EDIT: Read the whole thing to get to the funny parts.
Wondering what a Vasudan is?
Getting out of his trashed fighter, Ko'Yaan is frazzled. The longest battle he'd ever had to endure took
a toll on his Vasudan body. He wondered where his girlfriend was...after all, she'd been injured from a
nasty fall taken on the quarterdeck. He thought to himself, "I guess those 'Do not lean' signs are there
for a reason."
He went to the hospital unit, only to find her in bed, practically unconscious.
"Shit. I really wanted some ass tonight..."
Suddenly, he felt a small hand touch his asshole.
"WHOA!" The words bellowed through his squeaker, a device used to communicate with Terrans (Humans). It's
raspy, digitized voice bellowed through the entire room. He must have forgot to switch it off after the
last battle.
All of a sudden, he sees this small Terran nurse walk beside him. She couldn't have been more than five
feet tall, which was highly uncommon for a Terran in the year 2367. Ko'Yaan was seven feet tall, like
many other Vasundans he knew.
He was awestruck. She appeared to be a mix of Japanese and Irish descent. He took one look at the fiery
blue eyes and smiled.
Unlike other Vasudans, Ko'Yaan viewed Terrans as equals, not as inferiors. He engulfed himself in Terran
literature and history, and he loved being in their company. Terrans enjoyed him too, and he was the sole
stereotype breaker onboard the GTD Aquitaine.
No matter how much he loved Terrans, he couldn't understand why he was falling for one himself...Let alone
vice versa.
"Hey. Want to come back to my quarters?" She said, in a cute, high pitched voice.
Ko'Yaan popped a boner, well, if you could call it a boner. More like a fleshy tounge-like growth that
popped out from his torso.
He sucked it back in, and he replied in a very lusty "Yes..."
Two minutes later, back in her quarters, she started undressing.
It was at this point his Vasudan love-maker grew to a massive eight inches, and he really wanted a
sucking. Hell, an ass bang or two would have been great.
He took off his combat suit, and picked her up by the head with one hand. He lay down on the bed and put
her on his slimy, sweet smelling wanker.
"OHHH!" She screamed. She had never felt so pleasured in her life.
"Your penis...is amazing. It's so wet and juicy..."
"Penis?" Ko'Yaan said in a very curious tone.
"Oh, that's what us Terrans call your little tweeter pleaser."
"Ahhh, I see."
It was at this point his cum spurted out everywhere, blasting her bed, her tits, and her ass. More
importantly, her twat was filled fully.
"Are you a Mikado world champion?" She yelped.
"Why yes. Have you ever heard of the amazing Johnny Kuntz?" He responded.
"That's right! He was killed back in 2005 by a mob of angry moderators. Who was the one who killed him
again...?"
"He went by the alias BRiT. Ironically, he was a Pollock."
"Much like Descent, the writer of this story. Well, part Pollock..."
"Shhhh! You're not supposed to break the fourth wall!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Let's carry on."
"No, I'm tired. Do you have a virtual mikado machine in your pocket?"
"Sorry. I wish I did."
"Hey, I've got an idea! Let's go read up on Rek1!"
"Rgr, lol!"
"I didn't know Vasudans spoke AOLer, let alone know what an AOLer is..."
"I don't. MaxPower has been spamming my inbox lately. You know, with stuff like, "Hey cutie! Want to
have wild alien buttseckz?! I R SO 1337."
"I have some of the spam right here!"
He took out his PDA, and connected to the interwebnetssuperinformationdirtroad. He went to WTF.COM, and
saw twenty new PM's from him, along with 15,000 new rep points that all had a winky face and an AIM dick
for the comment.
"Here's one. What the fuck?! UGH!"
An MSPainted pictured of MaxPower Goatseing the camera with the words:
"IBWANTSEXX0RYOU. PICS PLZ.
KTHXBYE,
MAX."
"Oh, and here's another!"
Maxpower was fucking an Asian guy in the ass, whilst giving him a reacharound with the catcher's own shit.
It was GarnetXero.
