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Guess who I'm laughing at! EP. II

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screwy

BIG BLACK DICKS
4,165
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#1
INT. LAIR OF AGONY AND DESPAIR AND HOPELESSNESS AND THE SUPER FRIENDS AND EVIL AND MORMON CHILD-BEARING

HAVOKCHYLDE is masturbating. His hands slowly moving up and down his horrifyingly large member, his eyes shift back and forth between a magazine on his desk and his computer screen. The magazine is closed, and the cover shows a young teenager with a large pimple on his left buttock, facing away from the camera. Above the brown haired young man are large pink letters that read "SCREW_BALL'S HEMMORHOID QUARTERLY". The computer screen, on the other hand, shows a pair of developing breasts, held in by a white bra.

UWE BOLL presents

HAVOK's eyes roll back, and blinding red light emerges from his organ, followed by the sound of hundreds of children screaming.

S.C.U.M PwNnerzzZzZ!1!!!1 Of The Internets

Episode 2.

Cuddles Duddles.


INT. WELFARE SHACK

CUDDLES stands in line, her eyes and nose red. The receptionst intones, in a monotonous voice;

RECEPTIONIST: Next in line, please.

The tall black man in front of her limps forward, and goes up to the desk.

After a few moments, the man raises his hands in the air and starts screaming at the receptionist. He tells her to go fuck herself, and storms out.

RECEPTIONIST: Next in line please.

CUDDLES slowly ambles towards the desk, head down.

RECEPTIONIST: Name and phone number?

CUT TO.

INT. MC DONALD'S

PAT is staring down at the counter, catatonic, when a customer enters the restaurant.

The customer is a severly obese woman in a grimy tube top. She is holding the door open, half-in half-out, yelling at someone outside.

DUSTINZGIRL: Dustin, I told ya to pick up some new shingles for the trailer! What? Yeah, yeah! You can shove Weight Watchers up your ass!

When she is done yelling in her deep southern accent, she waddles over to the counter.

DUSTINZGIRL: I'm a-lookin' for a girl called... Uh... Goddamnit!

She fishes around in her purse.

DUSTINZGIRL: Jehova almighty!

Her hand finally emerges after a few moments, a pink Post-It between her grubby fingers. She looks at it and frowns;

DUSTINZGIRL: I'm looking for a... Cuddles Duddles.

PAT stares at the counter.

DUSTINZGIRL: I said, I'm l-

PAT cuts her off. He lifts his head up, showing emotion for the first time. Showing a sad smile.

PAT: She's gone, got fired today.

DUSTINZGIRL: Shit! Well, if you see her, tell her she's the magical oracle-child, and only she can save us from eternal enslavement. Oh, and I need sixteen number fives. Oh! And a diet Pepsi.

PAT, flabberghasted, replies distantly;

PAT: I... I'll get right on it..

He walks back to the kitchen and mutters under his breath;

PAT: Well spank my ass and call me a bitch!

/end Episode 2.

Jon Lovitz as Cuddles
I Hate The FCC (Pat) as Himself
Larry The Cable Guy as Dustinzgirl

and Uwe Boll as the receptionist


Produced by
Uwe Boll .... executive producer
Uwe Boll .... associate producer
Uwe Boll .... executive producer
Uwe Boll .... line producer
Uwe Boll .... producer
Uwe Boll .... producer
Uwe Boll .... associate producer
Uwe Boll .... associate producer
Uwe Boll .... producer (as Cassius Vernon Weathersby)
Uwe Boll .... associate producer

Original Music by
Uwe Boll

Non-Original Music by
Uwe Boll (from "Revenga")

Cinematography by
Uwe Boll

Film Editing by
Uwe Boll

Casting by
Uwe Boll

Production Design by
Uwe Boll

Art Direction by
Uwe Boll

Set Decoration by
Uwe Boll (as Dan May)

Costume Design by
Uwe Boll

Makeup Department
Uwe Boll .... hair stylist
Uwe Boll .... makeup department head
Uwe Boll .... assistant hair stylist
Uwe Boll .... additional hair stylist
Uwe Boll .... additional makeup artist

Production Management
Uwe Boll .... production supervisor
Uwe Boll .... unit production manager

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Uwe Boll .... first assistant director
Uwe Boll .... additional second assistant director
Uwe Boll .... second assistant director (as Tony Nahar)
Uwe Boll .... second second assistant director (as Korey Pollard)

Art Department
Uwe Boll .... leadman
Uwe Boll .... assistant property master
Uwe Boll .... property maker
Uwe Boll .... art department coordinator
Uwe Boll .... assistant property master
Uwe Boll .... paint foreman

Sound Department
Uwe Boll .... ProTools playback operator
Uwe Boll .... production sound mixer
Uwe Boll .... sound playback operator
Uwe Boll .... boom operator (as Reggie Dunn)
Uwe Boll .... sound editor
Uwe Boll .... foley artist
Uwe Boll .... sound editor
Uwe Boll .... foley artist
Uwe Boll .... foley mixer
Uwe Boll .... utility sound technician (as Jesse 'Mr. Woody' Stubblefield)
Uwe Boll .... sound editor
Uwe Boll .... sound re-recording mixer

Special Effects by
Uwe Boll .... special effects coordinator
Uwe Boll .... special effects

