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Chain letters...

11,074
726
382
#1
Finally someone has come to their senses and created this masterpiece.

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar and i am suffering from rare and
deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme Virginity, fear
of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution. And GUILT for
not forwarding out 50BILLION FUCKING CHAIN LETTERS sent to me by
people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6
year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead, will be able
to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to the travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that billgates/microsoft/intel is going to
give you and everyone you send 'his' email too $1000? HOW STUPID ARE
YOU?
Ooh, lookyhere! if i scroll down this page and make a wish, every
playboy model in the magazines will lay me. what a bunch of BuLlShIt.
So basically this message is a big FUCK U to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do then send me stupid chain mail
forwards.Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come to my house
and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain, which was
started by Jesus in A.D and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the mayflower, and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll
be in the guiness book of records forthe longest continuous streak of
blatant stupidity. FUCK THEM.
If you're going to forward something, at least send something that is
mildly amusing. i have seen all the emails saying,"send this to 50 of
your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
will somehow recieve a nickel from some omniscient being" about 90
times.
I DONT FUCKING CARE.
show a little intelligence and think about what it is you are actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. chances are, its your own
unpopularity.



The FOUR basic types of chainletters are:



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 1
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what i'll do. if you dont send
this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds you will be raped by a mad
goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. Its TRUE.
because THIS letter isnt like all those fake ones, this one is true!
REALLY! here's how it goes:
send this to one person and one person will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to two people and two people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to two-five people and two-five people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to five-ten people and five-ten people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter and may form a plot on your
life.
send this to ten-twenty people and ten-twenty people will be pissed
off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your
house.


THANKS! and good luck!



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 2


Hello, and thankyuo for reading this letter. you see there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatiaglooshen who has no arms, no
legs, no parents and no goats. This litte boys life could be saved
because for everytime you pass this on, $1 will be donated to the
'little starving, legless, armless, goatless boy from
Baklaliviatatiaglooshen fund'. Oh and remember, we have absolutely no
way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of
bullshit. so go on, reach out. send this to 5 people in the next
47seconds. oh and if you accidently send it to 4 or 6 people, you will
die instantly. thanks again.



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 3
hi there. his chain letter has beein in existence since 1897. this is
absolutely incredible since there was no email then and probably not
as many sad pricks with nothing better to do, so this is how it works.
pass this on to15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to u like:
BIZARRE HORROR STORY #1...Miranda pinsley was walking home from school
on a saturday. she had recently recieved this letter and ignored it.
she then tripped in a crack in the side walk, fell into a sewer, was
gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopy and went flying out over a
waterfall. not only did she smell nasty, she died. this could happen
to you.

OR

BIZARRE HORROR STORY #2...dexter bip, a 13 year old boy got a chain
letter in his mail and ignored it. later that day he was hit by a car
and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). they both
died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every
day for eternity. this could happen to you too.


remember that you could end up just like miranda and dexter. just send
this letter to every one of your loser friends and it will be ok.



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 4
as if you care, here is a poem i wrote. send it to all your friends.
FRIENDS
a friend is someone who is always at your side
a friend is some one who likes you even though you stink and your
breath smells like cat food.
a friend is someone who likes you even though you are as ugly as a hat
full of assholes.
a friend is someone who cleans you up after you have soiled yourself.
a friend is some one who pretends to like you when they reall think
you should be raped by wild goats and thrown to vicious dogs.
a friend is someone who sits with you all night why you cry about your
sad pathetic life.
a friend is someone who scrubs the toilet, vacuums abd gets the cheque
at the end and doesnt speak much english, wait no thats the cleaning
lady.
a friend is NOTsomeone who send you chain letter because they want
their wish of becoming rich and famous to come true.


now pass this on, if you dont you wont ever have sex again.


