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Can anyone tell me....?

tonymontana

Tony Montana
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#1
It's not quite "What is the meaning of Life?", just some stuff that's been bothering me... Let's see ya wrap yer heads around these:

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
 
#2
tonymontana said:
It's not quite "What is the meaning of Life?", just some stuff that's been bothering me... Let's see ya wrap yer heads around these:

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

Is there another word for synonym?

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
Here goes:
1-Not all of the monkeys and apes evolved like we did
2-Yes he would still be wrong
3-not that I know of
4-Not really
5-I suppose infants enjoy it more as they don't have to work or anything
6-Yes or he would see himself
7-They would negate each other so yes you would be hungry
8-Succeded in failing
9-You can shoot them but you would probably be shot.
10-Beats me.
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
Premium
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#3
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Because they decided wearing pants was just too much work.

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

You know he is.

Is there another word for synonym?

No

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

It's better than calling it "Almost got it right!"

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Bread

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

No, adults have way more fun with it. Babies cry all the time for a reason.

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

This describes exactly how the universe works.

If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

Depends on the length between servings

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

You have successfully failed

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Don't you? We sure do. You're missing out, literally.

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?[/QUOTE]

Because slavery is more expensive than the hourly wage.
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#4
Tony why'd you pawn these off as your own? They've been circulating through the internet since the internet went public.
 

void

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#5
yeah!
use quotes unless you thunk it yourself..
 

tonymontana

Tony Montana
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#6
BklynCannonball said:
Tony why'd you pawn these off as your own? They've been circulating through the internet since the internet went public.
I never said they were my own, sorry I haven't lived on the internet since it went public so I wouldn't know. I'll try to use quotes in future void.
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#7
BklynCannonball said:
Tony why'd you pawn these off as your own? They've been circulating through the internet since the internet went public.
Dude, exactly when did the internet go "public". It was never exactly a privately heald technology.
 

icka

fuckoffanddiekthx!
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#9
BklynCannonball said:
It's started with the military. Then it was given to the public.
jesus, tough crowd eh?

anyway your getting off topic here.

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

where did you hear this from.
 

ReiMeishin

Dreaming to live
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#10
tonymontana said:
It's not quite "What is the meaning of Life?", just some stuff that's been bothering me... Let's see ya wrap yer heads around these:

1. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

2. If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

3. Is there another word for synonym?

4. Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

5. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

6. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

7. If God dropped acid, would he see people?

8. If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

9. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

10. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

11. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
1. Man did not evolve from monkies and apes. Man, monkies, and apes all evolved into something different from the same thing.
2. Answer from:
Men- It doen't matter whether he's wrong or not because there's no one there.
Women- Of course!
3. Yes, but I don't think any of them are recognized by dictionaries.
4. Yep.
5. Unsliced bread
6. IDK b/c: I can't remember being an infant and never commited adultrery
7. For my take on this read Tale of a programmer in writer's block.
8. Either that or you would blow up.
9. You have sabotaged yourself.
10. Because some things just suck.
11. Work by definition is not terrific.
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
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#11
BklynCannonball said:
It's started with the military. Then it was given to the public.
Uhhhh no, not exactly.

It was funded by the military at a college level and was used by universities for research purposes. It wasn't really ever "given" to the public. Nor did it ever "go" public.

It just grew beyond the scope of university controlls.
 
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#12
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Because the monkeys and apes we have today weren't ready to lose a few IQ points.

If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?

Yes, there's just nobody around to tell him he's an idiot. Why the fuck would he be speaking to himself anyway?

Is there another word for synonym?

3 words: opposite of antonym.

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice?"

Almost as unnerving as a monkey having an intellegent conversation with a llama.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

The microwave oven.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

No

If God dropped acid, would he see people?

What the fuck do you think he was doing when he created people?

If you ate pasta and anti-pasta, would you still be hungry?

Hell if I know... never tried it.

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Proven yourself an idiot.

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

You can. Paintball guns.:cool:

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

Who the fuck said work was terrific? Jackass
.
 

BklynCannonball

pffffffffffttttttttttt...
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#13
UberSkippy said:
Uhhhh no, not exactly.

It was funded by the military at a college level and was used by universities for research purposes. It wasn't really ever "given" to the public. Nor did it ever "go" public.

It just grew beyond the scope of university controlls.
I was using the term loosely for lack of a better one.