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Friends Bitching at me

Brain Spout

Wizard No More
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#1
there is some shit going on b/t me and a friend of mine, i really just need to get all this shit off of my chest b/c if i talk to any of my other friends chances are this person will find out. plus i know none of them will read these forums. bear with me caues im really ticked off.

so im on AIM the other day(today) when, to me at least, out of the blue my friend says essentially htat he has decided we arent going to be friends anymore becaue im rude, a control freak, i always argue, i treat him like crap, and i bring out the worst in him. he ends it with goodbye.

on an aside: now im a dude, and im not homosexual, and neither is this guy, but doesnt that sound like something someone would say if they are breaking up with their significant other? i just noticed that, im not insulting them in that

now ill be real personal here, so dont give me shit on this. im not a phychiatrist or phycologist, so im not exactly sure what im talking about, but being that i spent some time with each i think i can accurately to a degree describe my mental health.

allright so when i was very young, but not that young that i cant remember (around 6) my father left me(divorced). i know people have it a lot worse than this, but still you cant tell me something like that doesnt affect a person. anyway over the next about 10 years a developed a low self asteem from this and showed no real symptoms/emotions from it. then i guess i just snapped since my dad never contacted me and went into a deep state of depression, then after seeing a bunch of phychiatrist and the like and being on a bunch of prescription pills i realized several things.
A) prescription pills are BS, they didnt really solve anything. this is why i feel so strongly against them
B) fuck him and fuck anyone is basically what one guy told me. i shouldnt feel bad b/c of what one prick did to me. i should never feel at fault b/c of someone else essentially they tried to build my confidence. this worked and in my opinion to a degree sent me over the other end. because i constantly argue with people, think i am right, and try not to let shit bother me. so basically im a control freak and still have with some issues. also contributing to my contorl freak issue is some issues with trust. sicne i was exposed to someone not to trust at a young age i dont trust many people unless i know them well and then to have a somehwat cynical view of the world. anyway the fact that i dont trust people that muich probably leads to why i like to take contorl, but i just sometimes dont feel they will get it done right. i know this osunds bad, it think it sounds bad, but i honestly cant help it that much.

anyway now that you understand that part you can probably understand the control freak/argueing part. except i would like to justify the argueing part in the fact that just for fun i do like to argue, i enjoy making proof for my case and argueing with someone about something against their proof and i think that in some cases this guy has taken my arguments too deeply. i have been complimented countless times for argueing well and making good conversation. how can two people talk if they just agree on everything:
i think that movie was great
so do i, i like it b/c of sceneA
oh my god, me too
what do you think of this
i think that
wow, me too

in my opinion that is boring, so i like to argue, and i realize that what im doing is argueing about me argueing being bad which makes you think, but argueing isnt bad, i think that i just like to be right which means im stubborn on giving up in an argument and that sometimes people take it personally when i win an argument (i think i sound like an asshole in the last one, but that's not what i mean)

now i have three more issues to address: rude, treating him like crap, and bringing out the worst in him

ill make these relatively brief in comparison:
rude, i would like to say that i dont know how to address this since i usually am not rude. im opinionated and out spoken, which i suppose could be viewed as rude, but i dont think that im ever down right rude, especially since i often times try to avoid being rude, but i dont know what he thought about that one

as far as treating him and everyone like crap ill plead guilty. my friends and i like to screw around which means that when my one friend lets his guard down i might slap him and then later on when i let my guard down he slaps me. i think this isnt right, but it isnt unfair and we are teenage boys so i dont think anything else could be expected.

as far as bringing out the worst in him, which i think is why it sounded like a breaking up thing, i dont know what he means. i am a control freak so i suppose that when i lead someone on an immoral campaign if you will it would bring out the worst in them. however i dont think this is what they are referring to/i hope it isnt. i think that on this issue that he should be able to control himself and tell himself that he shouldnt act this way/that and not be mad at me about how he acts. for gods sake hes being angry at me for acting a certain way, so how does he turn around and blame me for his actions.

after that he said goodbye. i honestly think i am not that much in the wrong, but i was willing to compromise since i wasnt ready to lose them as a friend. one thing i would like to say to make things more clear is that as far as treating everyone like crap it is true that i tend to pick on one of my friends more often, i wont say his name. the reasons are numerous. for one everyone picks on him more for whatever reason. including the person angry at me(ill call them Tom in this), ill call the person we pick on Chris. anyway even tom tends to pick on chris more. everyone does. and the thing is chris doenst retaliate at all violently which i think infuriates us in a way because he acts like doing so makes him better than us. he does verbally abuse us though and bring us down. so reasons for this are:
A) everyone does it, im conforming
B) self esteem issues, im making someone else feel inferior (alright this is a bad reason, but i said reasons, not justifications)
C) this person, like me, feels the need to argue a lot and doesnt ever admit hes wrong, however unfortunately he is wrong a good deal and when he refuses to see something like that it makes me mad. and then he goes around and calls me a ass or whatever b/c i won an argument which also makes me mad. so i take it out on him in the only way that he cant combat. and i honestly do expect him to hit me back DISCREETLY. everyone else has no problem waiting for me to let my guard down and then hit me.
D) this person is one of those people that thinks that prescription pills solve anything, furthermore they tend to make a lot of sheltered statements to this effect (like quoting a show about it and joking about it, when the show was actually about the issue adn probably against it)

anyway im not going to justify picking on him, becuase ill say that you cant justify something like that. this is all i have to say. i feel a lot better now that ive said all this and if anyone really wants to argue with me about any of these feel free, its what i do :)
 