The text:
"THIS WAZ THE CLOSEST THIGN I COULF GET TO A VASUDAN. SUCK ME PLZ?????
WUV,
MAX."
"Hey! HavokChylde just PMed me!"
"HAVOK: Hey dude, I hear Max is trying to bone your tender little asshole.
Can I suck your dick while he does it?"
"I tell you, this forum is getting weirder by the day." Ko'Yaan said with disgust.
'NEW PM: JASON: Y HALO THAR!'
He opens it.
"Hey, we're having the annual WTF.COM get together tomorrow. Can you come? I bought a chastity belt for
Max and Havok, they won't be bothering you."
'REPLY: You sure 'bout that?!'
"Oh sorry honey, forgot you were there!"
She was sucking the cum out of her cunt with a rubber hose. At that point, he realized:
"WHOA! That's Yotaka! I just committed statuatory rape!"
"Don't worry, I won't tell
."
"Holy shit. Gotta bail!"
He jumped in his fighter, and took off towards the GVD Psamtik, where you can fuck anyone you want!
All of a sudden, BrainWashMonkey comes on the intercom.
"The pope wants you to give me a rimjob! Report to the flight deck at 12:10 sharp. You have your
orders."
"Since when did they promote you to Admiral?!"
"Ever since I gave the random Black guy in charge of command the best blowjob of his life. You ever try
using Smuckers?"
"No."
"It makes the penis tingle, and it makes your ordinary dick taste like cheese and grapes! You should try
it, it's amazing."
"Okay. So what do I need for this mission?"
"We've loaded your missle banks with Smuckers Jam. If you need to use a missle, we have an Estes model
rocket strapped to the bottom of your ship. You can press that button on the remote and it will fire."
"Does it have any explosives?"
"Yes. There's a bag of Descent's bed shit strapped to it."
"Great. Do I have lasers?"
"Yes, the generic ones. We can't spend too much."
"Well, okay. Entering subspace now!"
"RGR, LOL!"
"gl, hf"
And so, with that, our hero sped into the night, awaiting what would be an amazing promotion back home.
Wondering what a Vasudan is?
Getting out of his trashed fighter, Ko'Yaan is frazzled. The longest battle he'd ever had to endure took
a toll on his Vasudan body. He wondered where his girlfriend was...after all, she'd been injured from a
nasty fall taken on the quarterdeck. He thought to himself, "I guess those 'Do not lean' signs are there
for a reason."
He went to the hospital unit, only to find her in bed, practically unconscious.
"Shit. I really wanted some ass tonight..."
Suddenly, he felt a small hand touch his asshole.
"WHOA!" The words bellowed through his squeaker, a device used to communicate with Terrans (Humans). It's
raspy, digitized voice bellowed through the entire room. He must have forgot to switch it off after the
last battle.
All of a sudden, he sees this small Terran nurse walk beside him. She couldn't have been more than five
feet tall, which was highly uncommon for a Terran in the year 2367. Ko'Yaan was seven feet tall, like
many other Vasundans he knew.
He was awestruck. She appeared to be a mix of Japanese and Irish descent. He took one look at the fiery
blue eyes and smiled.
Unlike other Vasudans, Ko'Yaan viewed Terrans as equals, not as inferiors. He engulfed himself in Terran
literature and history, and he loved being in their company. Terrans enjoyed him too, and he was the sole
stereotype breaker onboard the GTD Aquitaine.
No matter how much he loved Terrans, he couldn't understand why he was falling for one himself...Let alone
vice versa.
"Hey. Want to come back to my quarters?" She said, in a cute, high pitched voice.
Ko'Yaan popped a boner, well, if you could call it a boner. More like a fleshy tounge-like growth that
popped out from his torso.
He sucked it back in, and he replied in a very lusty "Yes..."
Two minutes later, back in her quarters, she started undressing.
It was at this point his Vasudan love-maker grew to a massive eight inches, and he really wanted a
sucking. Hell, an ass bang or two would have been great.
He took off his combat suit, and picked her up by the head with one hand. He lay down on the bed and put
her on his slimy, sweet smelling wanker.
