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Family won't pay back...(Long Long Read)

GamerGuy87

I am sexy...Oh yea...
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#1
My family has never liked me. I'm the "Black-Sheep." But the thing is, I've never done anything wrong. The reason why they all hate me was because I was born. They blame me for my mom skipping out on Medical School and my dad not becoming an Officer in the Air Force sooner than planned. They tell me in my face whenever we have a family reunion.

Okay, that's the basics. Well, I've been working and saving money since I was 8. Mowing lawns, doing yardwork, bagging groceries and whatnot, so I'm loaded with cash. I was trying to save money for college.

Well, when I was 16, my family went to the Philipines to visit the Family...Oh joy...While we were there, everyone gave me crap. I just acted laid back and let it all come. Well, my mom dropped the word that I had money. A lot of it. I suddenly got a bunch of looks from everybody, so I decided to leave the room. That's when my Uncle, the one who seems to hate me the most, approached me. He said the rice fields were doing really bad, and that it's the only way that his family makes money. He needed some cash to help it out. Being the nice, loving and caring person I was, I said okay. He needed $2500 in American. Holy shit. Well, I shelled out what I had on me, then took a quick drive to a bank in Manila and got the rest. He assured me he was going to pay it all back.

When my cousin got accepted to a college in Manila, everyone was overjoyed. Then we looked how much it was. He needed a lot of money to start classes. Well, I again had to be the one to shell out the cash. $7,000. Everyone then agreed that they'll start doing payments back to me within the year. Over the past 2 years, I've been giving money to my relatives so they won't go onto the streets or lose whatever they were going to lose. The grand total ended up being $13,900.

Well, to end this long ass story, there was another big Family reunion, this past summer. The one thing that was on my mind. Why the fuck haven't I recieved a single cent back? I approached the family about this. Well, they all told me, the reason why they haven't paid me back, was because we were family, so they don't have to pay back.....WHAT THE FUCK!? I said that was a load of shit, I want my money back. My cousin dropped out of college, and said that he can't. The Rice fields are doing great, but he's expanding and needs the money, and the others said that what I did was because I was family and they don't have to pay back. I got on the next plane back to the states the following day, alone. Where were my parents? Why haven't they stepped in and defended me? Well, they too owed me money, my mom is a recovering alcoholic and needs treatment and therapy and my dad needed money because of gambling problems.

So yea, I'm out $13,900 and no one in my family intends to pay me back. I had to go to UNLV because I didn't have the money for the University of Florida(Gators). Great, so how was your day?
 

meh_it_all

WTF.com Sexy Pimp-ette.
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#2
Wow.. that fuckin' sucks, sometimes it really doesn't pay off to be nice to your family.
But, you can look back and see how you did help them out, if they wanna be nasty to you and not do damn nice thing back then, they'll get what's coming to them.
 

Boycott

Soul Doubt
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#3
Damn... Different countries too, so no chance of the law stepping in (unless you have relatives over here that owe you money)
 

GamerGuy87

I am sexy...Oh yea...
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#4
Well, what almost-perfect timing...My mom just called me. Apparantly, an uncle of mine has been out of work. Because of that, him and his family are about to get kicked out to the street and don't have amy money for food. Guess what, they need money! Guess who's the only one in the WHOLE FRICKIN family with money?.....ME!.....AGAIN!.....They need some money to get back on their feet. From what I know, my uncle is looking for a job. But that's not the problem, I know they won't pay back. I don't have to give them the money, I don't want to and I shouldn't...but, I'll be going down to the bank first thing tommorrow to draw out some money, just have to wait for another phone call to see how much I have to draw out.....Dammit! I should just tell them to kiss my ass, but I'm not that kind of person. I could teach everyone a fuckin lesson if I did that. Remember, they live in the Phillipines, so stuff is different over there....God, sometimes I wish I was an asshole, and not so goddam nice...Assholes get girlfriends, so then why am I always being nice? FUCK!!!!
 

Sektor

Particinator
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#5
If there's one thing I've learned about loaning out money, it's to expect to not get paid back. If people find out that you're nice, they'll do everything possible to fuck you over. Even family. ESPECIALLY family. Why? Because of that little excuse you mentioned in your story: "We're family."

If you don't want to give out the money, then don't. However, if you don't mind giving out the money, and don't expect to be paid back, then by all means go ahead with it. Should it come to a point where their problems are interfering with your life, then you will have to stop, or they'll drag you right down to their level.
 

The Xephon

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#6
This is my opinion, it's easier said than done. Fuck them, start a new life without them. Don't give them anymore money, start your own family (in time, when you're ready). Start new. Note: My opinion
 

Sulik

I'm serious, no?
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#7
That really sucks man. If you are to give them money, at maximum give them like 1/2 or 1/3 of the amount asked. And make sure to tell them you want those money back, in specific period of time.
Can't belive that though. You're the best in your family, may be that's why you got treated that way.
 

littleone

the short crazy one
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#8
Sorry so long.

GamerGuy87 said:
They blame me for my mom skipping out on Medical School and my dad not becoming an Officer in the Air Force sooner than planned.
:eek:I know how you feel. My siblings and I are the reasons that my eldest sister didn't go to college. We were the reason that she didn't go as far as she could. She's my guardian, and she never lets me live it down. My little sister and I are reminded again and again that we didn't almost DIE trying to get to America, that we have the easy life, and that we take everything for granted because we've never been through the hard times in Laos and Thailand. Not saying they weren't hard times, or that we have it reall hard or anything, but they did it for us, because they love us. So, why do they have to keep making us feel guilty?


GamerGuy87 said:
I was born there.


GamerGuy87 said:
The grand total ended up being $13,900.

the reason why they haven't paid me back, was because we were family, so they don't have to pay back.....WHAT THE FUCK!? I said that was a load of shit, I want my money back.

So yea, I'm out $13,900 and no one in my family intends to pay me back. I had to go to UNLV because I didn't have the money for the University of Florida(Gators). Great, so how was your day?
That's a whole lot of money. And why can't they be proud of you for being so money motivated? Why can't they see that you have GREAT traits and perserverance (sp?)? It's because crazy traditional asian families will do that to you. They don't give a shit about what makes you a great person. (Not saying all asian families, but it seems like both of ours do.) They care about how much money you can give to the family, they care about what kind of reputation that you can give the family, they care about what they can gain from you, and they care about how much they can use and use you again and again. I did theater throughout highschool, did they support me? Hell-the-fuck-no! They cared about whether or not I'm becoming a doctor, they cared about how much money I can make in the profession I choose to go into. They didn't care about what I liked to do, or what I enjoy to do, they don't care about whether or not I would like the profession that THEY want me in. Our families are hard to deal with, they want us to give and give, but they have a hard time grasping their ability to give back.

PS. sorry for being so long, it striked a nerve.
 

Stardust

Being naked just feels so a-peeling
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#9
oh man... :hug2:
you should maybe have them to sign a contract? that they sign..and they have to pay back all the money as soon as possible :) ?
 

Easty

Click click boom
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#10
^ contracts, my boy.

that blows though. i wish i had that much. :(

hope some rep helps.
 
#11
If all this is true then this is what you need to realize. You standing up to your family and telling them screw off, you all treat me like shit and expect me to give you money because you are too lazy to earn it yourself does not make you a mean person dude. Do you think when you get older and your savings are emptied they will loan you money so you can have food? I doubt it. In summary, standing up for yourself instead of letting your family fuck you over is not being mean.
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#12
This is why I never, ever LOAN my family money. I will GIVE them money, but you never LOAN your family money. Especially not 13 g's.