WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Cereal Killers

GottaHurt

Sexual Deviant
1,591
0
0
#1
Part of a nutritious breakfast? Fuck that, eating cereal is like eating a bowl of air, it's a snack to be enjoyed with Saturday morning cartoons or Insomniac movie viewing. So don't try to tell me through some slick commercial, or bribe me with some fuckin' cheesy ass toy (the decoder rings rock) hidden at the fuckin' bottom of the box, covered in fuckin' dust, that it's part of a nutritious breakfast. My nuts have more vitamins and protein.

The majority of cereals are 90% fucking sugar, oh, excuse me, complex sugars or high fructose corn syrup, who the fuck dreams this shit up.
Fuckin' eh, Clark Griswald, the food additive dude from Vacation.
Then they put shit like BHT.BHT? WTF is BHT? A preservative they claim, WTF exactly are they preserving? You buy the shit, you eat it, you shit it out.
Pretty simple process if you ask me, what's to preserve? Oh, I hear your snotty little whiney punk ass, "it's to prolong shelf life", yea fuck you. Like Capt' Crunch is going to be hangin' out on the shelf for very long. The little bastard's gonna be floatin' in a bowl of milk and walkin' the plank into some rugrats mouth before he goes stale.

Grape Nuts. Who's fuckin' nightmare was this!!! MMMMMMM yea, I think I'll have a bowl of crushed rocks.The shit does not break down!!! It does not soften. It's good for traction on snow and ice, but to shovel down your gullet?
No thanks. Oh yea, and where the fucks the grapes? Some fiber eatin' health food faggot Post family member probably made a bad investment in a quarry, and decided to recoup his losses with this one.

Cheerios, are you kidding me? This cereal had to start out as a practical joke.
"Hey, what can we make with all this left over oat dust at the bottom of the grain elevator?" How 'bout nasty little O's that won't hold sugar, get soggy as fuck, and produce mouth farts an hour after you eat them.Ding Ding Ding, we have a fuckin' winner here.Finally someone in R&D stumbled onto a clue and made a Honey Nut variety, so now your mouth farts leave a pungent sweet after taste.

Life. Mikey likes it. Yea, well Mikey's a moron, and he looks like a pussy.

Lucky Charms, do away with the elf lookin' faggot and put a hottie on there.
She can be after "me lucky charms" all she wants then. This is Cheerios with a twist, bogus pastel marshmellows. Yea, I'll give you magically delicious, open your fuckin' mouth.

Cream of Buckwheat, might as well shoot a stick of hot glue down your throat.Wait an hour, double over in pain, then shit out an art project.
With milk, whole wheat toast and OJ, it can be part of a well balanced breakfast. Yea, fuck you.

Oatmeal, see above, only substitute school paste for hot glue.
The Quaker dude has got to go, sub him with a Quaker hottie.
I don't like the dude staring at me when I'm eatin' my cookies.

Bran Chex, they suck!!! If I'm constipated, I eat a Big Mac.
At least though you can make party mix, it's good when you're drunk.
Rice Chex are good, but the sugar floats through them to the bottom of the bowl. Where the fuck is R&D at?

When I'm in the mood for a nutritious breakfast, bacon eggs, hashbrowns, english muffins, pancakes, oj and milk are in order. Nutritious, nah, but fuckin' tasty as hell and probably makin' your lame ass hungry right about now!!!

When I'm wantin' a snack though, there ain't no substitue for those sweet little Capt'N Crunch Nuggets.....
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
2,301
52
112
#2
muhahahahahaha and thats all i can say that was great
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#3
GottaHurt said:
Part of a nutritious breakfast? Fuck that, eating cereal is like eating a bowl of air, it's a snack to be enjoyed with Saturday morning cartoons or Insomniac movie viewing. So don't try to tell me through some slick commercial, or bribe me with some fuckin' cheesy ass toy (the decoder rings rock) hidden at the fuckin' bottom of the box, covered in fuckin' dust, that it's part of a nutritious breakfast. My nuts have more vitamins and protein.

The majority of cereals are 90% fucking sugar, oh, excuse me, complex sugars or high fructose corn syrup, who the fuck dreams this shit up.
Fuckin' eh, Clark Griswald, the food additive dude from Vacation.
Then they put shit like BHT.BHT? WTF is BHT? A preservative they claim, WTF exactly are they preserving? You buy the shit, you eat it, you shit it out.
Pretty simple process if you ask me, what's to preserve? Oh, I hear your snotty little whiney punk ass, "it's to prolong shelf life", yea fuck you. Like Capt' Crunch is going to be hangin' out on the shelf for very long. The little bastard's gonna be floatin' in a bowl of milk and walkin' the plank into some rugrats mouth before he goes stale.

