WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

Don't forget these points before you vote.

Status
Not open for further replies.

Broken

Member smoked too much weed!
3,891
0
0
#1
I will vote for ANY CANDIDATE that can promise to make these things happen.

1) I don’t want to pay the postage on my tax return ever again! It is too much to ask that I pay lower or even NO taxes, but it is well within my rights to ask that I don’t have to pay for the postage on my tax return. “

2) I want to make English the official language of the United States and pass a law requiring all citizens to become proficient in its use, especially if you have ANY type of job where you‘ll interact with real people. I’m all for respecting other people’s varied and beautiful cultures, living in the melting pot, and blah blah blah! If you want to preserve your culture, preserve it in ENGLISH! I’m tired of trying to order a burger and needing a damn interpreter. If I moved to Japan, I’d be EXPECTED to learn Japanese. If I lived in Mexico I’d have to learn Spanish. If I lived in England - well, I’d have to speak English. Bad example. Why not create a NEW form of English called American English. Think of the jobs you could create. We’d need language teachers, a new dictionary, new text books . . . Why, this could save this country from ruin. What can be MORE patriotic and “Uh-Murican” then having our own language? Make it so, Number One!

3) I would like to see “In God We Trust” removed from our money. We don’t trust anybody in this country and God shouldn‘t get a pass. That damned phrase wasn’t always on our cash because we understood what it meant to separate church and state. The churches want that phrase on our money but that’s because THEY DON’T PAY TAXES! If the churches want to start paying some of their money in taxes then I’ll let the removal of the offensive phrase slide. Besides, some of us don’t trust God at all. God allowed 9/11, 8 Track tapes, disco music & Beanie Babies to happen. I can’t keep on trusting this guy! Apparently all I can trust God to do is provide great athletic performances and let Mariah Carey win Grammy Awards. Removing the phrase will honor the Constitution AND piss off Jerry Falwell. A win/win situation, I’d say.

4) The Chicago Cubs, any texas team MUST win the World Series once before I die. Use all means necessary even if it means invading New York, Atlanta or Florida. That’s all I have to say about that.

5) I want a law requiring all political candidates to remove each and every damned campaign sign from every sign post, alley wall, lawn and billboard within two weeks after an election is held. I’m STILL finding places with tattered “Dukakis for President” signs. You made the mess, you clean it up!

6) I want to be able to fire government employees - ALL government employees - whenever they are not doing their jobs. There’s a great little perk to a cushy government job in the U.S.. That perk: it is nearly impossible for a person to lose their job, even due to gross incompetence. There is no consequence for failure or inefficiency. Theoretically, a Postal worker could crap on the counter at the Post Office while giving me my change and that guy would still have a job the next day. This is a total crock! It provides all government employees an excuse to do their job poorly and it throws out the concept of accountability. Take away this silly clause for everyone from the guy who delivers my mail to the highest office in the land & you will have a vote from me.

7) If you can find a way to make Renaissance Fairs, Civil War reenactments, and Carrot Top movies illegal that would be appreciated.

The last three all pertain to voting and the ballots used to vote.

Find the cash, give it to the states, and make it possible for all 50 states to use the exact same ballots, the exact same voting machines, and the exact same voting procedures. Make the process simple, the ballots easy to read (and RE-READ IF NECESSARY), and make our country follow one simple set of rules. While you’re at it, the machines and ballots must be made by a politically independent company. If you want to fix your elections in Florida or anywhere else, do it the old fashioned way: kill dissenting voters & intimidate other voters into your way of thinking. If you can’t do this simple little thing then you have no choice but to ban Florida from the Union and disallow all votes cast by the feeble-minded or the elderly. This should prevent both George Bushes, and 80% of Florida, from fucking up the election again.

9) When making those ballots be sure to include a “None of the Above” option. There are emergency procedures in place for when an elected official dies, becomes incapacitated, gets a cold, etc. Create a system that will allow for a temporary, or even the incumbent, official to run things while suitable, BETTER candidates can come out and gain the public’s trust. It is insulting to everyone involved that we have been stuck with having to vote AGAINST someone as opposed to voting FOR someone for so many years. If we don’t like the idiots on the ballot, what better way to express the COUNTRY’S opinion then to display a mandate for change like a whopping “None of the Above” winner? Suck on that, Electoral College!

10) Finally, we MUST outlaw the straight party ticket voting. For those unfamiliar with this, straight party ticket voting is where a voter need only punch one button or make one single selection to vote for all the candidates in one specific party. Since the U.S. really only acknowledges two parties, this means that you can vote for everyone in the Republican or Democratic party with one stroke of a pen. I suppose if all businesses are required by law to give employees one hour out of the day to vote, then we have the right to maximize our time away from the office.

