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Damn Indian Fortunetellers!!

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#1
Lately my store is plagued by Indian wandering fortunetellers. They're basically beggars, but ten times as annoying.
At an average of two times a week they come in and try to grab your arm to read your palm. Then beg for money "give from good heart for good karma!"
When I chase them away saying "I kicked your other fortunetelling buddies out, so why the fuck should I not do the same to you?!" they just go "but, I am much more skillfull!" as if I was implying that I might be the least bit interested in their crap. I already have my mother at home trying to read my horoscope as soon as I step through the door!

If you had any skill whatsoever you'd have a fucking job!

Gawds, I really should hang a sign on the door saying "Will shoot psychics and burn what's left."
 

Give u Cancer

Orggh... poo mah pants...
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#2
If their not alowed to do that, call the cops. Or get some mace.
 

BakEd13

4:20 Celebrater
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#4
Here is what you do: 1. Go buy a shotgun. 2. Post on the door "Employees have been trained to use deadly force against wondering fortunetellers." 3. Next time one comes in, kill them. :sword:

Or you could just break their wrists.. ^^^ :cool:
 

Banninator

Life is MY bitch
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#5
well, im not old enough to get a job yet but im gonna say that that sux ass and i would put some sentry guns in front of your store lol. Then when they come it will say "state your profession" and if they say indian fortune teller it will blow them away. :D
 

shep

Local alcoholic
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#7
I don't know bout you but a good beating/pummeling with steel toed boot's would work just fine. :mfinger:
 

El_Negro

The ***** on the corner..
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#8
Do you people have no feeling for these poor souls? Clearly those people are lost and trying to con Americans into splurging on nothing important. Next time one enters the store, give them a hug... :hshake:
WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?!!
I GLADLY GRANT YOU THE GOD-GIVEN GRACIOUS RIGHT TO PROCEED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EVERY DAMN GYPSY AND FORTUNE TELLER YOU FUCKING SEE!!
:sfork: :mad: :cbone: :ugly:
 

Broken

Member smoked too much weed!
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#9
gumercules said:
or learn how to break their wrists.. it's quite easy
Nothing is worse than a ninja pirate.
 

otepsoul

Bringer of Bees
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#12
or be like look theres a dollar on the street then lock the door.
 
#13
i say that u should just get a knife and stab them in the fucking face....then tell them to leave and to have a nice day.... :sword: :sword: :D..........ohhh dont forget to smile while u do all of that
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
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#14
get one of thoes NO SLOICITORS stickers ind put it on your door
 
#15
errr how would that help and btw I would suggest a ninja pirate hiring store to hire ninja pirates, or the web, u can get anything on the web
 

Give u Cancer

Orggh... poo mah pants...
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#16
cut off their arm with a rusty saw and feast upon it while you have trained dogs bite at their reproductive organs
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
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#17
Fred said:
errr how would that help
then u call the cops on them for soliticing
and they goto jail, where they cant get out because they dont have a green card
 

DJ_Arashi

Flame Bait
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#18
No Lower Jaw For You

There's but one simple way to get someone to shut the hell up: rip off their lower jaw. Use a crowbar, use a pair of pliers, just rip the jaw right off its hinges, and voila! You have less talking, more throaty screams of pain. Did I mention the screams of pain? :sword: :fskull:
 
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#19
ask them what your name is... if they can't tell you, they are a fraud... use any or all of the methods mentioned above.
 
#20
Or Else They're Frauds!

Whatever you do to them - regardless of how anti-social, insensitive, graphic, criminal, etc. - remember that these folks should have seen it coming, being fortune-tellers and all that.