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#2
Well, I think im one of the only person who has read the hole thing. It seems to me, like you pick on people for the fact of you know you have this power. The thing about your dad and everything, I've gotta say this. Thats the kind of shit, that you don't need to take out on everyone else. It happend to you, no need to bitch to everyone else, to feel remorse, and self pitty. I think thats one of the shittist concepts about that post. Well, lets see, I think the part about "I can't tell friends, for the fact that "FRIEND X"(Chris was his name I beleve), Well, the best way to really get this off your chest is to sit down and talk with this person, FACE to FACE. Not over the internet.

From what you say, you know you have controll issues. Thoes are the things that you need to use. The way to use it, is to your advatange, Being a strong leader is ALOT differnt then being a controll freak. You have the same concepts, But differnt actions.

When people call you rude, It's mainly because you argue. This is something they can throw in to be factor, And im pretty damn sure, even tho you try not to be a "rude person" the fact that you win arguments is a rude charateristic in some peoples eyes. Don't worry to much. Slap the bitch and tell them this is how it works. :asmile:

I agree with you, Agreeing to everything is just damn boring. But the fact is, You need to know when to agree and when not to. Everything can't be an argument, For what I beleve you do for a fetish?. May seem weird with my wording, but I think you like arguing for some reason. But things your friends say you may just need to agree with to get the basterd to shut the hell up. Make them feel better inside. Even tho you feel like taking a bowling-Ball filled with their moms vaginal hairs down their throat.

The part about "You bring out the worst in me" sounds like one of thoes "It's not you, it's me" Things girls pull to justify themselfs, to try to make a situation they better in their eyes.

I must admit, you talking about what you and your friends do to him, sounds like compleat shit. You want friends, you keep them. Not by being a jerk. I'm suprised this guy hasn't done another Columbine on you. :gun: Bang. I half expect him to be thinking about it. The fact you don't think your in SOME PART in the wrong, Is something I think you need to reconsidder. It seems like your in denyal. The Denyal isnt just a river in Africa. (Thanks Jack Osborne for that one).

All and all, I Hope I helped. But from the ways of it, You seem too into yourself to even think of what I have wrote.

Hope you understand
- o0oo00ooliii :rip: Feel free to PM if you wish to further this convosation.
 

Brain Spout

Wizard No More
4,503
111
177
#3
i dont think you understand me im not the one who just decides that im going to be an ass to everyone. werent you ever in high school. havent you ever played pranks on your friends? we do that a lot. i dont start it always. i can see a lot of the points you are making and argueing is not a "fetish" for me. it is a source of entertainment. although i think that a more accurate term for argueing is debating b/c that is what i like to do, argueing is something a little different. anyway i did read you post and im not using the thing with my dad as an excuse or a justification, if i didnt say that i definitely meant to. just an explanation so that you can perhaps understand who i am. looking back on my post i think there are a lot of innacuracies that could lead to you thinking i am someone else. thankyou for reading it all and i think that your words are helping to me. one thing i didnt mention which may help you understanding and why i am so confused as to this persons outburst:
about a month ago "Tom" was really tautning chris, like all the time and chris kept saying im going to hit you and tom would egg him on sometimes. anyway one day chris actually hits him and he gets really upset that chris would have the gall to hit him and that he only hung out with chris out of pity. this is why i am confused and believe i am not in the wrong.

i just have to hope now that im more rational that this whole thing blows over. the one thing i think this has helped me to do is to question who i am(damn careers course in school didnt do that) and ive realized that i may not be who i percieve myself to be. this moment in inner reflection has caused more and more thought and i seriously hope that i can unravel this. i try to stay optimistic a lot, but sometimes i can't. anyway thank you 00000iii or whatever you username was, sorry i didnt note the exact characters. i guess the one thing i have learned out of this, or the moral of the story if you will is to shut the fuck up. i think that would of solved everything if there was just a little guy in my head who said that more often. right now might be appropriate, but im not done explaining myself. you see i can continue to be an asshole, but it really isnt a problem if i shut the fuck up. i mean i think that ive come to the point where i dont trust that many people and become somewhat detached, but at the same time i thrive for them to see me as right. so in conclusion am i any more right if i convince someone else im right, rather than just know im right? so in this long conclusion i think one thing can be learned, and maybe some of you have learned this lesson:

"Shut the fuck up" - my brain

if you can follow my rambling thats good, but i bet i wouldnt have been rambling had a STFU (abreviated)

edit: as i started this edit i was about to argue with a point that i saw in your post when a thought suddenly dawned on me, youll never guess what it was...

edit2: i thought this was interesting, i checked my horoscope for today:
Here's another tug-of-war to solve -- and no, it's not fair to have two in a row. Will you spend every waking moment tending to a work situation that's out of control, or go home and hibernate?
 
