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Fun things to do to telemarketers

Nunzii

®åvïñg §hëêþðhò£íç
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#1
1 If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work, if they are married, how many kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.

2 Say "no" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one, and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.

3 If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"

4 If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog has the gout..."

5 If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"

6 Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back. When the telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Me either!" Hang up.

7 Ask them to repeat everything they say several times.

8 Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"

9 Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up... louder... louder...

10 When the salesperson asks, "Is this the homeowner?" say, "Is this the salesperson?" and when they say, "Yes," hang up.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#2
lol those are pretty good! :thumbsup: you should get the rest of them......i read a bunch of good ones way back in the day
 

Freakless

One Horn3y Mofo
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#3
I always pretend to be on the verge of killing myself, telling them that I am getting out my razors and shit.... and I have this funky screaming sound clip that I play, its scary as shit for them I think lol.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
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#4
Freakless said:
I always pretend to be on the verge of killing myself, telling them that I am getting out my razors and shit.... and I have this funky screaming sound clip that I play, its scary as shit for them I think lol.
can you upload it?
 

Nunzii

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#5
blah

i really hate when your talking to someone and they call and you hear "Hello is mr. doe there" i'll be like ummm *click* :mfinger:
 

Nunzii

®åvïñg §hëêþðhò£íç
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#6
Prank Calls

i make prank calls with soundboards i find on the internet. If someone makes them to upload em i wanna hear :p i'll see if i can find mine and upload them
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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#7
telemarketers are pure evil... demons shat from the bowels of hell to torture and destroy our way of life... prolly why I worked as one for a bit... heh
but i do love messing with them... keeps em on thier toes..
 

Noob

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#8
You should also speak Spanish. :thumbsup:
 

Infidel

The Militia
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#9
A bubbly thigh said:
You should also speak Spanish. :thumbsup:
German works even better.

I like to carry a 10 minute conversation with folks who call my house on accident/wrong number. Then I ask, who's this?
 

Zickddot

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#10
1. Tell them you've gotten into a freak accident or someting like you spill salsa into your eyes

2.For every reply just scream like a baboon.

3.Ask them if they are a famous person playing a trick on them."Oh Brad Pitt, you're such a kidder, how's the wife?"

4.Wait until they're about to hang up and scream into the phone.

5.Ask them if they will help you find your pet gerbal.
 

Infidel

The Militia
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#11
Zickddot said:
1. Tell them you've gotten into a freak accident or someting like you spill salsa into your eyes

2.For every reply just scream like a baboon.

3.Ask them if they are a famous person playing a trick on them."Oh Brad Pitt, you're such a kidder, how's the wife?"

4.Wait until they're about to hang up and scream into the phone.

5.Ask them if they will help you find your pet gerbal.
Just act like there is something going on that you are paying attention to. You know, talk to them, but act distant and use laconic answers.
 
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#12
My neighbor tried this when the telemarkter called and wouldn't hang up he said he was robbing the house, but the cops ended up coming
 

Billybob

Gimmie Pwnies
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#13
When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm
so glad you asked because no one these days seems to
care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God!
Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy
a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out
where the hell she could know you from.

If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for
bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.

Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask
them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you
can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they
cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer
will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"

Tell them to talk V-E-R-Y V-E-R-Y S-L-O-W-L-Y, because
you want to write down EVERY WORD.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/telemarket.shtml
 

Zoso

Zappafied
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#14
when i used to live in VA there was a morning show on the radio i listened to religiously. there was this one time when a telemarketer called the DJ at his home and he told them to call back in ten minutes. when they did, he had some radio equipment set up and sound machines. he made it sound like his house was on fire and that his kids were burning to death. he even had his daughter in the backround screaming... they were selling vacuum cleaners and he asked if he should leave to safety and save his kids or stay on the line and buy a vacuum. they told him to please stay on and asked him for a credit card number!!!!
 

</rant>

Tenderony
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#15
I like to waste their time and increase their phonebills. They ask for Mr. Whoever, I say one moment I'll just get him. Put the phone on loud speaker and carry on what I was doing. Hear them explain to the manager why they aren't chatting shit. heh.

Longest I've had is ten minutes.

</rant>
 

Zoso

Zappafied
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#17
one day a telemarketer called my house looking for my mom. i started to cry and said my mom had died two hours ago in a horrible crash. after a brief pause, he said he was sorry, and asked if I was interested in switching phone companys... i was just messing with him but still. these people are heartless. lol.
 

Woodreaux

Original Dicksman
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#18
I usually tell them to hold on, walk into the bathroom and flush the toilet. Then I ask if they are still there, let them talk for 5 seconds then I make straiing noises and flush again. I keep doing this until they hang up.
Lately, I haven't heard from any human telemarketters, it's all been recordings. I just hang up immediately.
 

SouthWolf

I'll fuck you up!!!
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#19
Either pretend or do it for real but start having sex and if you are a girl be very vocal and a guy be out of breathe. When they ask if it is a bad time say no that you are very interested in what they have to say and continue unitill they hang up.
 

Billybob

Gimmie Pwnies
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#20
if MCI ever calls you, you know where they live...


ROCKFORD, IL
that's their headquarter