Fuck I screwed up...again.

[magnolia]

Here's what happened. Last night I was depressed (again) and I shut off my web cam cuz I was tired of seeing myself. I said to my bf that I was done with it cuz I hate the way I look. Then we got into an argument about it all and I made him feel like shit. I always screw up like this and I always feel like a total shit the moment I say or do something like that. I know that he'll forgive me, but I still feel like crap for taking my frustration with myself out on him. All he's ever done is love me and be there for me when I needed him. I really don't deserve him, but I'm glad that I have him.

 

[G's-up]

Here's what happened. Last night I was depressed (again) and I shut off my web cam cuz I was tired of seeing myself. I said to my bf that I was done with it cuz I hate the way I look. Then we got into an argument about it all and I made him feel like shit. I always screw up like this and I always feel like a total shit the moment I say or do something like that. I know that he'll forgive me, but I still feel like crap for taking my frustration with myself out on him. All he's ever done is love me and be there for me when I needed him. I really don't deserve him, but I'm glad that I have him.

Hey girl, we all have bad days and times when we are not that happy with something about ourselves. Im sure that he understands that and you need to not be so hard on yourself. WE ALL have moments we wish we could take back all you can do is be understanding and forgiving when he has a bad day as well. Support each other and things will always work out. And QUIT selling yourself short you deserve the best and so does he....and it sounds like you are both winners there. ~peace~ :hug2:

 

[magnolia]

g, u always know what to say to make everything better. thanks.

 

[Unforgiven]

great... now i gotta spread some more rep around so i can give more to g

 

[magnolia]

haha. U give a lot of rep out, and u get a lot of rep in. :hug2: u's just one big sweety pie in desgise, huh?

 

[Unforgiven]

haha. U give a lot of rep out, and u get a lot of rep in. :hug2: u's just one big sweety pie in desgise, huh?

yep... that's me

 

[RGN-dRaGoN]

Here's what happened. Last night I was depressed (again) and I shut off my web cam cuz I was tired of seeing myself. I said to my bf that I was done with it cuz I hate the way I look. Then we got into an argument about it all and I made him feel like shit. I always screw up like this and I always feel like a total shit the moment I say or do something like that. I know that he'll forgive me, but I still feel like crap for taking my frustration with myself out on him. All he's ever done is love me and be there for me when I needed him. I really don't deserve him, but I'm glad that I have him.

u shouldnt hate the way u look, u should always be proud of who u r, dont let any one, or anything bring u down, talk to him, he will understand, theres a reason he chose u to be a gf, cause he sees the inside of you, he sees that inside of u.. is this buetiful girl and thas wat really matters, u derserve him 100%, u just need to see the INSIDE of u mag!! dont look at the outside, and tell urself ur ugly! look at wat REALLY matters... like he did...then u, with help from him, can pull urself out of this depression.

 

[Seije]

u shouldnt hate the way u look, u should always be proud of who u r, dont let any one, or anything bring u down, talk to him, he will understand, theres a reason he chose u to be a gf, cause he sees the inside of you, he sees that inside of u.. is this buetiful girl and thas wat really matters, u derserve him 100%, u just need to see the INSIDE of u mag!! dont look at the outside, and tell urself ur ugly! look at wat REALLY matters... like he did...then u, with help from him, can pull urself out of this depression.

good point...
sometimes i like the internet..not because ppl are so far away...but because you get to know the persons personality first w/o seeing each other..that way you get to know what they are like on the inside
that's why if I ever meet anyone after knowing them before hand, i won't think of them any different because i'll know they are the same good person inside and that's what really matters
you have to love yourself before you can love others, but sometimes the love from others can speed the process and make it better

 

[deus_ex_machina]

Here's what happened. Last night I was depressed (again) and I shut off my web cam cuz I was tired of seeing myself. I said to my bf that I was done with it cuz I hate the way I look. Then we got into an argument about it all and I made him feel like shit. I always screw up like this and I always feel like a total shit the moment I say or do something like that. I know that he'll forgive me, but I still feel like crap for taking my frustration with myself out on him. All he's ever done is love me and be there for me when I needed him. I really don't deserve him, but I'm glad that I have him.

aww mags. ill give you some rep points. hope they help. they are very nice. the green kind are only though so dont mess with red ones. they bite. hope you feel better.

 

[otepsoul]

Here's what happened. Last night I was depressed (again) and I shut off my web cam cuz I was tired of seeing myself. I said to my bf that I was done with it cuz I hate the way I look. Then we got into an argument about it all and I made him feel like shit. I always screw up like this and I always feel like a total shit the moment I say or do something like that. I know that he'll forgive me, but I still feel like crap for taking my frustration with myself out on him. All he's ever done is love me and be there for me when I needed him. I really don't deserve him, but I'm glad that I have him.

aww come here maggs ill give you a hug.