THE POINT BEING?
if you get some chain letter that is threatenning to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. if it is
funny, send it on.
dont piss people off by making them feel guilty about some leper in
botswana who has no teeth and has been tied to a dead elephant for 27
years whose only savior is the .5c per letter he will recieve if you
forward this mail.
RIGHT?
now forward this to everyone you know other wise you'll find all your
underwear missing in the morning.
 

Pachyderm

I really did.
802
0
0
#3
That is SOOOO great. I can't wait till my printer is working.. I'm definitely posting it in my Dorm!
 

Jung

???
Premium
13,998
2,267
487
#5
person99 said:
i dont like your sig. ur ignorant.
good way to make friends!

p.s. the post about kids wasn't anything short of ignorance.;)
did i mention welcome to the site?
 

Pachyderm

I really did.
802
0
0
#6
Well you know, he's only posted 3 times. He's still a youngin.. give him a break he doesn't know any better.
 

Jung

???
Premium
13,998
2,267
487
#7
being new to a forum and intelligence have nothing in common. i was mostly joking though.:)
 
#9
Unforgiven said:
Finally someone has come to their senses and created this masterpiece.

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar and i am suffering from rare and
deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme Virginity, fear
of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution. And GUILT for
not forwarding out 50BILLION FUCKING CHAIN LETTERS sent to me by
people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6
year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead, will be able
to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to the travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that billgates/microsoft/intel is going to
give you and everyone you send 'his' email too $1000? HOW STUPID ARE
YOU?
Ooh, lookyhere! if i scroll down this page and make a wish, every
playboy model in the magazines will lay me. what a bunch of BuLlShIt.
So basically this message is a big FUCK U to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do then send me stupid chain mail
forwards.Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come to my house
and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain, which was
started by Jesus in A.D and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the mayflower, and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll
be in the guiness book of records forthe longest continuous streak of
blatant stupidity. FUCK THEM.
If you're going to forward something, at least send something that is
mildly amusing. i have seen all the emails saying,"send this to 50 of
your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
will somehow recieve a nickel from some omniscient being" about 90
times.
I DONT FUCKING CARE.
show a little intelligence and think about what it is you are actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. chances are, its your own
unpopularity.



The FOUR basic types of chainletters are:



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 1
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what i'll do. if you dont send
this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds you will be raped by a mad
goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. Its TRUE.
because THIS letter isnt like all those fake ones, this one is true!
REALLY! here's how it goes:
send this to one person and one person will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to two people and two people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to two-five people and two-five people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to five-ten people and five-ten people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter and may form a plot on your
life.
send this to ten-twenty people and ten-twenty people will be pissed
off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your
house.


THANKS! and good luck!



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 2


Hello, and thankyuo for reading this letter. you see there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatiaglooshen who has no arms, no
legs, no parents and no goats. This litte boys life could be saved
because for everytime you pass this on, $1 will be donated to the
'little starving, legless, armless, goatless boy from
Baklaliviatatiaglooshen fund'. Oh and remember, we have absolutely no
way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of
bullshit. so go on, reach out. send this to 5 people in the next
47seconds. oh and if you accidently send it to 4 or 6 people, you will
die instantly. thanks again.



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 3
hi there. his chain letter has beein in existence since 1897. this is
absolutely incredible since there was no email then and probably not
as many sad pricks with nothing better to do, so this is how it works.
pass this on to15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to u like:
BIZARRE HORROR STORY #1...Miranda pinsley was walking home from school
on a saturday. she had recently recieved this letter and ignored it.
she then tripped in a crack in the side walk, fell into a sewer, was
gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopy and went flying out over a
waterfall. not only did she smell nasty, she died. this could happen
to you.

OR

BIZARRE HORROR STORY #2...dexter bip, a 13 year old boy got a chain
letter in his mail and ignored it. later that day he was hit by a car
and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). they both
died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every
day for eternity. this could happen to you too.


remember that you could end up just like miranda and dexter. just send
this letter to every one of your loser friends and it will be ok.



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 4
as if you care, here is a poem i wrote. send it to all your friends.
FRIENDS
a friend is someone who is always at your side
a friend is some one who likes you even though you stink and your
breath smells like cat food.
a friend is someone who likes you even though you are as ugly as a hat
full of assholes.
a friend is someone who cleans you up after you have soiled yourself.
a friend is some one who pretends to like you when they reall think
you should be raped by wild goats and thrown to vicious dogs.
a friend is someone who sits with you all night why you cry about your
sad pathetic life.
a friend is someone who scrubs the toilet, vacuums abd gets the cheque
at the end and doesnt speak much english, wait no thats the cleaning
lady.
a friend is NOTsomeone who send you chain letter because they want
their wish of becoming rich and famous to come true.


now pass this on, if you dont you wont ever have sex again.


THE POINT BEING?
if you get some chain letter that is threatenning to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. if it is
funny, send it on.
dont piss people off by making them feel guilty about some leper in
botswana who has no teeth and has been tied to a dead elephant for 27
years whose only savior is the .5c per letter he will recieve if you
forward this mail.
RIGHT?
now forward this to everyone you know other wise you'll find all your
underwear missing in the morning.
to be truthful, i dint read all of this. but some of what i read was funny. actually all of what i read was funny. good thread :thumbsup:
 

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
6,775
281
118
#10
This is espescially funny for me, because my mom sends me 3-4 chain emails daily.

I mean... what the hell is she doing at work all day that she has the time to do that?
 
#11
NoSubstance said:
This is espescially funny for me, because my mom sends me 3-4 chain emails daily.

I mean... what the hell is she doing at work all day that she has the time to do that?
your mom sends you chain letters?!?
 

Jung

???
Premium
13,998
2,267
487
#12
btw, nice post, i'll be sending this to all the chain mailing nazi's that assault me on a weekly basis. sadly i don't have the heart to block my computer unfriendly friends.
 
164
0
0
#13
Unforgiven said:
Finally someone has come to their senses and created this masterpiece.

Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar and i am suffering from rare and
deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme Virginity, fear
of being kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution. And GUILT for
not forwarding out 50BILLION FUCKING CHAIN LETTERS sent to me by
people who actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor 6
year old girl in Arkansas with a breast on her forehead, will be able
to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents
sell her to the travelling freak show.
Do you honestly believe that billgates/microsoft/intel is going to
give you and everyone you send 'his' email too $1000? HOW STUPID ARE
YOU?
Ooh, lookyhere! if i scroll down this page and make a wish, every
playboy model in the magazines will lay me. what a bunch of BuLlShIt.
So basically this message is a big FUCK U to all the people out there
who have nothing better to do then send me stupid chain mail
forwards.Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come to my house
and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain, which was
started by Jesus in A.D and was brought to this country by midget
pilgrims on the mayflower, and if it makes it to the year 2000, it'll
be in the guiness book of records forthe longest continuous streak of
blatant stupidity. FUCK THEM.
If you're going to forward something, at least send something that is
mildly amusing. i have seen all the emails saying,"send this to 50 of
your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being
will somehow recieve a nickel from some omniscient being" about 90
times.
I DONT FUCKING CARE.
show a little intelligence and think about what it is you are actually
contributing to by sending out forwards. chances are, its your own
unpopularity.



The FOUR basic types of chainletters are:



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 1
Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what i'll do. if you dont send
this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds you will be raped by a mad
goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. Its TRUE.
because THIS letter isnt like all those fake ones, this one is true!
REALLY! here's how it goes:
send this to one person and one person will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to two people and two people will be pissed off at you for
sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to two-five people and two-five people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
send this to five-ten people and five-ten people will be pissed off at
you for sending them a stupid chain letter and may form a plot on your
life.
send this to ten-twenty people and ten-twenty people will be pissed
off at you for sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your
house.


THANKS! and good luck!



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 2


Hello, and thankyuo for reading this letter. you see there is a
starving little boy in Baklaliviatatiaglooshen who has no arms, no
legs, no parents and no goats. This litte boys life could be saved
because for everytime you pass this on, $1 will be donated to the
'little starving, legless, armless, goatless boy from
Baklaliviatatiaglooshen fund'. Oh and remember, we have absolutely no
way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of
bullshit. so go on, reach out. send this to 5 people in the next
47seconds. oh and if you accidently send it to 4 or 6 people, you will
die instantly. thanks again.



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 3
hi there. his chain letter has beein in existence since 1897. this is
absolutely incredible since there was no email then and probably not
as many sad pricks with nothing better to do, so this is how it works.
pass this on to15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something
horrible will happen to u like:
BIZARRE HORROR STORY #1...Miranda pinsley was walking home from school
on a saturday. she had recently recieved this letter and ignored it.
she then tripped in a crack in the side walk, fell into a sewer, was
gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopy and went flying out over a
waterfall. not only did she smell nasty, she died. this could happen
to you.

OR

BIZARRE HORROR STORY #2...dexter bip, a 13 year old boy got a chain
letter in his mail and ignored it. later that day he was hit by a car
and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). they both
died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every
day for eternity. this could happen to you too.


remember that you could end up just like miranda and dexter. just send
this letter to every one of your loser friends and it will be ok.



CHAIN LETTER TYPE 4
as if you care, here is a poem i wrote. send it to all your friends.
FRIENDS
a friend is someone who is always at your side
a friend is some one who likes you even though you stink and your
breath smells like cat food.
a friend is someone who likes you even though you are as ugly as a hat
full of assholes.
a friend is someone who cleans you up after you have soiled yourself.
a friend is some one who pretends to like you when they reall think
you should be raped by wild goats and thrown to vicious dogs.
a friend is someone who sits with you all night why you cry about your
sad pathetic life.
a friend is someone who scrubs the toilet, vacuums abd gets the cheque
at the end and doesnt speak much english, wait no thats the cleaning
lady.
a friend is NOTsomeone who send you chain letter because they want
their wish of becoming rich and famous to come true.


now pass this on, if you dont you wont ever have sex again.


THE POINT BEING?
if you get some chain letter that is threatenning to leave you
shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. if it is
funny, send it on.
dont piss people off by making them feel guilty about some leper in
botswana who has no teeth and has been tied to a dead elephant for 27
years whose only savior is the .5c per letter he will recieve if you
forward this mail.
RIGHT?
now forward this to everyone you know other wise you'll find all your
underwear missing in the morning.

hahah i liked that so much i copied and pasted it and sent it to my friends,with luck they will all hate me...wait....they already do :kickcan:
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,959
8,161
487
#14
Chain letters are almost worse than spam because they prey upon the fears of the stupid to propagate. With the number of stupid people in the world today, a chain can spread exponentially.
 
#15
MaxPower said:
Chain letters are almost worse than spam because they prey upon the fears of the stupid to propagate. With the number of stupid people in the world today, a chain can spread exponentially.
also to greater elevations like, paying money or something like that. people need to stop being so supersticious. its an email, damnit! an email!!!!!
 

mariusthegreat

:: What Ebonics ::
916
0
80
#16
man..that was great...nothing like coming into work...loggin on to wtf.com and having a good laugh....nice thread
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,959
8,161
487
#17
Good to see you again Yucon. How bout those "Bumbles"
 

mariusthegreat

:: What Ebonics ::
916
0
80
#18
hehe..thanks....we just moved into a new house....as you all know...and fuckin cable service is still down....SBC will be hooking up the phone line today..so maybe ill have dial up...eh.....called up time warner...thursday will be as soon as theyll get to it..:/ so i guess ill just have to catch up while at work....God i love my job...
 

betrayed

Banned - What an Asshat!
1,782
1
0
#20
You seem like an angry person.. Hah just poking, I agree with you! :thumbsup: