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Funny Jokes (really)

Blaze Daily

<b>Banned - What an Asshat!</b>
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#1
What is black and white and red all over?

A newspaper.

Boom-boom.

Hey, kids, I got more, c'mere.

There was this nun, she said candles out to the sisters....slllluuuuuurrrrrrrrrrpppppppp!

Okies...I got anudda...There was this young kid just turning 18, and his father got him a blue kawasaki motor bike for his birthday. The kid wanted to go across state on a road trip, so his father let him. He watched his son leave on his bike, and the son set off on his journey. Further into the night the son run into some trouble out in the wilderness. A puncture on the rear tyre. Shit, he thought. Hauled his bike to the side and made his way down a side road. He came upon a large house. It was a monastery with a beautiful lead roof. The boy knocked on the door, and an abbot answered. He explained his problems with the bike, and the Abbot, with good will, offered him shelter and to fix the bike in the morning. The boy grateful, accepted and bed down for the night.

Come morning, the Abbot found himself with the other monks laying outside on the grass. They woke to find the lead roof missing and the boy gone. Confused, but resolute, they decided to start the arduous task of rebuilding the roof. The Abbot decided this time the roof will be made out of bronze, to prosper on such a loss.

One year passes, and it is the boys 19th birthday. He decides to make the same road trip as the year before. His father agrees. The boy is travelling the same strip of road at night as when he had is puncture, and as fate had it, he had another.

The boy takes the bike knowing of the local monastery. He arrives, and sees the monks putting on the last peices of the roof. He knocks on the door, and the Abbot answers. He sees the boy and says 'YOU!' He questions the boy over the missing roof, and why they were all found outside in the morning. But the young boy reassures the Abbot that he left way before any of that happened. He explains of the same problem, and asks for the same favour in return. The Abbot accepts and gives him shelter.

The next morning, the Abbot and the monks awake on the grass outside and find their bronze roof gone, as is the boy. The Abbot cannot believe he has been tricked twice, and ever resolute decides to make a roof out of Gold, so as to prosper from such bad luck.

One year passes, and on the boys birthday, he decides to make the same road trip. Along the same stretch of road, the boy thinks of the monastery. He makes a detour and visits the Abbot, whom was so gracious in caring for him in his hour of need.

The boy knocks at the door, and the Abbot answers - 'YOU!' he shouts. And accuses the boy of stealing the roof. The boy explains how he is only visiting out of good will for the Abbot, and has no idea over the stolen roof. The Abbot, listens to his story, and decides to give him the benefit of the doubt, and offers him shelter.

However, this time the Abbot decides to stay awake. And wait he did, into the early hours of the morning when doubting his own inventions over the boy hears a clunk...clunk....clunk coming from outside. The Abbot ventures out only to find the boy taking each piece of the gold roof one by one and loading them into a sack. He chases the boy only to find the boy gets on his blue kowasaki motorcycle and speeds away.

However, the boy didn't know that the Abbot had a RED kowasaki motorcycle, which he proceeded to jump on and speed after the boy. The boy on seeing the Abbot chasing him accellerated, which in turn only made the Abbot speed ahead faster, and the two were neck and neck, one head, then the other, for many miles, until the boy realised he had an extra gear and left the Abbot behind.

The moral of the story: blue motorcycles are faster than red ones.

peace out...I love ya.
 

Piro

From appaled to applauding, controversy.
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#2
what about green ones?