Everyone who's ever given me relationship advice is wrong

[TheLampIncident]

They always tell me "Your day will come. You'll find a girl that you like." Oh gee, wonderful...I believe it at first...then hear it more and not so much. I've been hearing this shit for years. Well, where are they? People have told me specifically with my personality that the girls would come if I kept being myself. I don't see them anywhere. I remember one of my teachers last year saying that in college "All the girls would be fighting over me"...FUCK THAT. Why don't they fight over me now? Is everyone in high school putting on the fucking act? It's not like I'm even good enough for that shit parade called college. Don't tell me to get out there and try either. Any time I ever liked a girl, she didn't like me back. Everything blows up in my face because I suck. I give up. Fuck this and fuck you. Die shit fuck cunt whore bastard rape anarchy molesting banana trees in the rainforest.

Also, all you people complaining about your sex lives need to shut the fuck up. You act so underpriviledged because you've been without sex for a number of months. I'm 17 and I haven't even had a fucking liplock yet. All of you should die. DIE. DIE!!!! AGH!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

ASS SHIT FUCK I HATE THIS SHIT FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK!!!!!!

 

[_Kitana_]

Relax. Your 17. Thats pretty young yet. You need to step take a deep breath and find faith in yourself. Thats what it sounds like you are lacking. How can someone love you and put their trust and faith in you if you don't have any? With out Faith what do you have?

(faith meaning as having faith in yourself)

 

[TheLampIncident]

I tried that for many years. It didn't work. Having faith in yourself doesn't do any good if nobody fucking notices. Or maybe they do notice and they just like to kick sand in your face. That's the way it always was growing up...some kid with a personality comes along and all the cronies with no brains give him a face full of dirt. Man, I hate everybody for that reason.

 

[_Kitana_]

I tried that for many years. It didn't work. Having faith in yourself doesn't do any good if nobody fucking notices. Or maybe they do notice and they just like to kick sand in your face. That's the way it always was growing up...some kid with a personality comes along and all the cronies with no brains give him a face full of dirt. Man, I hate everybody for that reason.

No you have to find true faith. Its the thing that lets you know when you fall, you can still get back up. You don't need anyone to point out and show how great you are. You should be able to feel that inside and extend it to others.

You have so much hatred. I know that feeling. There is no way to truly let go of it other then to realse it in away that is postive. Instead of thinking of you get involved in some stuff and help out other people around ya. A million and one ways to do that

 

[Unforgiven]

They always tell me "Your day will come. You'll find a girl that you like." Oh gee, wonderful...I believe it at first...then hear it more and not so much. I've been hearing this shit for years. Well, where are they? People have told me specifically with my personality that the girls would come if I kept being myself. I don't see them anywhere. I remember one of my teachers last year saying that in college "All the girls would be fighting over me"...FUCK THAT. Why don't they fight over me now? Is everyone in high school putting on the fucking act? It's not like I'm even good enough for that shit parade called college. Don't tell me to get out there and try either. Any time I ever liked a girl, she didn't like me back. Everything blows up in my face because I suck. I give up. Fuck this and fuck you. Die shit fuck cunt whore bastard rape anarchy molesting banana trees in the rainforest.

Also, all you people complaining about your sex lives need to shut the fuck up. You act so underpriviledged because you've been without sex for a number of months. I'm 17 and I haven't even had a fucking liplock yet. All of you should die. DIE. DIE!!!! AGH!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

add 3 years onto that 17, and it sounds just like me

 

[Jung]

Dear Mr. Right,

In re: Woe is me / aka another awesome E/N thread.

They always tell me "Your day will come. You'll find a girl that you like." Oh gee, wonderful...I believe it at first...then hear it more and not so much.

Please allow me to be frank; you will never find “your girl”, you’ll always be lonely, get over it. I’m sorry that so many others have given you poor advice. I’ll apologize on behalf of the internet. We’re sorry for your social inadequacies.

I've been hearing this shit for years. Well, where are they? People have told me specifically with my personality that the girls would come if I kept being myself. I don't see them anywhere.

Again, I feel the need to be frank. Girls will have a harder time finding you on the internet, unless you include your name, age, location, penis length and of course sexual fetishes in your profile. After taking the proper steps towards seeing more girls, if you still fail to see more girls, feel free to go out and get some fresh air. Possible even attempt talking to creatures of the female agenda. Unless your fetish is the praying matis, they won’t bite. All should go well.

I remember one of my teachers last year saying that in college "All the girls would be fighting over me"...FUCK THAT. Why don't they fight over me now?

Good things come to those who wait. Jesus, you’d think you’ve never seen that ketchup commercial. What is today’s youth coming to?

Is everyone in high school putting on the fucking act? It's not like I'm even good enough for that shit parade called college.

College is actually a shit carnival; we stopped referring to it as a parade when Ronald Raygun was still in office. Please try to be politically correct.

Don't tell me to get out there and try either. Any time I ever liked a girl, she didn't like me back. Everything blows up in my face because I suck. I give up. Fuck this and fuck you. Die shit fuck cunt whore bastard rape anarchy molesting banana trees in the rainforest.

I won’t lie or offend you by telling you to “get out there and try.” Girls obviously aren’t “out there”, they’re hiding. No man has ever found this hidden female inner sanctum. High school is the time of pop icons; the only obvious next step, is to join a band and get on eMTyV. That will grant you instant notification.

Also, all you people complaining about your sex lives need to shut the fuck up. You act so underpriviledged because you've been without sex for a number of months. I'm 17 and I haven't even had a fucking liplock yet. All of you should die. DIE. DIE!!!! AGH!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

I agree the internet sex talk is a bit much. What can you do though, you’ve got dirty minds and sticky keyboards. You’ve got underaed and under sexed teens that need to talk about this stuff somewhere. AOL has parental control, so that’s obviously out. Where do they go? I apologize on behalf of every man, woman, transvestite and animal that’s ever had sex. In the future, we’ll try to be more considerate of you, while exercising our right to free speech.