 

[magnolia]

haha. comes to otep for that hug.

And on another note, I know that a lot of ppl have told me that I souldn't be so depressed about looks, or even worry about it so much, but maybe I can give you a little glimpse into my twisted mindset. All my life I was heavy. No, not heavy, I was fat. In 4th grade I already weighed over 100 lbs. By 8th grade, I was wearing a size 18 (which was too tight, but I wouldn't admit it at the time.) and I toped the scales somewhere around 225-230 lbs. So, even though I've lost a ton of weight, I still see myself as the fat girl. I don't know that that'll ever change. So anyway, there's just a little look into my psycho head. I hope I didn't do too much damage to ya. hehe.

And thanks again for all the hugs! Reading this has really made me feel better with each new addition. :hug2:

 

[mariusthegreat]

mags ..its hard to change the way you percieve yourself...youve had that image of yourself instilled in you..and its going to take someone like your bf to realize otherwise...once you see that anything other than whats in your heart..and head....is superficial...your bf sees that...and he is lucky to have someone like you...who is beautiful in the inisde....i hope you see yourself as the real you...the mags inside....

 

[Seije]

i just hate ppl (no wait) i hate the way ppl think about a persons image....
...but i'm also tired of hearing 'god made everyone special in his own image' no offense to any religious ppl out there....
but if ppl can't see the beauty in others, then they're f'ed up, and i'm not talking about just inner beauty, i mean overall....why must we always say what's inside is important, and it's true no doubt...but we also have to love others for their appearance, i believe i can see it this way becuz appearance isn't what i'm looking for in a girl, i am seeking the lovable nice personality...but it doesn't mean i can't fall in love with their looks too..
this is too hard for me to explain, in other words, if i love your personality, i'll love urself.....
those really really hot chicks that always seem to be dumb in some way cuz they only care about their looks really don't affect me at all...i mean like..of course they're hot..but they're not my type i guess u could say

 

[Unforgiven]

haha. comes to otep for that hug.

And on another note, I know that a lot of ppl have told me that I souldn't be so depressed about looks, or even worry about it so much, but maybe I can give you a little glimpse into my twisted mindset. All my life I was heavy. No, not heavy, I was fat. In 4th grade I already weighed over 100 lbs. By 8th grade, I was wearing a size 18 (which was too tight, but I wouldn't admit it at the time.) and I toped the scales somewhere around 225-230 lbs. So, even though I've lost a ton of weight, I still see myself as the fat girl. I don't know that that'll ever change. So anyway, there's just a little look into my psycho head. I hope I didn't do too much damage to ya. hehe.

And thanks again for all the hugs! Reading this has really made me feel better with each new addition. :hug2:

in that case, have another :hug2:

feel da wub

 

[Icarus]

[/ProjectileVomit]

I think the moral of this story is that Hallmark is the best company ever. In fact, I feel like I should by some cards right now.

And I'm thirsty... does anybody have Powerade?

In all seriousness, I hope you can find a way to be comfortable with your body. It's the only one you'll ever have (and you should treat it with respect, as well as own that sum'bitch... it's not your boss!).

 

[deus_ex_machina]

Here's what happened. Last night I was depressed (again) and I shut off my web cam cuz I was tired of seeing myself. I said to my bf that I was done with it cuz I hate the way I look. Then we got into an argument about it all and I made him feel like shit. I always screw up like this and I always feel like a total shit the moment I say or do something like that. I know that he'll forgive me, but I still feel like crap for taking my frustration with myself out on him. All he's ever done is love me and be there for me when I needed him. I really don't deserve him, but I'm glad that I have him.

dont be sad maggie, your a MODERATOR which is what i aim to be soon

 

[Seije]

dont be sad maggie, your a MODERATOR which is what i aim to be soon

yea, congrats on that

 

[dhpoz24]

Yeah, i know

Yeah i get what youre talking about. I always do the same thing to my girlfriend and the thing is, she acts as if what i said or did didnt bother her and i keep asking for her forgiveness cause i want her to know that im the one she can count on for moral, emotional, and spritual support but with what i do, blowing up at her, pushes her back which really pisses me off, but i know i cuased it. In reasponse to how you think of yourself, to truely understand whether or not you're the way you percive yourself to be, you need to have an outside opinion. And your loved one is a perfect example. And im sure when he does say good things about you, you dont really think he means them because he's your boyfriend and thats what a boyfreind is supposed to do, but believe you me, NO WAY!!