WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Don't shoplift.

Billybob

Gimmie Pwnies
Premium
927
15
207
#1
So my brother got himself a job as an assistant manager at Pier 1. But he decided that he wasn't making enough money, so he had an amazingly brilliant idea!
"What I'll do," he said to himself in the mirror one morning, "is just steal something little. I'll do it every day, right into my backpack. If they catch me I'll be fine cause it was just something really small and I can make up some story about how I misplaced a candle"

So his genius plan began. Every day he'd come home with a candle, or place mat, or piece of silverware and off to eBay he'd go. Everything was great he was making at least ten dollars a day off this stuff.
Until one day a security guard stopped him as he locked up the store. A vanilla candle slipped out of his bag.
"Oh my apologies" he said, having practiced this conversation in his head many times over, "I must have accidentally put it there. I'll put it back immediately"
Then the other guards showed up with the montage of security camera footage. Funny, when you add it all up it's enough to count as felony burglary!
"I see," he said, handing over the keys and his nametag. He kinda figured that would happen. He even had some money saved just in case he needed to start to pay it back.
He didn't expect to be arrested there and then, nor to defend himself in front of a judge.
He really didn't expect to spend two to six months in prison either.

Don't fucking steal things.
 

ThisIsBananas

Digital Girl Code
Premium
224
13
47
#4
Never steal from Best Buy. Loud alarms will go off. Gates will slam over the entrance and exit of the building, locking everybody in until the thief has been caught. Happened once when I was looking in Best Buy.
 

TheRover

Mostly_Liquid
2,421
993
132
#5
Never steal from Best Buy. Loud alarms will go off. Gates will slam over the entrance and exit of the building, locking everybody in until the thief has been caught. Happened once when I was looking in Best Buy.
Are you fucking kidding me, what do they sell in their, diamonds?
 

Crazizniac

Particinator
671
148
62
#9
Uh, Rove? I'm pretty sure they have a separate system in place to lock you out. Specifically.
 

Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
1,010
560
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#11
We had two shoplifters today within a couple hours. The first one (male & female) had $400 worth of meat and seafood in their cart. They were followed out the door, left the cart and ran away. The second one was a younger woman. She had some odds and ends in her cart. And six bags of shrimp. Boss was outside vaping and saw her looking to make an exit on his way back inside. I don't know if he just kind of hung around the exit and watched or if he casually walked in her general direction and made a friendly yet snarky comment about her dinner plans for the weekend. I can definitely see him doing that. LOL Anyway, she got nervous, left the cart sit and walked out the door.
 

Crazizniac

Particinator
671
148
62
#12
Goddammit. Someone level with me. Isn't it harder to live as a criminal? Isn't it easier to just - I dunno' get a job? Work and get paid? Hang a fucking shingle and sell your "wares"" Literally WTF?
 
#13
Goddammit. Someone level with me. Isn't it harder to live as a criminal? Isn't it easier to just - I dunno' get a job? Work and get paid? Hang a fucking shingle and sell your "wares"" Literally WTF?
Having been unemployed for a year and piling on debts, sometimes I want to justify stealing food as "survival." Not that I'd ever do it... again...

Life isn't so simple for some 😞
 

Jane Deere

Mama Deere
Staff
9,500
2,691
387
#14
Having been unemployed for a year and piling on debts, sometimes I want to justify stealing food as "survival." Not that I'd ever do it... again...

Life isn't so simple for some 😞
Contact a local church. Many have a specific fund to help the people in their communities.