First time ever

nexus

Hoodrat
32
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Ok here we go this is the first ever peace of poetry that I have ever written. so be nice I thort I would post it here just to c what you guyz think of it and any help that you can think of giving in grassy excepted... it dont ever kno is you can call it a poem..

here it is

A HUG


a hug is all i ask
nothing more
nothing less
a hug to say hello
a hug before you go
and before we part

i c you hug Everone els
but never me
Y is that so??
what is wrong with me
do i have some sort of decease
a hug is all i ask
a sing of friendship
a hug to show you care

Around the cycle you go
but ever time you miss me
to my left and to my right
but never me
never me

a tear i cry as i ask Y
Y is this so
what is wrong with me
are you scared of something
something i can not see
something only you can see
what is this that you see
Inside me or outside me
What is it that you c

All i ask is a hug
a hug that seam’s to me
that i will never have from you!!! :-(
 

The_DEAL

FAILING @FAILING!
2,301
53
112
first time eh? pretty good just work in the flow of it more make every word seem to float togather
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
183
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very cute. personally, I cant stand the "y" and "c" instead of writing why and see. Other than that, its a great rhyming couplet. look forward to seeing more from you.