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does he mean it?

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dolor ex fides
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#1
I dated this guy a while back. We broke up for odd reasons, but remained friends. Then we kept "accidentally" sleeping together. Then I moved to another city, but close enough to visit, which I do, on a regular basis. Every once in a while, we end up sleeping together again.

I hate my job; I hate where I live. These things make me depressed. He has suffered from depression himself, and says that he can't be with a person who's always negative. He still says he's very into me, and thinks about me a lot (I made the mistake of telling him I was in love with him).

Here's the question: he said to me that he'd really considered getting back together, but it was probably a bad idea for both of us. He said when I get out of my shitty situation and start getting my life in order - "we'll talk about dating again."

Talk about it? Does that mean he wants to be with me in the future, or is it a gentle letdown so he can continue to hang out with me and have sex every once in a while?
 

Insanitee

I know where you live!
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Hey iv'e been in a simmilar situation. If he is telling the truth then maybe it's because he really cares about you and only want's to be the best he can for you. As a guy it's tough to be around a girl you really like when shit just isn't working out. You need to talk to him about this, not post here. Any answer you get to this question...

" Does that mean he wants to be with me in the future, or is it a gentle letdown so he can continue to hang out with me and have sex every once in a while?"

...doesn't really mean anything because we dont know the full story.

Talk to him now, not later. If he's worth being with, he'll be honest with u and you should be able to sort things out.


;)
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
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#3
my wife and I had several break up periods early on in the relationship. It is possible to get back together. He may very well be serious, he's just telling you that if all you ever do when you are with him is bitch and moan about life, he's not into that. Try having some fun with him, it can work wonders. Good luck.
 

Bitch

Evil Fluffy says: I PEE IN YOUR SHOES!
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#4
JLXC is right. you can get back together and you can work things out. it sounds like he wants to put the ball in your court. If you want to get back together with him, he's up for a second try. But like he said he doesn't want a lot of negativity around him. Maybe instead of talking about how bad your day was to him, find a friend to listen to that. If you want help like advice on what to do about something, maybe ask him if he'd like to help. If he's in an obviously down mood that day, don't ask him anything that could be negative in nature. That's why it's good to have a friend to dump this stuff on so you don't have to walk on eggshells around someone else. You need to let some of your negativity go elsewhere. Try doing activities with him that might cheer both of you up. You can try movies, dinner, park activities... Don't just have sex either. That will get boring if that's all you do.

It sounds like he does care about you. He may need the affection right now from someone that cares for him. It's not using you or anythign but it sounds like he's counting on you as his friend and hopefully girlfriend. He needs to feel wanted and needed but someone that does care. He's asking for that. You may need to put your feelings asside during this. It sounds like your problems can be discussed with a different person other than him. That might be enough to cheer you up by talking to a friend, but just not him. Talk about the good stuff in your day. Ask him to talk about his and try to get him to discuss something good that happened to him recently when he's feeling down so you don't ge depressed. Well good luck. Going out with someone depressed is not easy, but it sounds liek the two of you still care for each other but just need to focus both your negative energies elsewhere.
 

bombchu

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#5
I agree with what everyone is saying here, but if you are worried about his just taking advantage of you for sex (which could very well be what he is doing simply because he has a dick) then see how things are when you turn the sex off.

I think that would be a good test to see his true motives/what he wants out of the relationship.
 

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dolor ex fides
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#6
I haven't really come to this site much over the last few months, largely because I got tired of all the petty bickering that occurs with frightening predictability. But here it happened. I posted on a subject that I wanted some good unbiased feedback on. And that's precisely what I got.

So, what I'm saying here is; thanks guys. You've raised my opinion of this forum. And I wanted to say that before anyone decided to use this thread as their own personal litterbox. (hey I'm grateful; not blind to the inevitable)

[/banality]
 

YUCK FOU!!!

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#7
well, i find myself agreeing with everyone on here, he could very well be telling the truth, just make this your goal it should help you get out of the deppression.