Straight party voting is, quite simply, for slothful morons . If you don’t have the time to learn a little about all the candidates in order to make an informed vote and guarantee that the most qualified person gets the job, then you don’t deserve to live in the good old U.S. of A. Straight party voting assumes that Americans are ignorant and stupid. Sadly, it appears that we are because many people take advantage of this voting feature, making a mockery of the precious vote we are all promised in a democracy.

People who blindly back a political party have no concern for the wants and needs of the people in the country. Folks who use this voting option care nothing about the advancement and betterment of the country as a whole. They simply want their team to win. This team mentality, while fine if watching baseball or NASCAR races, cripples the country, and those who put the party before the people should be ashamed of their lazy simpleton actions.

As I’ve stated in the past I don’t like to discuss politics because of how many people don’t allow for dissenting opinion. They discount your beliefs in order to bolster their own fragile egos. They make folks who are hoping to make the world a better place feel uncomfortable and sorry for engaging in casual talk about important things. Mostly, they make blanket statements about how things would be if so-and-so won any given election, even though there‘s NO WAY to prove their statement. Well I’d like to make an impossible statement of my own. Even though it cannot be proven I am confident that it is completely true.
 

breakology

Kiss my Converse
1,890
4
102
#2
9) When making those ballots be sure to include a “None of the Above” option.

10) Finally, we MUST outlaw the straight party ticket voting.
I'm down!
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#4
12) Eliminate the current "return to society" program for pedophiles. Instead, lock them all up together, forever. Or just kill them.


4) The Chicago Cubs, any texas team MUST win the World Series once before I die. Use all means necessary even if it means invading New York, Atlanta or Florida. That’s all I have to say about that.
oh, yeah, that is a policy maker.....
 

$hwing

Banned - What an Asshat!
9
0
0
#5
Im waiting for some idiot to quote his entire post so they can refer to it directly. :offtopic:
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,850
3,349
487
#6
Broken said:
I will vote for ANY CANDIDATE that can promise to make these things happen.

1) I don’t want to pay the postage on my tax return ever again! It is too much to ask that I pay lower or even NO taxes, but it is well within my rights to ask that I don’t have to pay for the postage on my tax return. “

2) I want to make English the official language of the United States and pass a law requiring all citizens to become proficient in its use, especially if you have ANY type of job where you‘ll interact with real people. I’m all for respecting other people’s varied and beautiful cultures, living in the melting pot, and blah blah blah! If you want to preserve your culture, preserve it in ENGLISH! I’m tired of trying to order a burger and needing a damn interpreter. If I moved to Japan, I’d be EXPECTED to learn Japanese. If I lived in Mexico I’d have to learn Spanish. If I lived in England - well, I’d have to speak English. Bad example. Why not create a NEW form of English called American English. Think of the jobs you could create. We’d need language teachers, a new dictionary, new text books . . . Why, this could save this country from ruin. What can be MORE patriotic and “Uh-Murican” then having our own language? Make it so, Number One!

3) I would like to see “In God We Trust” removed from our money. We don’t trust anybody in this country and God shouldn‘t get a pass. That damned phrase wasn’t always on our cash because we understood what it meant to separate church and state. The churches want that phrase on our money but that’s because THEY DON’T PAY TAXES! If the churches want to start paying some of their money in taxes then I’ll let the removal of the offensive phrase slide. Besides, some of us don’t trust God at all. God allowed 9/11, 8 Track tapes, disco music & Beanie Babies to happen. I can’t keep on trusting this guy! Apparently all I can trust God to do is provide great athletic performances and let Mariah Carey win Grammy Awards. Removing the phrase will honor the Constitution AND piss off Jerry Falwell. A win/win situation, I’d say.

4) The Chicago Cubs, any texas team MUST win the World Series once before I die. Use all means necessary even if it means invading New York, Atlanta or Florida. That’s all I have to say about that.

5) I want a law requiring all political candidates to remove each and every damned campaign sign from every sign post, alley wall, lawn and billboard within two weeks after an election is held. I’m STILL finding places with tattered “Dukakis for President” signs. You made the mess, you clean it up!

6) I want to be able to fire government employees - ALL government employees - whenever they are not doing their jobs. There’s a great little perk to a cushy government job in the U.S.. That perk: it is nearly impossible for a person to lose their job, even due to gross incompetence. There is no consequence for failure or inefficiency. Theoretically, a Postal worker could crap on the counter at the Post Office while giving me my change and that guy would still have a job the next day. This is a total crock! It provides all government employees an excuse to do their job poorly and it throws out the concept of accountability. Take away this silly clause for everyone from the guy who delivers my mail to the highest office in the land & you will have a vote from me.

7) If you can find a way to make Renaissance Fairs, Civil War reenactments, and Carrot Top movies illegal that would be appreciated.

The last three all pertain to voting and the ballots used to vote.

Find the cash, give it to the states, and make it possible for all 50 states to use the exact same ballots, the exact same voting machines, and the exact same voting procedures. Make the process simple, the ballots easy to read (and RE-READ IF NECESSARY), and make our country follow one simple set of rules. While you’re at it, the machines and ballots must be made by a politically independent company. If you want to fix your elections in Florida or anywhere else, do it the old fashioned way: kill dissenting voters & intimidate other voters into your way of thinking. If you can’t do this simple little thing then you have no choice but to ban Florida from the Union and disallow all votes cast by the feeble-minded or the elderly. This should prevent both George Bushes, and 80% of Florida, from fucking up the election again.

9) When making those ballots be sure to include a “None of the Above” option. There are emergency procedures in place for when an elected official dies, becomes incapacitated, gets a cold, etc. Create a system that will allow for a temporary, or even the incumbent, official to run things while suitable, BETTER candidates can come out and gain the public’s trust. It is insulting to everyone involved that we have been stuck with having to vote AGAINST someone as opposed to voting FOR someone for so many years. If we don’t like the idiots on the ballot, what better way to express the COUNTRY’S opinion then to display a mandate for change like a whopping “None of the Above” winner? Suck on that, Electoral College!

10) Finally, we MUST outlaw the straight party ticket voting. For those unfamiliar with this, straight party ticket voting is where a voter need only punch one button or make one single selection to vote for all the candidates in one specific party. Since the U.S. really only acknowledges two parties, this means that you can vote for everyone in the Republican or Democratic party with one stroke of a pen. I suppose if all businesses are required by law to give employees one hour out of the day to vote, then we have the right to maximize our time away from the office.

Straight party voting is, quite simply, for slothful morons . If you don’t have the time to learn a little about all the candidates in order to make an informed vote and guarantee that the most qualified person gets the job, then you don’t deserve to live in the good old U.S. of A. Straight party voting assumes that Americans are ignorant and stupid. Sadly, it appears that we are because many people take advantage of this voting feature, making a mockery of the precious vote we are all promised in a democracy.

People who blindly back a political party have no concern for the wants and needs of the people in the country. Folks who use this voting option care nothing about the advancement and betterment of the country as a whole. They simply want their team to win. This team mentality, while fine if watching baseball or NASCAR races, cripples the country, and those who put the party before the people should be ashamed of their lazy simpleton actions.

As I’ve stated in the past I don’t like to discuss politics because of how many people don’t allow for dissenting opinion. They discount your beliefs in order to bolster their own fragile egos. They make folks who are hoping to make the world a better place feel uncomfortable and sorry for engaging in casual talk about important things. Mostly, they make blanket statements about how things would be if so-and-so won any given election, even though there‘s NO WAY to prove their statement. Well I’d like to make an impossible statement of my own. Even though it cannot be proven I am confident that it is completely true.
$hwing said:
Im waiting for some idiot to quote his entire post so they can refer to it directly. :offtopic:
Like that?
 

gehtfuct

HuGE
Staff
9,281
737
387
#9
Holy fuck,Broken. WTF are you doin' speaking logicly? You know half....ok...
Most of these fuckers here cant understand logic,unless you throw in a few fuck you's,and some,"you ghey". I geht your point. It kinda fuct me up with all the big words but,you are one. It takes many to make a statment. To make one happen. Lets just sit back and enjoy the Bears victory(YEAH! BABY!!)
Tank a few beers,and figure out WTF you're trying to say.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#10
gehtfuct said:
It kinda fuct me up with all the big words
DO YOU NEED US TO TALK WITTLE WORDIES?

Hee hee hee.
 

MaxPower

You're my number two
Staff
16,850
3,349
487
#11
The end of the world is near.
Broken is up on his book lernin.

I agree with your stand and say "Broken for president"
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#12
MaxPower said:
The end of the world is near.
Broken is up on his book lernin.

I agree with your stand and say "Broken for president"
dude, i thought you guys were voting me in for president? WTF? Traitors.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.