ASS SHIT FUCK I HATE THIS SHIT FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK!!!!!!

I noticed in another post that you’re partial to growl metal. I know that’s not the real name for it; it has a real name and sub genre’s and sub sub genres, but I’ll refer to it as such for the moment. From your demeanor I’ve deduced that your musical tastes may be misplaced; you definitely seem much more emo, or at least gothic. Just something to consider. I hear Modest Mouse is all the rage with uber angst teeny types.

So, in closing please allow me these few last word. Sorry for all the bad advice, sorry that no girls like you, sorry, sorry , sorry. I hope I’ve met the requisite amount of sorries, received from an internet personality, in this post.


Sincerely,
The rest of the internet / aka all of those people who are wrong.




















Btw, I'm just joking.

 

[gurlgonewild]

17 is a tough age. are you awkward? do you act unattractively once you become intimidated? i mean there are SO many reasons why young gurls would push you aside, they're really finicky. and that is not your fault nor there's. its the age.

maybe you need some help from girls/guys who are meeting people with your social graces and image. basic things things, not changing who/what you are. it might give you somewhere to start from.

 

[tzedek]

They always tell me "Your day will come. You'll find a girl that you like."

haha you're a fucking loser. even i can get a girlfriend.

 

[BrIONwoshMunky]

Everyone was wrong huh? I say, give up on women and start chasin after aliens. Aliens aren't as near as prejudiced as women. PFffft.

Grow up or die... one's gonna happen whether you want it to or not.

 

[ChilianFuckFace]

Everyone was wrong huh? I say, give up on women and start chasin after aliens. Aliens aren't as near as prejudiced as women. PFffft.

I love aliens. Usually Hispanic Aliens are the best... big asses, nice firm tits, cute faces... you should try some...

 

[BiNarY110]

Hurrah! that make me right! Honestly, relationship advice is not the best thing to take online from total strangers. talk to the siginificant others friends and such.

 

[supposedtabeme]

I had my first boyfriend when I was 16. I regret having something with him. My next boyfriend was about 2 months after him.

I wish I never had anything to do with both of them. You can't preassure things up, it's better to wait for this shit. My first decent nice cute great boyfriend was my last one. I'm not planning on going crazy because I don't have a boyfriend. I'd rather wait untill I'm 20 to go through bad experiences because I feel "I'm reado to have a new boyfriend now!" Bah.

 

[supposedtabeme]

Everyone was wrong huh? I say, give up on women and start chasin after aliens. Aliens aren't as near as prejudiced as women. PFffft.

Women is not the problem, humans are.

 

[Smoke]

Shit comes and shit goes. Just give it a lil' time.

 

[lifesabitch0303]

They always tell me "Your day will come. You'll find a girl that you like." Oh gee, wonderful...I believe it at first...then hear it more and not so much. I've been hearing this shit for years. Well, where are they? People have told me specifically with my personality that the girls would come if I kept being myself. I don't see them anywhere. I remember one of my teachers last year saying that in college "All the girls would be fighting over me"...FUCK THAT. Why don't they fight over me now? Is everyone in high school putting on the fucking act? It's not like I'm even good enough for that shit parade called college. Don't tell me to get out there and try either. Any time I ever liked a girl, she didn't like me back. Everything blows up in my face because I suck. I give up. Fuck this and fuck you. Die shit fuck cunt whore bastard rape anarchy molesting banana trees in the rainforest.

Also, all you people complaining about your sex lives need to shut the fuck up. You act so underpriviledged because you've been without sex for a number of months. I'm 17 and I haven't even had a fucking liplock yet. All of you should die. DIE. DIE!!!! AGH!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!

ASS SHIT FUCK I HATE THIS SHIT FUCK THIS SHIT FUCK!!!!!!

I know this sounds too unreal for you, but I'm pretty sure it's true. No matter who you are, you have someone that admires you. just know that. just start talking to girls in your classes more and try to have a sense of humor if dont already. then dances are always a good excuse to go out w/ someone. yea its definitely not ur time to give up quite yet cause you're 17 and its about time u start living life more. good luck

 

[lifesabitch0303]

yea sorry about the whole advice thing but i honestly believe its possible cause the worst, uglyest, weirdest, dumbest guys end up with someone eventually. really its quite amazing and im sure you have a lot more potential than some.

 

[TheLampIncident]

I know this sounds too unreal for you, but I'm pretty sure it's true. No matter who you are, you have someone that admires you. just know that. just start talking to girls in your classes more and try to have a sense of humor if dont already. then dances are always a good excuse to go out w/ someone. yea its definitely not ur time to give up quite yet cause you're 17 and its about time u start living life more. good luck

Girls in classes don't like it when guys like me talk to them because I'm just not cool enough. I have a sense of humor, but that means nothing. School dances are bullshit. I gave up years ago when I came to these realizations.

 

[lifesabitch0303]

Girls in classes don't like it when guys like me talk to them because I'm just not cool enough. I have a sense of humor, but that means nothing. School dances are bullshit. I gave up years ago when I came to these realizations.

do you have friends that have a g/f? maybe u can hang out w/ them and she can bring some of her friends.

 

[TheLampIncident]

*thinks about his friends who have a girlfriend*

Hmm...yes, there's a couple out there...

*thinks about hanging out with their friends*

Nope, bad idea.

 

[_Kitana_]

haha you're a fucking loser. even i can get a girlfriend.

No flaming outside of bait and tackle btw.