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funny shit to laugh at later in life

#1
put up some stuff that you would do that you would laugh at later

for example
I went into a walmart and stared at the guns in the sporting goods department. looking all depressed. :( when the clerk or whatever came over ask what was wrong i said " Got any anti-depressants??"
life does suck but at least learn to laugh at yourself
and bring up your self esteem you ugly lump of shit.
 

Bigfoot

Clitpickle
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#2
Or when you girlfriend leaves you for one of the preppy guys then gets pregneant and has to drop out.
 
#3
Bigfoot said:
Or when you girlfriend leaves you for one of the preppy guys then gets pregneant and has to drop out.
yes yes
thats shit that you laugh at later in life that you should remember
Use a rubber! babies suck!!
 
#6
teriyaki Rotisserie style
teriyaki jerky
kind of hard to think that what you are eating came out of a vagina
possibly one that you know

:confused:
 
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#8
damn it all

I didn't read the thread, so I'm sure this look awkward juxtaposed with all of your messages.

Yeah, just now I got back from this stupid extra credit assignment for my Spanish class- I had to go take Salsa Dancing lessons. Honestly, I have two left feet and no coordination. There were about 20 girls in attendance, myself included and three guys. When we paired off this guy grabbed me close to him. Goddamn it I kept fucking up (doing the step onto his foot) and he kept laughing at me. To put this in perspective, our room was full of beginners learning the damn dance, but 3 of the 5 instructors decided to surround me and the guy and try and correct my mistakes for an hour. Fuck, and they laughed at me too. fuck salsa. :sword:

i hope i can laugh at this tomorrow when I meet with my class and they all tell my professor.
 

AryzSeyr

domain_lord_over_nothing
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#9
plan

see i gota plan to stop those naughty babies from poppin out
i'm gonna start savin up sperm till i got enough to last me though life incase i want kids later
were savin that in a sperm bank ( i wonder at the rent) than were makin it so i can't get a girl pregnet ... ever without my frozen babie juice and on purpose....i wonder how long it lasts?
 

ron

Buster of Asses
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#10
High school is funny shit to laugh at later in life. High school jocks are even funnier, as they ask if you want fries with that.
 
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#11
ron said:
High school is funny shit to laugh at later in life. High school jocks are even funnier, as they ask if you want fries with that.
Yea, it's amazing to go out and see how many people I went to high school with that have 3 kids, and working a dead-end job. Good times. Good times.
 
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#12
High School Jocks

Yes you get to laugh at them later. I just went to my 20 year reunion. All that early life testosterone leaves them with no hair and most likely overweight. I have a full head of hair over a foot long, my pecker works and my 25 year old ballerina girlfriend kicked ass on their wives. Ha Ha Ha. In truth I didn't care if I fit in back then and went to lengths not to. They are all smoking dope trying to remember when they were on top and not knowing what to do. They flamed out early and now are in a state of slow decay. I'd dance on their early turned graves if I had enough interest to bother making time to find their headstones.
 
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#13
Apoplectic said:
Yes you get to laugh at them later. I just went to my 20 year reunion. All that early life testosterone leaves them with no hair and most likely overweight. I have a full head of hair over a foot long, my pecker works and my 25 year old ballerina girlfriend kicked ass on their wives. Ha Ha Ha. In truth I didn't care if I fit in back then and went to lengths not to. They are all smoking dope trying to remember when they were on top and not knowing what to do. They flamed out early and now are in a state of slow decay. I'd dance on their early turned graves if I had enough interest to bother making time to find their headstones.
That was truly beautiful.
 
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#14
ron said:
High school is funny shit to laugh at later in life. High school jocks are even funnier, as they ask if you want fries with that.
i know... however, the fact that most of them end up working at mcdonalds is a myth...

cause all the ones i know ended up at burger king...
 

King Goldfish

Banned - What an Asshat!
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#15
off the subject but When i was working at Taco Bell as a teen some 20 years ago I remember how they had 10 pounds of ground meat in these dishwasher tubs in the walk in fridge and it was always brown and smelled rotten and flies would be buzzing around in there. i dont know how they ever passed inspection.
 

chubz

fluffy teh penguin
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#16
King Goldfish said:
off the subject but When i was working at Taco Bell as a teen some 20 years ago I remember how they had 10 pounds of ground meat in these dishwasher tubs in the walk in fridge and it was always brown and smelled rotten and flies would be buzzing around in there. i dont know how they ever passed inspection.
that constitues as beeing only a wee bit off topic. . .

i like tacobell
 

morelos

lexicon incognito
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#17
lol that's some funny shit to laugh at later in life; if you live long enough. :p

taco bell is TERRIBLE for you, y'kno?
 

twofivekidd9

Big Floppy Donkey Dong
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#18
One thing I will always remember is when one of my dumbass friends called me homophobic of spiders. What a fucking dumbshit.


Oh this one time I was with this chick at a friends house, and as I walked her out to the car, I ran into the lightpole outside his house. Fucking hurt like hell.
 
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#19
in 6 years i'm gonna look back at my life and realize what a dumbass i've been.
 

chubz

fluffy teh penguin
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#20
morelos said:
taco bell is TERRIBLE for you, y'kno?
taco bell is bad for u but it tastes good, and who cares if its bad for u?
richard simmons can kiss my ass
ihop is my health food place
twofivekidd9 said:
One thing I will always remember is when one of my dumbass friends called me homophobic of spiders. What a fucking dumbshit.


Oh this one time I was with this chick at a friends house, and as I walked her out to the car, I ran into the lightpole outside his house. Fucking hurt like hell.
wait u ran into said poll or walked into it. . . ive walked into lots of stuff it doesnt hurt that bad, but ifin you were to run into a fucking lamp post, im ablivious to how the fuck u managed that, i geuss it would work

and more off topic shit i stumbled upon this on gibble guts

This is an actual job application that a 17 year old boy submitted to McDonald's in Florida... and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.