Curse. Tell jokes. Just forget about how much life sucks.

E

extremepilot

Go jerk off or something
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Curse. Flame. Tell jokes. Just forget about how much your life sucks.
Say funny stuff. That helps me.
I'll start with a fucked up joke.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a jar full of money on the counter barman thingy. He asks the barman what the jar is for and the barman tell him...
"you can try and make my horse laugh for $20. If you fail, I keep the $20. If you succseed, you will get all the money in the jar (and that is a LOT).
So the guy goes for it. The barman shows him where his horse is. The comes back 10 minutes later and says "Youre horse wont stop lauging." So the barman goes to the horse and sees that its true, the horse if fucking cracking up! Hes not sad anymore.

A month later same guy comes back to the bar. Sees a jar full of money again. Blah blah blah and shit. My horse wont stop lauging! $20 if you make him cry. So the guy goes and comes back 10 minutes later, the horse if crying like a baby, hes fuckin sad!
So the barman says: How did you do that?"
amd the guy goes
"Well, to make him cry I told him my penis waz bigger than his. To make him laugh I showed him."
Fuckin funny (NOT). :ugly:
The most knows joke on the planet.
Flame/spam/cry/complain/joke away.
 
B

Black Flame

Mayhem on the Loose
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ahh i gotta tell my fav joke. it's a nasty one though, nyahaha. okay..
little jimmy came running home from school one day and scuttled up to his father very excited. he said, "dad! i heard these kids at school talking about something called a vagina... dad... what is a vagina.. and what does it look like?" the father pulls down his newspaper and peers down at his son through the smoke from his pipe and said, "well son, before sex... a vagina looks like a blossoming flower!" the boy's eyes lit up and he said, "wow dad! what about after sex?" the father took a long puff from his pipe, leaned back in his chair and said, "well son... have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
it gets me many laughs when i tell that one... either that or a lot of disgusted people who then hate me.. which is also a great reaction! it helps to gross people out when yer pissed.. that or inflict pain on others =D. hahaha, j/k.. maybe.
 
Icarus

Icarus

(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻
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Unforgiven said:
^^ change your avatar. it annoys me.

kthxbye
Click to expand...

On a forum I used to frequent, posters would impersonate each other for laughs (steal avatars, signatures, etc). The best part was, one could change their username (kind of like spend rep points to do it), so if somebody wanted to impersonate me, they'd make themselves "OnASubstance" and steal everything about me.

It actually was a lot of fun...

Oh, and the best (worst) joke ever follows:

"A pirate walks in to a bar. He's got a steering wheel on his pants, but seems to think nothing of it. He walks up to the bartender and says 'What's on tap?' The bartender replies 'Rum. Did you know that you have a steering wheel on your pants?'

The pirate gives the bartender a knowing look and says 'Aye, it's driving me nuts!'"
 
dustinzgirl

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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uh...we already have a joke thread. it is in entertainment. life sucks because there are stupid people in the world.
 
Unforgiven

Unforgiven

That Guy
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dustinzgirl said:
uh...we already have a joke thread. it is in entertainment. life sucks because there are stupid people in the world.
Click to expand...

*points at self*

yep... like me :)
 
H

Hypertron

Asshole of the Year
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This boy and his grandfather were out on a boat one day and his grandfather was drinking a beer and the boy says,
"hey grandpa, can i have a drink"
and the old man said,
"well can your dick touch your ass hole?", to which the boy replys,
"no it can't" so the old man replys,
"Well when it can your a man and when your a man you can."
Afew days later they were out on the boat again and his grandfather was puffin on a cigar and the boy says,
"hey grandpa, can i have a puff"
and the old man says,
"well can your dick touch your ass hole?", and the boy says,
"we have been over this before, no it can't", so the old man says,
"well when it can your a man and when your a man you can."
Afew days later they were at a family reunion and the boy was eating a cookie and his grandfather walk up and says,
"hey can i have a bite of that"
the boy then gets a huge smile on his face and says,
"Well can your dick touch your ass hole?", and the old man says,
"HELL YEAH IT CAN"
by this time the boy is cracking up and says,
"Well you can go fuck yourself old man cuz this is my god damn cookie!"

god i love that one...
 
S

Shurikane

Raging Hermaphrodite
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What should you do if your girlfriend starts to smoke?














Slow down the pace and buy some lubricant.
 
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