WTF ... IS WTF!?
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Gettin old sucks

Spaced Man

WTFus is the Ruckus
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#1
My back always hurts

8 hours of work completely exhausts me

Alcohol only makes me tired

Me and my friends ideas of fun is sitting on the couch and watching Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia for the 17th time while drinking and getting tired after inly 7 beers because it's too hot outside, or it's too cold outside, and our attempt at bundling up has made us too hot, so it becomes a competition to see who will be the only one up after 11 so you can draw a moustache on their face with permanent marker, but you can't because they still remember to take their shoes off because they aren't teenagers anymore, so you just have to settle for waking them up and telling to go home because they're pussies who can't even handle five beers even though you know full well you'll fall asleep 20 minutes after they leave because your body is becoming a pussy, too.

Unfortunately, these mundane gatherings only happen like once a month because everyone is too busy.

I never have disposable income

Weed has become boring

I sometimes am tempted to watch golf.

I'm only 26.

Goddamnitwhatthefuckitsalldownhillfromhereisntit
 
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#2
Here's an idea, stop drinking! Give that a shot and see if your situation improves. Maybe go see a doctor about your fucked up back while you're at it.

P.S. The pun was intentional af.
 

CoprophagousCop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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#3
My back always hurts
Is it your lower back or your upper back?

If it is your lower back, then you may have pulled a muscle. To get the muscle to rebuild properly you need to do two things: 1. Stimulate your back muscles by stretching. This may hurt at first, so do not over do it. Gradually you will be able to stretch further and further. 2. Eat lots of protein. Our bodies do not recycle tissue so you have to eat new protein to build new muscle. Not eating enough protein will lead to your muscles continuing to hurt.

If it is your upper back that hurts, then you are probably bending over a lot. Periodically, stop and stretch throughout the day.
 
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vistascan

They're out to get me
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#7
I just turned 27. When do I get my cane to shake at the youngin'?
 

Scooter

Roll me up and smoke me when I die.
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#9
You have until your 30's to feel young and strong again. Make the best of it. Once you hit 40, the devil starts crawling up your ass..
 

BridgetteH

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#10
Once you hit 40, the devil starts crawling up your ass..




I will say, Scooter, you seem and look younger than your age. Which, I've only seen you under the flawlessness of a glittery filter, so I could be wrong, but I want whatever water you're drinking when I'm 48 :p
 

-=iNsANe=-ADJ

I once ate broccoli
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#11
I will say, Scooter, you seem and look younger than your age. Which, I've only seen you under the flawlessness of a glittery filter, so I could be wrong, but I want whatever water you're drinking when I'm 48 :p
The catch is that he doesn't drink water. Water makes rust, don't drink water.
 

Jung

???
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#13
I'm 37 and I'm more active now than I was when I was 18 in the Army. It's all about what you want. I'm usually stuck behind a monitor 10-12 hrs a day during the week, so on the weekend I want to be outdoors so I make a point to camp, hike, kayak, fish, BMX/mntn, bike, festival bender whatever as much as possible. I definitely feel old and bitchy at times, and my collection of injuries is seriosuly starting to add up, but if anything that's my primary motivation for just getting out and doing what the fuck I want while I still can.
 

Kalesalad

Flame Bait
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#14
I think I have diagnosed your problem:
You have forgotten how to drink.

See here is the thing, alcohol is the (debatable) ultimate party drug for a reason- it makes you FEEL GREAT!
But there is a problem with drinking, and that is it's also a downer aka will make you feel tired.
According to my past experience you need to create a plan to find the perfect beverage ratio.
After x amount of beverages, YOU FORGET YOU'RE TIRED but be careful son, because push it too hard and you crash into pass out territory and you and me both know you don't want the dreaded mustache you mentioned.

I have crafted a graph for you to help you get back into shape:




See your problem is you stop at 7. Clearly from the graph you are on your way up, but not quite at hype level.
According to my calculations you need to increase your beverage intake by at least 2 (preferably chugging) to get to HYPE MODE.

My RX to you is to invite some fine bitches over to your sweet pad and start off the night chugging a few to get the party going. Start a game of strip poker, and get your lady pals and pal pals naked.
Be sure not to pass the 15 mark, for you may dive straight into unconsciousness.

Warning- tolerances my vary





ps: 8 hour shifts are nuthin pal, caffeine is a legal stimulant so society wont frown upon heavy abuse TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT
 

53V3N

The slow blade penetrates the shield.
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#15
lil' scamp. *tousles hair*

Shit changes as you age. It's not bad, it's just different. Let go of what you thought aging was going to be and just do you. You have plenty of time to turn into a sour cunt.

On the subject of your back: Yeah, look for something you can do that isn't physical. I fucked my lower back doing landscaping when I was young so I turned to other talents at my disposal (porn) that would get me through. You're probably not hung like me, but I'm sure there's something else you can do.

You are absolutely young enough to enter something new that isn't physical and master it and make beacoup bucks.
 

CoprophagousCop

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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#16
I fucked my lower back doing landscaping when I was young so I turned to other talents at my disposal (porn) that would get me through.
How can you do porn with a bad back, unless all you do is kneel? :p
 

MisterFister

There's a very good chance that I don't care.
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#18
Getting older is good up until a point and that point is right around 35. Pre-35 the years stack underneath you and lift you up. Every year post-35 the years stack on top of you and weigh you down. What's REALLY cool is when your mind is still sharp but you start noticing your body doesn't seem to want to respond. "Hey, I'll just hop on up atop this here thingy magoo and"...wtf man. "somebody get me a 2' ladder".

And then you start waking up right around 2 am to take a piss you've never had to take before. Where did this come from?
Then one day that consistent 6 am boner that could cut diamonds has quietly retired to some far off travel park and left behind it's mildly retarded step brother named "Mushroom Cap McGee".
Then you start eating almonds and some kind of twig and branch breakfast cereal not because you like them but because your will to have a nice solid bowel movement has magically taken precedence over things that actually taste good. Then as you look over at your wife you see your mother-in-law and wonder how its all gone so wrong. That's about the same time you look down in horror as your balls decide its time to start taking a bath in the toilet water.

I'd not mad or anything...I'd just appreciate it if you'd turn that goddamn fucking radio down.
 

Jung

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#19
^Literally none of that applies to me lol.

The biggest thing that bothers me is all the fucking grey hairs that've started popping up in my beard over the past yr.
 

Crazizniac

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#20
Hey Bridge! At the current rate of deterioration of the old guard WTFers your Mobile - Ass - Wipe franchise could really take off. If I buy the vans can I be your CFO?