WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Deadlock

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#1
It hasn't been long since the last colossal rant I put in(this one probably won't be as big), but I feel I have to say something.

My opinions on everything change depending on my mood. I don't know if this is normal for all humans or what, but it's annoying to say the least. I've been sitting here thinking "You know what. Fuck school. Teachers, administrators, and society doesn't care whether or not I do well. It wouldn't matter if I gave in to their requirements just so it would look better on their resumes because if I got a job worth a shit, I would live with the reality if I got fired, the company wouldn't be hurt at all because they could hire someone with the same qualifications in an instant and not care about whether or not the person does a good job, as long as that person shows up to work and at least pretends to do something." But at the same time, I'm thinking "Maybe if it doesn't matter what happens, then it won't matter if I fuck up. I could try and move on if something doesn't work and make a decent living for myself and live a happy life." But then I'll go back and think "It doesn't matter if I live a happy life because I'll die with nothing and I'll die a nobody. I am nobody. What's the point of trying if you're nobody? Everybody else won't notice because they're nobodies as well trying to cope with their nothing existence. We're all nobody and yet some people think it actually matters if they're happy even though nobody cares, yet society as a whole is supposed to functioning on caring. People can put on their false smiles and give their false gratitude, but at the end of the day people are just trying to make themselves look like heroes to total strangers in order to give them some kind of power which they don't actually have because when they die, they won't have any kind of power." But then again "If there's nothing after life, then what power you have in life is important whether you have it for yourself or over others. What you do to make you happy doesn't matter as long as it doesn't make other people mad or sad."

It goes the same with what I want to do in the future too. One minute it's "I can't do this for the rest of my life, this is depressing, I need to go to school", then it's "I need to get a new job that will make me money, I know if I go to school I'll just fail it" then it's "Fuck a new job, I can't get one because nobody's going to hire me because I don't have experience with what they have and I don't need money anyway."

I can't make up my mind on anything. I end up overanalyzing every little aspect of life and leave myself paralyzed. And unfortunately, what decisions I do make don't turn out for the better because I'm never in a good enough mood to make it significantly better than my really crappy moods. I just end up doing nothing and pissing away all my days being nocturnal. I know I have to get up off my ass and make a difference but then I realize it doesn't make a difference whether or not my life is good because I still have nobody in my life who I can rely on to listen to me and respect me as a human being. All that being alone all the time gives me the perception that everyone's out having fun all the time and living a great life, when in reality, people probably aren't. They're probably sitting at home doing the same fucking thing I am most of the time, which is not a god damn thing. Watching some bullshit TV show or fiddling with a controller in their hands, or maybe plugging away at their keyboards. So if that's the case, then why not talk to me? I'll talk to you. Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot. I hate you because you won't talk to me.

THE CIRCLE NEVER ENDS. FUCK EVERYTHING.

But it must end since some people get out of it...

FUCKING SHIT
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
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#2
Any truly meaningful response I can come up with for this belongs in BnT, so forget it. -_-;
 
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#3
You might as well just say it. If laying it on heavy is your method of giving advice, I don't give a fuck. I didn't exactly start this thread looking for negative replies, but if it's all you've got and you feel you have to say it, then go ahead. It's not like it's stopped countless other people in the past.
 

OmegaZeto

Eyeless Pilot
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#4
Nah man, it's all good... My days of flaming outside BnT are over.

However, during the time between my previous post and this one, I've had time to come up with something POSITIVE to say...

Overanalyzing parts of your life and therefore paralyzing yourself happens to a LOT of people, myself included. When it happens to me, my wife thinks I'm sad or angry, giving her the silent treatment, when that's not my intention at all. It only makes things worse that she takes it the wrong way.
I call it "thinking things over", and while I encourage people to "think things over" more often, sometimes it can lead to over-analyzing yourself and your situation. That's when you need to find some good people to be cool to and remind you of how nice and awesome you are. There's nothing wrong with that.
 
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#5
A lot of times people like that aren't around...but I have no attention span. That's another story altogether though. Patience is a good thing. Probably something I should try to work on having more of. It does suck when people either have a tendency to flake on you, not be in the mood to hang out at the same time as you, or don't want to do anything but get fucked up.
 

Easty

Click click boom
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#7
The only thing I can say to this is that post could've been shortened to about 5 sentences and keep it's initial purpose. Also, life is easy. Really, it is. People make it hard.