Grape Nuts. Who's fuckin' nightmare was this!!! MMMMMMM yea, I think I'll have a bowl of crushed rocks.The shit does not break down!!! It does not soften. It's good for traction on snow and ice, but to shovel down your gullet?
No thanks. Oh yea, and where the fucks the grapes? Some fiber eatin' health food faggot Post family member probably made a bad investment in a quarry, and decided to recoup his losses with this one.

Cheerios, are you kidding me? This cereal had to start out as a practical joke.
"Hey, what can we make with all this left over oat dust at the bottom of the grain elevator?" How 'bout nasty little O's that won't hold sugar, get soggy as fuck, and produce mouth farts an hour after you eat them.Ding Ding Ding, we have a fuckin' winner here.Finally someone in R&D stumbled onto a clue and made a Honey Nut variety, so now your mouth farts leave a pungent sweet after taste.

Life. Mikey likes it. Yea, well Mikey's a moron, and he looks like a pussy.

Lucky Charms, do away with the elf lookin' faggot and put a hottie on there.
She can be after "me lucky charms" all she wants then. This is Cheerios with a twist, bogus pastel marshmellows. Yea, I'll give you magically delicious, open your fuckin' mouth.

Cream of Buckwheat, might as well shoot a stick of hot glue down your throat.Wait an hour, double over in pain, then shit out an art project.
With milk, whole wheat toast and OJ, it can be part of a well balanced breakfast. Yea, fuck you.

Oatmeal, see above, only substitute school paste for hot glue.
The Quaker dude has got to go, sub him with a Quaker hottie.
I don't like the dude staring at me when I'm eatin' my cookies.

Bran Chex, they suck!!! If I'm constipated, I eat a Big Mac.
At least though you can make party mix, it's good when you're drunk.
Rice Chex are good, but the sugar floats through them to the bottom of the bowl. Where the fuck is R&D at?

When I'm in the mood for a nutritious breakfast, bacon eggs, hashbrowns, english muffins, pancakes, oj and milk are in order. Nutritious, nah, but fuckin' tasty as hell and probably makin' your lame ass hungry right about now!!!

When I'm wantin' a snack though, there ain't no substitue for those sweet little Capt'N Crunch Nuggets.....
Im just wondering how much thought you put into this... Cause I mean I live off of Special K, GrapeNuts and mmm Malt-o-Meal (its the best on cold days) You forgot pancakes are awsome too with sugar and strawberries on them... and baccon is kind of yucky... but muffins are nummy....
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#4
It's the "Cereal Control Plot" as planned by the Illuminati. Fnord. They're in everything and they control us with BHT.

Damn, that was funny! :thumbsup:
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
2,301
52
112
#5
ron said:
It's the "Cereal Control Plot" as planned by the Illuminati. Fnord. They're in everything and they control us with BHT.

Damn, that was funny! :thumbsup:
ok now i quit eating cereal forever
 

ron

Buster of Asses
963
0
0
#6
youknowthedeal said:
ok now i quit eating cereal forever
There. You should feel better in a few weeks. Don't worry aboutFnordthe hallucinations. They'll pass in time.

Now, go out and eat a proper, high-protein breakfast! Bacon, eggs, sausage, biscuits, gravy...Standard breakfast fare at Ron's House of Americana.
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
2,301
52
112
#7
ron said:
There. You should feel better in a few weeks. Don't worry aboutFnordthe hallucinations. They'll pass in time.

Now, go out and eat a proper, high-protein breakfast! Bacon, eggs, sausage, biscuits, gravy...Standard breakfast fare at Ron's House of Americana.
mcdonolds brakefast mmmmmmmmmmm... quite tasty
 

_Kitana_

Angel of Death
4,674
16
0
#8
ron said:
There. You should feel better in a few weeks. Don't worry aboutFnordthe hallucinations. They'll pass in time.

Now, go out and eat a proper, high-protein breakfast! Bacon, eggs, sausage, biscuits, gravy...Standard breakfast fare at Ron's House of Americana.

I love Biscuits and Gravy, i haven't had that since i left home...
 
11,055
399
382
#9
I agree... what people term "cereal" these days is all sugar, no protien, as was already said... they make chocolate cereal as well... wtf is up with that? how the fuck can chocolate be a part of any kind of breakfast? read the box... nutrition information "per 30 grams of cereal" 29 grams of sugar. "source of 0 essential nutrients." oh yeah, that's healthy shit your cramming into your mouth, timmy... keep eating that and you'll grow up to be... a big fatty who spends his time sitting in front of a computer 18 hours a day, sleeps the other 6. yep... that stuff kill brain cells, also.