WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Corona Virus

MisterFister

There's a very good chance that I don't care.
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So I'm wheeling out my cart full of toilet paper from the local Meijer and this little old lady stops me and says "Sir, I believe you took the last of that". To which I responded "Indeed I did". Then she goes into this long song and dance about fixed income and dead husband World War 2 blah blah blah and finally says "May I have one?" Me being the giving soul that I am I offered a 4-roll pack of two-ply for the low low price of $37 (I knocked $3 off my planned Facebook Marketplace price because I gave her the benefit of the doubt that her useless dead husband didn't actually kill any Nazis). She appeared a bit shocked and I'm pretty sure an audible 'click' came from her dentures unlatching from their fourteen day Poly-Grip hold as she began to sift threw her moderately adorned change purse. Being that everyone has places to go and people to see I respectfully said "C'mon lady I ain't got all day". This is when the old bag informed me that there is a high likelihood that she doesn't have the scratch. How irritating is that? You try and do a good deed and this is the thanks you get. Anywho, once my irritation subsided a bit (mostly because the "Hot Pretzels" sign caught my eye) I considered some kind of amicable negotiation. Of course there were no IRA's or gold teeth from some long dead Jewish mother so I engaged the creative side of the brain. I'm talking GGILF. Saw it once in passing on the Pornhubs and thought "Eh, wouldn't hurt to try" It's always been a bucket list kind of item. So after I presented the offer and her face returned from bewilderment she agreed. So I wheel my cart full of goodies to the self checkout (ALWAYS use the self-checkout. You can short swipe the machine and if caught just act dumb "oopsies" *blush*. Plus their use increases the unemployment rate of all those overweight cashiers with double chins and bad ink). Let Darwin sort 'em out.

So eventually I get the waddling old bag out to my F-350 and only then did I realize there might be a bit of a logistics issue. I mean, I'm more than happy with the anticipation of crossing off another bucket list item but I'd prefer not the do it at the cost of me blowing out a knee or her breaking a hip. I decided that camera over there has a pretty sharp pitch to the right so I gambled on the angle and just bent her over behind an open door. That was the moment I learned why she was so desperately pursuing my bag of Angel Soft. Damn near killed the mood. I mean of course it didn't because I ain't no pussy I'm just saying it was close.

I guess the point in me telling you this story is to reassure you that you just need to keep your head up. Every cloud has a silver lining and some good things (beyond killing the weak and feeble) can come from this pandemic. Best of luck to you and if you need any Purell shoot me a DM.
 
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pissed 'n horny

Preferred Parking
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I've been waiting on the covid thread.
This being the thread I got, I feel a bit like a child who asked for a modest used car for her sweet sixteen and instead got a rebuilt Mercedes. The price was good but there was water damage that no one noticed.
Who else misses JLXC in these trying times?
 

CoprophagousCop

Social Distancing Warrior
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If this had been posted in any other forum than Entertainment Avenue, I would have given it a HUGE face palm. I am glad to see it was posted here.

Also, I do not get why people are buying so much toilet paper.
Have they not been using it all this time!?
Or do they think they can keep the corona virus at bay by :jerk:?


@MisterFister : You nasty!
 
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BeautifulSniper

Lovely and deadly
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Also, I do not get why people are buying so much toilet paper.
I have no fucking idea. The stores are full of food and hygiene products, but the TP and paper towel section is completely raided. I can't even find any source as to why people are thinking like this. Nobody I've seen online or real life can figure this out, but it's happening. Society is just retarded I guess.
 

Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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Modelovirus trumps the Coronavirus. FYI.
Yuengling Lord Chesterfield Ale trumps them all.

Also ...

Tomorrow we start having Senior Citizens Hour from 6-7 in the morning. This is something that just happened within the last day, so it's last minute planning. They want the salad bar set up. They want someone there to slice lunchmeat. They want rotisserie chickens and fried chicken. They want the meat and seafood service case set up. We have to have meat on the shelves, even though we've been coming in to empty shelves everyday. Dairy, which is also struggling, needs to have milk and eggs on the shelf. There needs to be bread on the shelf. Most of this is due to common and basic needs but also from customer inquiries.

A bunch of us are going in at 4 or 5 in the morning to get ready for this. And this isn't just for tomorrow but the foreseeable future. EVERY Morning. I'm thinking we might get somewhat stampeded by the old folks. Too early in the morning for that shit. Some of them are going to be cranky and miserable. Some of them might be gracious and thankful and God Bless Us. I don't know. I'll be there with a smile on for anyone who deserves it, as always.

*update: The parking lot was half full at 6:00. It was busy. There was actually a decent amount of toilet paper on the shelf but the old folks bought it all. LOL
 
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Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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Our warehouse truck isn't getting there early enough for us to break it down and get product on the shelf by 6:00 but we do what we can. This morning, I had ground beef to put on the shelf at 6:15. They're looking at me with smiles and I'm looking at them politely like 'If you don't get the fuck out of my way, I can't put this ground beef on the shelf.' Some ignorant bitch walked up to the dolly of ground beef and I pulled it away from her. They got the hint, sort of. That ignorant bitch and one or two other ignorant people tried to reach into my space, so I started throwing elbows and taking wide motions. I was in beast mode and quick about it. Let me do what I need to do and then you can have at it.

Starting tomorrow, everyone gets a temporary $2/hour pay bump. I think that's fair. Those of us who show up for work everyday get an added bonus. Those who don't, well fuck them.
 

MisterFister

There's a very good chance that I don't care.
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Our warehouse truck isn't getting there early enough for us to break it down and get product on the shelf by 6:00 but we do what we can. This morning, I had ground beef to put on the shelf at 6:15. They're looking at me with smiles and I'm looking at them politely like 'If you don't get the fuck out of my way, I can't put this ground beef on the shelf.' Some ignorant bitch walked up to the dolly of ground beef and I pulled it away from her. They got the hint, sort of. That ignorant bitch and one or two other ignorant people tried to reach into my space, so I started throwing elbows and taking wide motions. I was in beast mode and quick about it. Let me do what I need to do and then you can have at it.

Starting tomorrow, everyone gets a temporary $2/hour pay bump. I think that's fair. Those of us who show up for work everyday get an added bonus. Those who don't, well fuck them.
People will fistfight over toilet paper. Imagine what they'll do over a can of soup.

 

Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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random thought: always remember to take your boxcutter with you. In case you want to cut off someone's face and wear it as a mask. LOL

I need some music to sooth my soul.