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#4
lol - Good Thoughts, Please explain "What dawnd on you". Sorry for my short post, As it is a result of I've got to be heading to school today. I will Re-edit this post. The hole point about what you said...

"so in conclusion am i any more right if i convince someone else im right, rather than just know im right? so in this long conclusion i think one thing can be learned, and maybe some of you have learned this lesson:"

Sometimes yes, and sometimes no. In some situations its better to let the other person bleve their right, For the simple fact of they are thick skulled.

(I wll be editing this later, into a longer message.) :thumbsup:

- o0oo00ooliii :rip:
 

Brain Spout

Wizard No More
4,503
111
177
#5
what dawned on me was that i was just in a bad mood. i have been in and out of depression for the past 5 years and sometimes im really sad for months, sometimes im really angry for months, and somtimes im just unexplainably happy for months. i think that i was just in a state of sadness and anger for the past couple months and my friends really didnt understand this. i mean i havnet been this big of a jerk my whole life. i thinkt hat this event has helped me out of my lousy state. i feel much better actually. today was a good day. i didnt do one negative thing yet, unless you count some morbid retrospection. i hope this mood continues for a time.

i would like to further clarify one thing about my debating since today i was doing it and i occured to me a clearer way of putting it. I was in the middle of study hall and me and some friends were discussing current events, mainly the Schiavo case. And between the three of us and the teacher we had variaying viewpoints and each of us laid down our case and what we thought. In the end we basically concluded that although it may be sad in this case the law wins over morality. i could go on forever on this case, but i thought i would clarify what i meant by "argueing" or debating. i do really enjoy conversing in such a sense though and I think that calling it a fetish is innacurate.

goodday :)

edit: i looked over your profile oO. i see that someone like me is your pet peeve. someone who thinks they are right :) also i am shocked at how young you are. not thta i am that much older, but you speak like you have the wisdom of many more years than you have
 
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#6
Hi, Back from school. Another wonderfull day in this evoshovnastic self centerd all about me world. :thumbsdn:. But anywhoo, Lets get back to the subject.

1.) No, I haven't reached highschool level yet, as a result of I am only 13 years of age.
2.) Yes, we do play pranks on friends, but from the sound of it, you guys may do this a little TOO much.

You saying "this is a sorce of entertainment" was what I ment to say, with a too vast vocabulary, but couldn't find the words to express my thoughts. But, it seems like you have a sick way of having fun. Sick may not be the word in this case, but you understand my logic. You may not be starting all these things to pick on your friend, but you said yourslef, you do help. If sombody had some weed, and the cops came, and you were with them, you go down to the station too, It's just how things work. He may see you, Oblivious to the fact you didn't start it, as a HUGE person in the intaganising. Due to the fact that you two are close.

From reading the part about what YOU think you can do to solve this, you seem really hard on yourself. Thats a bad thing. I am glad that you are coming up with a resalotion that you think will work for you, tho.

Now I ask out of self ponder, what has "dawnd" on you? If its something personal, I guess you don't need to sweat bullets on wondering if you should tell me. Very true / awakard horoscope.

-o0oo00ooliii - With few words :rip:

EDIT: I posted this only moments after you posted your privous post. So things may not seem smart after reading whaty ou just wrote. I r dumbass.
Thanks for agreeing with me. And yes, im 13.
 

Brain Spout

Wizard No More
4,503
111
177
#7
does the source of entertainment sound that sick? i mean when you played a prank on your friend was it fun? or was it something you dreaded to do and looked back on with disgust, but also happiness that it was over. I dont mean that we do it for sport or that it is a hobby. All i meant is that we are teenage boys who are immature. when three people can put a table over someones head and make them wake up to smash their face that's funny. not to them, but heh they'll have their fun and eventually it will be your turn to go to the slaughter, so to speak. i think everyone will work out in the end and i have my own theories as to why this event happened aside from the surface ones. but anyway, despite the seriousness of this thread it was nice debating and talking with you oO, i hope to debate with you later on these boards

-Dan
 
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#8
WizardlyFriend said:
does the source of entertainment sound that sick? i mean when you played a prank on your friend was it fun? or was it something you dreaded to do and looked back on with disgust, but also happiness that it was over. I dont mean that we do it for sport or that it is a hobby. All i meant is that we are teenage boys who are immature. when three people can put a table over someones head and make them wake up to smash their face that's funny. not to them, but heh they'll have their fun and eventually it will be your turn to go to the slaughter, so to speak. i think everyone will work out in the end and i have my own theories as to why this event happened aside from the surface ones. but anyway, despite the seriousness of this thread it was nice debating and talking with you oO, i hope to debate with you later on these boards

-Dan
Hope to see you their
-o0oo00ooliii :rip: