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God Corp. Recalls Defective Products

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#1
Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Today, God Corp. annouced it would be recalling various product lines that have had various defective parts in them. If you purchased a Baptist with a D.O.B. of 1800AD or later, a Britain with a D.O.B. of 1200AD or later, or a Jew with a D.O.B. of 1600AD or later, you may be affected. CEO/President/Lead Technician/P.R. Consultant Jehova Allah God said the ramifications of the recalls were a long time in coming.

The first and most serious recall deals with a D.O.B. 1800AD+ Baptist, in which the logic co-processor is almost certainly guaranteed to be dead, which may result in racism, stupidity, low I.Q.'s, and Bible thumping. Vishnu Corp. is offering a free depot repair for the issue with their bad logic co-processors, but the installation will most likely fail if your Baptist is inbred due to incorrect circuitry. If your Baptist has any sort of intelligence whatsoever about something other than the Bible you are totally unaffected and can continue using your Baptist for whatever purposes may need be.

Anyone who purchased a Britain with a D.O.B. of 1200AD+ will most likely have defective teeth that need immediate replacement, and can affect anything from eating foods to open candy packages to performing self-fellatio. If your vagina is ragged and damaged after using your Britian, discontinue use immediately and call 1-800-GOD-SAVE for your free depot repair.

Jews with a D.O.B. of 1600AD+ or later may be highly prone to cosmetic defects including overly thick hair, overly hairy bodies, and hook noses. These can impair boner production if reproduction with a Jew is necessary, but the profits from a rich family outweigh the problems with a poor sex life. Also, some Jews may be extremely prone to cancer which can cause spontaneous failure of the unit. Take your Jew to a "God Corp. Certified Service Center" for all diagnostic tests.

God Corp. is also offering free $10 rebate coupons on your next baby to all those affected by the product recall. God Corp. has said numerous times they are sorry for the inconveniece, and that maintaining all these interplanetary product lines has drained their funds and caused them to lose track of production problems. However, God Corp. shareholders will be pleased to know that the launch of their new "Planet X" product line will increase their stock exponentially.

Note: In a perfect world, and by world I mean the "U.S.A," I wouldn't have to defend myself here, BUT I AM NOT A RACIST! These are stereotypes, not racist statements, and until you dumb-ass Americans can get this straight than I encourage you all to kill yourselves. And yes, I'm an American too, so shut the fuck up.
 
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Um, not sure this belongs in the Writer's Block, but okay.
 
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Descent said:
Thursday, July 21st, 2005

Today, God Corp. annouced it would be recalling various product lines that have had various defective parts in them. If you purchased a Baptist with a D.O.B. of 1800AD or later, a Britain with a D.O.B. of 1200AD or later, or a Jew with a D.O.B. of 1600AD or later, you may be affected. CEO/President/Lead Technician/P.R. Consultant Jehova Allah God said the ramifications of the recalls were a long time in coming.

The first and most serious recall deals with a D.O.B. 1800AD+ Baptist, in which the logic co-processor is almost certainly guaranteed to be dead, which may result in racism, stupidity, low I.Q.'s, and Bible thumping. Vishnu Corp. is offering a free depot repair for the issue with their bad logic co-processors, but the installation will most likely fail if your Baptist is inbred due to incorrect circuitry. If your Baptist has any sort of intelligence whatsoever about something other than the Bible you are totally unaffected and can continue using your Baptist for whatever purposes may need be.

Anyone who purchased a Britain with a D.O.B. of 1200AD+ will most likely have defective teeth that need immediate replacement, and can affect anything from eating foods to open candy packages to performing self-fellatio. If your vagina is ragged and damaged after using your Britian, discontinue use immediately and call 1-800-GOD-SAVE for your free depot repair.

Jews with a D.O.B. of 1600AD+ or later may be highly prone to cosmetic defects including overly thick hair, overly hairy bodies, and hook noses. These can impair boner production if reproduction with a Jew is necessary, but the profits from a rich family outweigh the problems with a poor sex life. Also, some Jews may be extremely prone to cancer which can cause spontaneous failure of the unit. Take your Jew to a "God Corp. Certified Service Center" for all diagnostic tests.

God Corp. is also offering free $10 rebate coupons on your next baby to all those affected by the product recall. God Corp. has said numerous times they are sorry for the inconveniece, and that maintaining all these interplanetary product lines has drained their funds and caused them to lose track of production problems. However, God Corp. shareholders will be pleased to know that the launch of their new "Planet X" product line will increase their stock exponentially.

Note: In a perfect world, and by world I mean the "U.S.A," I wouldn't have to defend myself here, BUT I AM NOT A RACIST! These are stereotypes, not racist statements, and until you dumb-ass Americans can get this straight than I encourage you all to kill yourselves. And yes, I'm an American too, so shut the fuck up.
First off, Did you write this? - just curious

Also, Don't put all Americans into the same category. We are a nation of different types of people and opinions. That being said, your side note was a bit much. (off topic, sorry DG)

I'm not one to down any artists or their works, to each his own and all. However, hateful art of this nature is the lowest form.

Now, being the "dumbass American”, I am, I give this a big :thumbsdn: . Creative, yes, however, I don't agree with it's content, nor your cute little side note. Comedic as some may find it, I personally find it to be lacking. Once again very creative, just not my "cup of tea".

Just a personal opinion, take it as you will.

EDIT: In regards to the end of your "side note": If you wish not to recieve comments, then why post it to begin with?
 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
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Taylor_Blade said:
First off, Did you write this? - just curious


Creative, yes, however, I don't agree with it's content, nor your cute little side note. Comedic as some may find it, I personally find it to be lacking.

EDIT: In regards to the end of your "side note": If you wish not to recieve comments, then why post it to begin with?
all this but i think its very cool, just needs some extra work. :thumbsup:
 

Descent

Hella Constipated
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#5
Yeah, I did write this, because I always thought the concept of God being a corporate entity would be hilarious.
 
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Descent said:
Yeah, I did write this, because I always thought the concept of God being a corporate entity would be hilarious.
Creative props are in order then. :thumbsup:
 

King_Dong

Flame Bait
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Taylor_Blade said:
First off, Did you write this? - just curious

Also, Don't put all Americans into the same category. We are a nation of different types of people and opinions. That being said, your side note was a bit much. (off topic, sorry DG)

I'm not one to down any artists or their works, to each his own and all. However, hateful art of this nature is the lowest form.

Now, being the "dumbass American”, I am, I give this a big :thumbsdn: . Creative, yes, however, I don't agree with it's content, nor your cute little side note. Comedic as some may find it, I personally find it to be lacking. Once again very creative, just not my "cup of tea".

Just a personal opinion, take it as you will.

EDIT: In regards to the end of your "side note": If you wish not to recieve comments, then why post it to begin with?
Sometimes the spreading of disgust is not inappropriate. If a group of people discourage truth awareness, it is typically bad. If the movement is influential and spreads ingnorance to others, and if ignorance is bad, then it is the social responsibility of any good caring citizen to end the movement.

This humor seems to serve as stress relief for us who are burdened with a dedication to reason.

And I discovered a form of humor that is less honorable ['lower'] than that of hate: the humor which spreads misconception.
 
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#8
I particularly like this one post. Most of Descent's I don't, but this isn't bad. :thumbsup:
 
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#9
King_Dong said:
Sometimes the spreading of disgust is not inappropriate. If a group of people discourage truth awareness, it is typically bad. If the movement is influential and spreads ingnorance to others, and if ignorance is bad, then it is the social responsibility of any good caring citizen to end the movement.

This humor seems to serve as stress relief for us who are burdened with a dedication to reason.

And I discovered a form of humor that is less honorable ['lower'] than that of hate: the humor which spreads misconception.
You either completely misread me, or read way too much into my post. I can't decide. It doesn't really matter, cause you totally missed my point.

Also, I said art, not humor. Anyone can write hateful art.

Like I said, I give him props for creativeness, I just don't really like it. Now, it does have the potential for improvement, but it needs work.
 

Janglenut

Particinator
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You copied the idea from someone else, that isn't creative. I've seen it done before, as I'm sure you have and as said, people don't find humor in it.