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falling for someone else

Zoso

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#1
i beleive my girl for five years is falling for someone else. she is everything to me and i love her. i will always love her. it is a bittersweet feeling, though because i want her to be happy, yet its tearing me apart. i havnt done anything wrong. its not like that. she just feels for another guy. i dont blame her, and i dont blame him... this is how she feels and i respect that. its just killing me.....

btw, all you middle school pricks who always say "fuck her friends" or post "101 ways to beat the shit outta a girl" or just say "stick a dick in her mouth" can just save it. this is real, and if you dont have anything real to say, then fuck off.
 
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#2
That is harsh, dude. Does she come right out and say that she digs this other guy? Or is it just that she is making moon eyes at another guy? If she comes right out with it, does she say that she still loves you? Cares about you? How old is she?

C'mon, man....Gush. We want details.
 

Zoso

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#3
Jarilith said:
That is harsh, dude. Does she come right out and say that she digs this other guy? Or is it just that she is making moon eyes at another guy? If she comes right out with it, does she say that she still loves you? Cares about you? How old is she?

C'mon, man....Gush. We want details.

shes a little older than me. yeah, she says she still loves me. but its deeper than b/f-g/f. she loves me as a person. we are both significant in each other's eyes and hearts. i feel that she will always love me and i will always love her... and, well, shes been hanging with this guy alot and telling me that she may have feelings for him. more than a freindship. and well, she cant help that. she can help how she acts on those feelings but i love her too much to not want her to act on how she feels. i just want her to be happy.
 
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#4
You sound like a good guy, Zoso. This is going to sound cliche'd, but I believe it's true. If you two were meant to be together, she'll come back to you. It's going to suck in the time that you're apart, but won't it be nice to know for sure if she's the one or not?
 

Zoso

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#5
oh i know shes the one. and im constantly fighting with myself over if its not necessarily meant for now. i know its meant to be, but maybe just not now. your right, its gonna kill me the time we are apart... but like i agree with what you said. if its meant to be it will be.
 

Chewie

Oops I farted....
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#6
This is a touchy time for you and your G/F. You two need to sit down and talk to each other about what is going on. Sit down like adults, and dont argue with each other about this. You need to be supportive of her during all this. She seems quite confused if she may have feelings for this ither guy, but says she still loves you. You need to make your feelings known to her; let her know how you feel. Make her remember the good times you two had together, and ask her if she really wants to throw that all away. Take the time to try to understand the meaning behind all this, and you two may just come out of this stronger than before. There has to be some reason why she would be seeking out other male company. Try to understand why. Persuade her to tell you how she is feeling, and you may be able to work it out.
 

Zoso

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#7
its not over if she decides to date this other guy. she hasnt thrown anything away. weve sat down and talked about this.. hours at a time. shes told me how she feels. im saying i want her to be happy and if her being happy means being with this other guy its gonna really tear me apart...
 

el crotcho

Cooler than sliced cheese
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#8
You just have to be the better man and show her how much you really do love her, thats the best advice that i got. And for the comment about the middleschoolers that is funny cuz its true.
 
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#9
Zoso said:
im saying i want her to be happy and if her being happy means being with this other guy its gonna really tear me apart...
If she does decide to hook up with this other guy, sadly enough there's only on thing you can do.

Sit back, nod your head, and smile. If things don't work out in the end, then you'll move on. It will take time, but you'll move on.

Or maybe she needs to get with this other guy, and live a little, and experience different personalities. When she realizes she had it better with you, she'll come running back.

Women are nuts. And so are we.
 

Nailbomb

I'm just really nice.
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#11
I've always been partial to "nuttier than a Snickers bar."

@ topic creator- what do you mean by "it's not over if she decides to date this other guy?"
 

Zoso

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#12
well, weve been together for so long... and weve grown together. its a love that i cannot begin to explain and one that you would probably not understand uless you have felt it. itll never be over. not even if she never speaks to me again its not over. shell always be my girl...


HavokChylde said:
If she does decide to hook up with this other guy, sadly enough there's only on thing you can do.

Sit back, nod your head, and smile. If things don't work out in the end, then you'll move on. It will take time, but you'll move on.

Or maybe she needs to get with this other guy, and live a little, and experience different personalities. When she realizes she had it better with you, she'll come running back.

Women are nuts. And so are we.

i like your standpoint. mellow. :thumbsup:
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
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#13
First off I wish you the best of luck. Now I would agree with much of the above advice because there's little you can do if she's falling for someone else. You said you've talked about it and obviously she knows how you feel. That's ALL you can do. Be yourself, and be truthful of your feelings with her. The rest will work out, one way or the other. You sound like a nice guy to let her make up her mind on something that is obviously so important to you. Bravo, and once again good luck.
 

