WTF ... IS WTF!?
We are a collective of people who believe in freedom of speech, the rights of individuals, and free pancakes! We share our lives, struggles, frustrations, successes, joys, and prescribe to our own special brand of humor and insanity. If you are looking for a great place to hang out, make new friends, find new nemeses, and just be yourself, WTF.com is your new home.

For all of you with children.

bnccoder

Postaholic
2,479
0
36
#1
I just realized I posted this in the wrong place MODS please move it.




The following came from an anonymous mother in Austin, TX

Things I've learned from my children (Honest and No Kidding):

1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2,000 sq. foot
house 4 inches deep.

2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.

3. A 3-year-old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.

6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.

7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words "Uh-oh", it's already
too late.

8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

9. A six-year-old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a
36-year-old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying
glass can start a fire even on an overcast day.

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a
four-year-old.

11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same
sentence.

12. Super glue is forever.

13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.

14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials
show they do.

17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do
not like ovens.

20. The fire department in Austin has a 5 minute response time.

21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earth worms
dizzy. It will however make cats dizzy and cats throw up twice their body
weight when dizzy.
 
10,772
55
253
#2
I don't get it Bnn, where do you want this thread to be?
 

Sinamon

~Broken Angel~
631
0
16
#5
ROFL. I have two kids and all I have to say it that's RIGHT on. LOLOLOLOLOL. ok Im done...no Im not...ROFL

good shit
 

UberSkippy

a.k.a. FuckTheBullShit
7,529
28
142
#6
Wisdom heard at my neighbor's house.

Dad speaking to his 16 year old daughter: "Doors are a privelage. If you can't shut them nicely you can't have one for your room."

As it turns out, a 16 year old girl will fucking cave in to anything without a door to her room. After a week she relented on whatever issue had started the whole mess. Now, no matter how pissed off she is she will NOT slam a door.

He's just wondering if he could put a porta potty in the back yard and tell her that bathrooms are privelages and that if you can't keep it clean you can't have it.