to dodge the broken-seat-in-the-ass thing.

The point of this story? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him stink.
thanks for setting yourself back 1000yrs.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
4,126
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#3
riding a mtn bike downhill is all about positioning on the bike.. lean back downhill and forward going up.. then you'll stay on unless you hit something..
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#4
Pfft. Consider yourself lucky you didn't have the front brake. Since you were stupid enough not to stay slow enough to keep control of the bike going down, hitting the front brake would have flipped you over. I'd take a crotch to the handlebars and a bit of road rash on my side over smashing my face into the concrete, getting bent backwards, and having the bike land on my crotch any day.
 

dookie

OMGWTFBBQ!!1!
724
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#5
umm riding a bike is an outdoor activity, sorry i just needed to burst that little bubble of yours
 

shep

Local alcoholic
1,853
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#7
afiq980 said:
The front brake would be worse than the back break IDIOT!
Keep your flaming for Bait&Tackle IDIOT!
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
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#8
It's true though. Using the front break would of been really bad. I was driving around a gravel carpark making my way to the exit. A car came rushing around, I slammed on the brakes, the front wheal locked and threw me off. I was pretty badly graised, i got a few stones lodged in my knees and most of the bike's fairing was fucked. Imagine what the damage would of been if that happened in Eclipsed's situation. :eek:
 
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#9
Most of you probably don't give to big of a shit, but... I have more proof that bikes suck. I was riding my BRIGHT yellow Hoffman across the street and a car crashed into me. On impact, my right leg was shattered in two places, the bone popping through the skin. I then rolled up the hood of the car, shoulder first into the windsheild, breaking both my collar bone and said windsheild. I then proceeded to fly a good 20 to 30 feet. Upon impact of the ground, the bone was shoved further through the skin and I was K.O.'d.

Case and point, It doesn't matter what the color of the bike is, the fact you are in a crosswalk and that 3 of the 4 lanes were stoped, if you're a ped in a big city...You're FUCKED.
 

wilko125

Rep My Post
1,278
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#10
dookie said:
umm riding a bike is an outdoor activity, sorry i just needed to burst that little bubble of yours
i wonder what "a big blue room" could be refering to?
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
4,126
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#11
am i alone here in saying that i love watching other peole fall off bikes?
i mtn biked for a good 10 or 12 years.. had a few scrapes but never broke anything (on a bike anyway), worst crash i had was i slipped on an icy road and slid under a car.. luckily it stopped moving just as we hit..
but i have a lot of bmx, DH and mtn bike dvds, i love watching people lose it.. makes me laugh and cringe and go 'ewwww'.. all at the same time.. :thumbsup:
 

kindbud

Banned - What an Asshat!
979
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#12
wilko125 said:
i wonder what "a big blue room" could be refering to?
either it is was a dream, or the big blue room was the blue sky outdoors, yellow lamp was the sun, green carpet was grass, and gray was concrete or gravel....i was wondering the same thing. guess it's his poetry.
 

otepsoul

Bringer of Bees
2,732
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#13
Eclipsed said:
Okay. Just to let you know, this is an ancient Trek 830 with no seat (stolen) and no front brake (broke off, somehow 2-inch-thick steel easily breaks).

I was riding my bike in the big blue room with the giant yellow lamp, with the green and sometimes gray carpet. Now I was feeling a little reckless so I decided to ride down a 60 degree hill. I tried to brake near the bottom but, having only my rear brake, the back quickly shifted to the front and my crotch quickly shifted to the handlebar.

It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't for the fact that I was going almost 30 MPH down a steep asphalt hill. I cracked my ass on the bottom and the bike crashed into a heap on me. I'm still lucky I managed to dodge the broken-seat-in-the-ass thing.

The point of this story? You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him stink.

hahahah ive done that before. not the stealing but the flying over the bike
 

Boycott

Soul Doubt
1,387
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#14
I dirtjump a lot... I've seen injuries... like the time my friend was moving to Vancouver and we wanted to give him something (memory) to take with him...

We piled up all of our bikes, and my friend Matt takes a 2,000$ bike down this huge hill, over this equally huge jump... He cleared the bikes (about 20 of them, really impressive), and landed... I was amazed until he hit the jump that was set up about 20 meters from the landing of the jump he just did... Road rash all down his side, smashed his head off the ground (he was wearing a full-faced helmet...), and a few bruises... It was scary watching it...

Then this one time, I hit a jump and got a TON of air (I think I'd taken the pegs off my bike, and wasn't expecting to get that much air off of a jump...) and I hit a tree branch... I had the wind knocked out of me when I hit the ground, and I was pretty fucked up...

Then this other time, I was using my dad's bike, going down a hill, and I had to turn... My dad's bike is shit, so I ended up going over the curb into a ditch sorta... Head went over the handlebars and everything... There's probably about a million other biking accident stories I could tell :)