WTF ... IS WTF!?
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friends--or are they?

skwabari_shtcak

sugar daddies welcome
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0
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#1
I have this "friend", I use the term loosely, that I have known for about 5 or 6 years now. At first it was fun, we would party together and I'd back her up when she got into a fight (she is kind of a trouble maker). She would help me out alot, emotionally, financially, whatever I needed basically. We moved out of the little hicktown we were living in together (I stayed with her for about 2 weeks and decided to move out because I knew we would start fightng eventually). Then when we she moved to a different province, I moved my family there a year later. She helped us find somewhere to live and helped furnish our place. She is really good in that aspect, but lately it's like I am there only when she needs a sitter or someone to do the grunt work where she works. I get paid for it but she rips me off everytime. I used to say something about it but then feel guilty because of all the stuff she has done for me. I asked her to be a bridesmaid at my wedding and she called me the day before to say she couldn't make it. That made me really mad but I got over it cause we went back home to get married and it is a long expensive trip. My husband is beginning to get really annoyed with the things she has been doing lately and figures I should just stop talking to her altogether. I kind of feel the same way but I don't know anyone here and we have been through alot together.

If anyone can give me some advice on how to deal with this I would kiss them (if I wasn't married, that is). :confused:
 

Shadow_Demon

Lord of Shadows
82
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#2
well it would seem that she is proverbilay "reaping what she sewed". In other words she is doing those things in retrebute for her doing you favors. My advice is to igure how much she helped you and compare it to how she has been recently trating you and then figure roughly just how much you should take versus how much she is giving you. After you figure that it is pretty easy to digue your next move. That would be from the sounds of it you have payed of your debt to her and should no longer have to put up with her doing those things to you.

Ohh if you take my advice dot freat about it its just something I do frequently.
 

ericman123

CEO of the internet
288
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#3
skwabari_shtcak said:
I have this "friend", I use the term loosely, that I have known for about 5 or 6 years now. At first it was fun, we would party together and I'd back her up when she got into a fight (she is kind of a trouble maker). She would help me out alot, emotionally, financially, whatever I needed basically. We moved out of the little hicktown we were living in together (I stayed with her for about 2 weeks and decided to move out because I knew we would start fightng eventually). Then when we she moved to a different province, I moved my family there a year later. She helped us find somewhere to live and helped furnish our place. She is really good in that aspect, but lately it's like I am there only when she needs a sitter or someone to do the grunt work where she works. I get paid for it but she rips me off everytime. I used to say something about it but then feel guilty because of all the stuff she has done for me. I asked her to be a bridesmaid at my wedding and she called me the day before to say she couldn't make it. That made me really mad but I got over it cause we went back home to get married and it is a long expensive trip. My husband is beginning to get really annoyed with the things she has been doing lately and figures I should just stop talking to her altogether. I kind of feel the same way but I don't know anyone here and we have been through alot together.

If anyone can give me some advice on how to deal with this I would kiss them (if I wasn't married, that is). :confused:
Sounds like she's exactly the same person you always knew. Difficult for people to get along with in the past and difficult for people to get along with now. However, don't forget that at one point you did like her. Circumstances have merely changed resulting in tension.

It is up to you to decide if she's worth it, as a person, to still hang out and associate with. If she's been a true friend who can't help being herself, maybe the best course of action is to confront her with your feelings while leaving your husband out of it.
 

BrIONwoshMunky

EVERYBODY LOVE EVERYBODY!
Staff
9,678
1,305
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#4
You're a woman, so you should be able to talk to her, if you can't, write her a letter. Outline why you feel the way you do. But make sure you don't actually blame her for anything. You don't want to actually start a fight if I'm hearing you correctly. Use the ole' "I feel.... ....when you..." lines to make your point. That way without actually calling her out, you can get your point across. If worse comes to worse, you can always say no. It's your right you know. NO ONE forces you to agree to what she asks.