Confessions of a Lunatic Lizard


So... come April I have a pending trial with fancy judge and all for "aggression against a cop" which is not even true but innocence is not the point.
I dont have a place to call home. I'm considering going back to my original country, yet the situation there is shit, violence, economical breakdown. I've got some old friend that could help me out, but i'd have to live in kinda shitty places where I might get shot who knows.
I dont feel self-pity, nor shame, nor pride. I'm kinda numb at this point. Yet I think life's worth a shot. Come 21st this month I'll get some money... around 1500 euros which translates to 1700 usd. And I want to leave this place. 1500 euro to start a new life. 1500 that I can possibly spend in hookers and cocaine on the first night then become lost, cause I do battle with impulsivity. 1500 euro. Where can that take me? 1500 euro to find something worthwhile, or to fail horribly. Sounds exciting to me.
I won't be able to come back once i leave, because taking that money would mean im not paying debts, which means problems.
I had a conversation with a friend just now who said anarchism is dead, "change your political stance, that one won't lead anywhere". Its true, yet because im an anarchist I cant allow myself to pay a judge and face a joke trial. "One month in jail where you are is better than coming back to this country".
Nice situation I got myself into. I'm no criminal, nor am i crazy, yet i am kinda lunatic and prone to illegality. It's that I dont fit in this world. My crazy and my "crime" is just a symptom of my failure to adapt here. I cant adapt, I rather try change the world than change myself. That means im bound to lose. So 1500 euros, to give it a shot again. To face Goliath.


Rey de Currumpaw
The whole world is shit. Find a corner an put your stank on it.

Run, or don't.

But, regardless, society will push you away because you don't want to be a part of it.

Anarchism IS pretty dumb. Try Liberty instead.


I assume you moved to the country where you are now to "start a new life". It sounds like you have had a rocky start. I do not know what (obviously European) country you are in, but I would not know the laws there anyway. Here in the good ol' U. S. of A. ( :rolleyes: ), they would not (or should not) let you out on bail if you do not have a place to stay. If you run, it would be considered "bail jumping" which is itself a crime. If you run, you may never be able to return to the country where you are now without being arrested again and facing more charges. Maybe you should spend that 1500 Euros on a defense attorney. Judges respect and listen to attorneys far more than accused criminals. Tell the judge you are sorry and that you did not know you were being "aggressive towards a cop". Tell the judge the sad story that you may be killed if you were sent back to your country of origin, because of the situation there.


Hey mothers and fuckers of the jury, I'm back!
Update on situation: I took a flight to Catalunya (part of Spain but they have their own language and culture and want independence). Stayed a few nights in Barcelona where I spent all my money on hookers and drugs (had that coming).
So broke I found an anarchist comune in a near city. Spent some weeks there, started running, doing physical work on the land, meeting people, going out, eating healthy.
I then met a guy who has recently squatted a 7 floor building in the center and moved in. Within the building I forced a door next to a beautiful terrace and found a whole apartment inside. That's my new home. I feel free and positive. April comes the trial but couldn't give less fucks. I feel like I'm a part of a cool project now. We're gonna grow vegetables (urban farming) on the terraces, create a cultural social venue. I'ma find some job, already volunteering in some local projects. Wow so much stuff happening. Meeting such amazing people of course much of the time I'm alone in the house or walking around but slowly i'ma build something here.


So good to be back and of course if anyone feels stuck you are more than welcome to reach out and who knows maybe you can join the project.

Much love and rebel!