Leta said:
The man in the cubicle behind me constantly yells across the room at a co-worker. This man will not get up, walk a few feet and speak quietly. He's always calling people over to his cubicle. Lazy turd!
You only have three options really:
1.) Get a better job.
2.) Projectile fart on said "yeller," then tell everyone he's a stink ass.
3.) Record him speaking for a few weeks, at least long enough to make custom messages from your recordings. With that done, then play these, hopefully rude or retarded sounding, messages out loud for all to hear.