BigTexMarine25

how YOU doin'?
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#14
damn bro. i feel for you..... i have been there. you two love each other so much but there might be someone new in her sights. just talk to her.... i wouldnt recommend talking about all the good times because then if she stays with you, it might be out of guilt or that need for security. ask her what she wants. if she uses the ever popular female line of " i dont know" then make the suggestion of you two taking a break or something. that this what if is killing you and you need to know for sure or the relationship will never be what it was because that question will be in the back of your mind. if ya'll do decide to take a break to see how things go, just let her know that you will be there for her ( not to run back to cuz then she will either take advantage of it because you will be there not matter what, or seem needy) but as a friend. not even a friend though, a best friend........ you will be there to talk to and just an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on if it doesnt work. and if it doesnt work and you do decide to get back together, she will be secure in that because you were the bigger man by letting her go to make her own decisions. you respect her, she will love you. and if things dont work out for you two, just let the time heal the wounds and at least be glad that you had the time of your life with her. loves like that dont come along easily.
 

Captain 151

Seeped in a dry Merlot
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Zoso, i can empathize with you my friend. I had a girl of 3 years that i loved deep to the core dump my sorry ass for another (and considerably less attractive) dude. I didn't feel angry at the dude, (although i did feel somewhat mistreated by my ex... for reasons i dont think need to be adressed).

I can't offer any other advice other than what has already been mentioned.. i just felt like adding the fact that you arent alone in this situation. Good luck.
 

Bitch

Evil Fluffy says: I PEE IN YOUR SHOES!
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#16
How many relationships has she had before you? Is she afraid of commitment? has she had troubled relationships in the past? I'm sure she does love you and it's obvious you love her too. Maybe she just needs to find out for herself where her heart truly is. It's possible she just feels if you are the one for her, she needs to be sure of it herself. She feels confused because she has feelings for someone else and she's thinking it might be good to try it out and see where it goes. My only advice is, if you do decide to let her go, welcome her back if she returns but don't make a habit of it because she may run all over you even without realizing it herself. It honestly might be her testing herself. Sometimes getting into a deep relationship is scary, even for those who've been in love before. No one wants to make that mistake after investing so much energy and time into something like a relationship.

A friend did something similar to that. She knew this one guy REALLY loved her. She knew if she got involved with him that it was going to be for the long haul. She wanted to make sure he's what she truly wanted so she dated other men before jumping into the big relationship with this one guy. After she came to the conclusion that this guy was really the one for her, she settled down. They are now married and very happy.

I know it's a hard thing to do, but she needs to make this decision on her own. Let's hope she comes to her senses and realize what she already has.
 

Zoso

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#17
tbsrk said:
.. i just felt like adding the fact that you arent alone in this situation. Good luck.
thanks alot man. that really helps me out... :thumbsup:

Bitch said:
How many relationships has she had before you? Is she afraid of commitment? has she had troubled relationships in the past? I'm sure she does love you and it's obvious you love her too. Maybe she just needs to find out for herself where her heart truly is. It's possible she just feels if you are the one for her, she needs to be sure of it herself. She feels confused because she has feelings for someone else and she's thinking it might be good to try it out and see where it goes. My only advice is, if you do decide to let her go, welcome her back if she returns but don't make a habit of it because she may run all over you even without realizing it herself. It honestly might be her testing herself. Sometimes getting into a deep relationship is scary, even for those who've been in love before. No one wants to make that mistake after investing so much energy and time into something like a relationship.

A friend did something similar to that. She knew this one guy REALLY loved her. She knew if she got involved with him that it was going to be for the long haul. She wanted to make sure he's what she truly wanted so she dated other men before jumping into the big relationship with this one guy. After she came to the conclusion that this guy was really the one for her, she settled down. They are now married and very happy.

I know it's a hard thing to do, but she needs to make this decision on her own. Let's hope she comes to her senses and realize what she already has.
well, yes and no to your questions. i feel that alot of that is her business and id be way outta line to put that out on the internet.... but i understand what you are saying and it does make alot of sense. if she does go out of my life temporarily ill deff. welcome her back... and with open arms b/c i love her and ill never hold against her feelings that she has. and i also agree with you about it happening often... i feel very strongly that shes not the type of person to play me like that, but i apreciate you pointing that out. thank you for your thoughts.....
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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#18
I'm sorry to hear this.
I think they most of the people who said that she might need to see what new ground is like and then just come back, are probably right.
I'm sure it will work out for the best, because It's obvious you really love her, and hopefully she will see that. I think she will, I'm really impressed you are taking this so well!
Good luck : )