AZtucson
Federal Flame Marshall
Flame Bureau of Investigation
Washington, D.C.
WTF? Inc:
Sirs.
I have been dispatched to your forum in search of two Flame Fugitives. Namely Bonesuck, a.k.a. Bonesaw, a.k.a. The Head of a Muskrat Penis, and Lardy, a.k.a. Lady Ice, a.k.a. I Desperately Want to Fuck Teenage Boys. The fugitives escaped from a Flame Detention Facility and are currently at large. It appears theirs was a team escape, during which Lardy exposed her breasts to a Detention Officer, permanently blinding him. Whereupon Bonesuck made use of his legendary fellatio capacity and from a distance of 17 feet, literally sucked the Officer's keys right off his belt and into his cell, whereupon they made good their escape.
They have certain idiosyncrasies that will aid in identifying them. In the case of Bonesuck, be aware of a boy of diminutive stature, given to Tourettes-like outbursts of self-aggrandizing complete and utter bullshit. When confronted Bonesuck will retreat and begin to savagely beat about the head and face his cloth and stuffing replica of Ursus Major, commonly known as a “teddy bear.” He will also call you a “hater,” and urinate in his pants.
Lardy is a completely unremarkable lumpy, misshapen housefrau from Ohio. The only clue to her presence you will have is a strong odor of feces, since she has an almost hysterical aversion to toilet paper and proper bathroom hygiene. She is, however, readily identified if you have a Model 4000 Cellulite Detector. She’ll make that fucker light up like a Chinese New Year celebration.
Should you encounter either of these ass-pimples, immediately contact me at my office. There is a reward for any information leading to their apprehension. It’s 12 cents.
AZtucson
Federal Flame Marshall
Federal Flame Marshall
Flame Bureau of Investigation
Washington, D.C.
WTF? Inc:
Sirs.
I have been dispatched to your forum in search of two Flame Fugitives. Namely Bonesuck, a.k.a. Bonesaw, a.k.a. The Head of a Muskrat Penis, and Lardy, a.k.a. Lady Ice, a.k.a. I Desperately Want to Fuck Teenage Boys. The fugitives escaped from a Flame Detention Facility and are currently at large. It appears theirs was a team escape, during which Lardy exposed her breasts to a Detention Officer, permanently blinding him. Whereupon Bonesuck made use of his legendary fellatio capacity and from a distance of 17 feet, literally sucked the Officer's keys right off his belt and into his cell, whereupon they made good their escape.
They have certain idiosyncrasies that will aid in identifying them. In the case of Bonesuck, be aware of a boy of diminutive stature, given to Tourettes-like outbursts of self-aggrandizing complete and utter bullshit. When confronted Bonesuck will retreat and begin to savagely beat about the head and face his cloth and stuffing replica of Ursus Major, commonly known as a “teddy bear.” He will also call you a “hater,” and urinate in his pants.
Lardy is a completely unremarkable lumpy, misshapen housefrau from Ohio. The only clue to her presence you will have is a strong odor of feces, since she has an almost hysterical aversion to toilet paper and proper bathroom hygiene. She is, however, readily identified if you have a Model 4000 Cellulite Detector. She’ll make that fucker light up like a Chinese New Year celebration.
Should you encounter either of these ass-pimples, immediately contact me at my office. There is a reward for any information leading to their apprehension. It’s 12 cents.
AZtucson
Federal Flame Marshall