"OHHH!" She screamed. She had never felt so pleasured in her life.
"Your penis...is amazing. It's so wet and juicy..."
"Penis?" Ko'Yaan said in a very curious tone.
"Oh, that's what us Terrans call your little tweeter pleaser."
"Ahhh, I see."
It was at this point his cum spurted out everywhere, blasting her bed, her tits, and her ass. More
importantly, her twat was filled fully.
"Are you a Mikado world champion?" She yelped.
"Why yes. Have you ever heard of the amazing Johnny Kuntz?" He responded.
"That's right! He was killed back in 2005 by a mob of angry moderators. Who was the one who killed him
again...?"
"He went by the alias BRiT. Ironically, he was a Pollock."
"Much like Descent, the writer of this story. Well, part Pollock..."
"Shhhh! You're not supposed to break the fourth wall!"
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Let's carry on."
"No, I'm tired. Do you have a virtual mikado machine in your pocket?"
"Sorry. I wish I did."
"Hey, I've got an idea! Let's go read up on Rek1!"
"Rgr, lol!"
"I didn't know Vasudans spoke AOLer, let alone know what an AOLer is..."
"I don't. MaxPower has been spamming my inbox lately. You know, with stuff like, "Hey cutie! Want to
have wild alien buttseckz?! I R SO 1337."
"I have some of the spam right here!"
He took out his PDA, and connected to the interwebnetssuperinformationdirtroad. He went to WTF.COM, and
saw twenty new PM's from him, along with 15,000 new rep points that all had a winky face and an AIM dick
for the comment.
"Here's one. What the fuck?! UGH!"
An MSPainted pictured of MaxPower Goatseing the camera with the words:
"IBWANTSEXX0RYOU. PICS PLZ.
KTHXBYE,
MAX."
"Oh, and here's another!"
Maxpower was fucking an Asian guy in the ass, whilst giving him a reacharound with the catcher's own shit.
It was GarnetXero.
The text:
"THIS WAZ THE CLOSEST THIGN I COULF GET TO A VASUDAN. SUCK ME PLZ?????
WUV,
MAX."
"Hey! HavokChylde just PMed me!"
"HAVOK: Hey dude, I hear Max is trying to bone your tender little asshole.
Can I suck your dick while he does it?"
"I tell you, this forum is getting weirder by the day." Ko'Yaan said with disgust.
'NEW PM: JASON: Y HALO THAR!'
He opens it.
"Hey, we're having the annual WTF.COM get together tomorrow. Can you come? I bought a chastity belt for
Max and Havok, they won't be bothering you."
'REPLY: You sure 'bout that?!'
"Oh sorry honey, forgot you were there!"
She was sucking the cum out of her cunt with a rubber hose. At that point, he realized:
"WHOA! That's Yotaka! I just committed statuatory rape!"
"Don't worry, I won't tell
.""Holy shit. Gotta bail!"
He jumped in his fighter, and took off towards the GVD Psamtik, where you can fuck anyone you want!
All of a sudden, BrainWashMonkey comes on the intercom.
"The pope wants you to give me a rimjob! Report to the flight deck at 12:10 sharp. You have your
orders."
"Since when did they promote you to Admiral?!"
"Ever since I gave the random Black guy in charge of command the best blowjob of his life. You ever try
using Smuckers?"
"No."
"It makes the penis tingle, and it makes your ordinary dick taste like cheese and grapes! You should try
it, it's amazing."
"Okay. So what do I need for this mission?"
"We've loaded your missle banks with Smuckers Jam. If you need to use a missle, we have an Estes model
rocket strapped to the bottom of your ship. You can press that button on the remote and it will fire."
"Does it have any explosives?"
"Yes. There's a bag of Descent's bed shit strapped to it."
"Great. Do I have lasers?"
"Yes, the generic ones. We can't spend too much."
"Well, okay. Entering subspace now!"
"RGR, LOL!"
"gl, hf"
And so, with that, our hero sped into the night, awaiting what would be an amazing promotion back home.
