Evil Genie Thread

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
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One person states a wish:

I wish I had a million dollars

The next poster grants it, but..

Granted, but you can't spend the money on yourself...

and so on and so on and so on...


I wish I had a life.
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
3,192
0
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You have a life, but it ends in 3 seconds.

I wish I had a more reliable webhost.
 

GanjaGirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
3,633
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you have the most reliable webhost in the world, but now you can no longer afford to keep them.

I wish I lived forever
 

GanjaGirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
3,633
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you have a 700 lb tub of ice cream dropped on you, crushing your bones, making you a paraplegic.

I wish I had a kitten
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
3,192
0
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You have a cat, but all it does is sit in the corner and mock you.

I wish I had a beer.
 

G Why

Banned - What an Asshat!
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[HOSTILE];797812 said:
You have your beer, but you're in a gay bar drinking it.

I wish I had a Ferrari.

You have a Ferrari but you find out about it's lack of brakes the hard way.

I wish I was dead.
 

Outlawed

Postaholic
2,902
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Granted, but you will be given the task of being satan's gimp.

I wish this thread would go on forever.
 

GanjaGirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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the thread goes on forever, but you're soon banned and can't post in it anymore

I wish I had a boat
 

Outlawed

Postaholic
2,902
1
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You get a luxury yacht for special services, but with the first step the whole deck is blasted to splinters under your weight.

I wish I had a personal genie.
 

Epidemic

Catastrophe
2,783
8
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Granted but all of your wishes are corrupted by douchebag wtf.com members. :(

I wish I had a gigantic taco.
 

MaxPower

Sweep the leg
Staff
17,294
7,909
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Granted. You have a personal Genie, but Dr Bellows follows you around, and she ends up giving your best friend Roger anal because you continue to repel her sexual advances even though she's uber hot, and has the ability to make her tongue 9 feet long and lick your balls from across the room. They later find your lifeless corpse along with a suicide note stating how you always felt different from the other guys in gym class.




I wish Pee Wee Herman would get caught jerking off in a porn theater.
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
3,192
0
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The sky is purple, because the clouds are made of grape juice. So, when it rains, it rains juice, makes everything sticky, then birds come and peck your eyes out
 

GanjaGirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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The sky is purple, because the clouds are made of grape juice. So, when it rains, it rains juice, makes everything sticky, then birds come and peck your eyes out
I see you wished for nothing

so *poof* you cease to exist.

I wish child birth didn't hurt
 

skylinec

Somewhere in the Between
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You don't feel the lower half of your body. One night you get shot in the ass with a shotgun and you have no idea it happened, so you bleed to death.

I wish my job paid more.
 

[HOSTILE]

Furniture
7,521
5
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It does, but you got transferred to it's parent company, Halliburton, and you are now working in Iraq.

I wish I could find my goddamn truck keys. (seriously).
 

GanjaGirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
3,633
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the squirrel is rabid, bites you, you don't realize it's infected, and it's 28 days later in your home town.

I wish I could play the drums