Stunts
Uwe Boll .... stunt coordinator
Uwe Boll .... stunts
Uwe Boll .... stunts

Other crew
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... assistant craft service
Uwe Boll .... assistant
Uwe Boll .... music clearance
Uwe Boll .... grip
Uwe Boll .... video assist operator
Uwe Boll .... assistant production coordinator
Uwe Boll.... first assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... production assistant
Uwe Boll .... music supervisor
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Dave Scott
Uwe Boll .... assistant accountant
Uwe Boll .... key grip
Uwe Boll .... production coordinator
Uwe Boll .... set costumer
Uwe Boll .... still photographer
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... on-set costumer
Uwe Boll .... script supervisor
Uwe Boll .... casting associate
Uwe Boll .... best boy grip
Uwe Boll .... payroll accountant
Uwe Boll .... second assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... accountant
Uwe Boll .... first assistant camera: "b" camera
Uwe Boll .... rigging key grip
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... set production assistant
Uwe Boll .... additional choreographer (as Robert James Hoffman III)
Uwe Boll .... accounting assistant
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... stand-in
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll .... location manager (as Ernest 'Kojo' Lewis)
Uwe Boll .... camera operator
Uwe Boll .... aerial director of photography
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... executive soundtrack producer
Uwe Boll .... production coordinator (as Cheryl A. Miller)
Uwe Boll.... camera loader
Uwe Boll .... production assistant
Uwe Boll .... grip
Uwe Boll .... camera operator
Uwe Boll .... gaffer
Uwe Boll .... camera loader
Uwe Boll .... assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... first assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... camera operator
Uwe Boll .... music consultant
Uwe Boll .... supervising choreographer
Uwe Boll .... color timer (as Steve Sheridan)
Uwe Boll .... choreographer
Uwe Boll .... studio teacher
Uwe Boll .... publicist
Uwe Boll .... assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... best boy electric
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll .... dolly grip
Uwe Boll .... assistant location manager
Uwe Boll .... second editor
Uwe Boll .... medic
Uwe Boll .... production assistant
Uwe Boll .... costume supervisor

Copyright 2005 Lucafilm Ltd.​
 

screwy

BIG BLACK DICKS
4,165
1
102
#3
:rotflmao:

The joke's on you!

YOU READ IT!


HAHAHAHAHA! Ahhhh.... :thumbsup:
 
2,419
0
200
#4
INT.MEGA.QUOTE

START.----------------------------------------------------------------


screw_ball said:
INT. LAIR OF AGONY AND DESPAIR AND HOPELESSNESS AND THE SUPER FRIENDS AND EVIL AND MORMON CHILD-BEARING

HAVOKCHYLDE is masturbating. His hands slowly moving up and down his horrifyingly large member, his eyes shift back and forth between a magazine on his desk and his computer screen. The magazine is closed, and the cover shows a young teenager with a large pimple on his left buttock, facing away from the camera. Above the brown haired young man are large pink letters that read "SCREW_BALL'S HEMMORHOID QUARTERLY". The computer screen, on the other hand, shows a pair of developing breasts, held in by a white bra.
UWE BOLL presents

HAVOK's eyes roll back, and blinding red light emerges from his organ, followed by the sound of hundreds of children screaming.

S.C.U.M PwNnerzzZzZ!1!!!1 Of The Internets

Episode 2.

Cuddles Duddles.

INT. WELFARE SHACK

CUDDLES stands in line, her eyes and nose red. The receptionst intones, in a monotonous voice;

RECEPTIONIST: Next in line, please.

The tall black man in front of her limps forward, and goes up to the desk.

After a few moments, the man raises his hands in the air and starts screaming at the receptionist. He tells her to go fuck herself, and storms out.

RECEPTIONIST: Next in line please.

CUDDLES slowly ambles towards the desk, head down.

RECEPTIONIST: Name and phone number?

CUT TO.

INT. MC DONALD'S

PAT is staring down at the counter, catatonic, when a customer enters the restaurant.

The customer is a severly obese woman in a grimy tube top. She is holding the door open, half-in half-out, yelling at someone outside.

DUSTINZGIRL: Dustin, I told ya to pick up some new shingles for the trailer! What? Yeah, yeah! You can shove Weight Watchers up your ass!

When she is done yelling in her deep southern accent, she waddles over to the counter.

DUSTINZGIRL: I'm a-lookin' for a girl called... Uh... Goddamnit!

She fishes around in her purse.

DUSTINZGIRL: Jehova almighty!

Her hand finally emerges after a few moments, a pink Post-It between her grubby fingers. She looks at it and frowns;

DUSTINZGIRL: I'm looking for a... Cuddles Duddles.

PAT stares at the counter.

DUSTINZGIRL: I said, I'm l-

PAT cuts her off. He lifts his head up, showing emotion for the first time. Showing a sad smile.

PAT: She's gone, got fired today.

DUSTINZGIRL: Shit! Well, if you see her, tell her she's the magical oracle-child, and only she can save us from eternal enslavement. Oh, and I need sixteen number fives. Oh! And a diet Pepsi.

PAT, flabberghasted, replies distantly;

PAT: I... I'll get right on it..

He walks back to the kitchen and mutters under his breath;

PAT: Well spank my ass and call me a bitch!

/end Episode 2.

Jon Lovitz as Cuddles
I Hate The FCC (Pat) as Himself
Larry The Cable Guy as Dustinzgirl

and Uwe Boll as the receptionist


Produced by
Uwe Boll .... executive producer
Uwe Boll .... associate producer
Uwe Boll .... executive producer
Uwe Boll .... line producer
Uwe Boll .... producer
Uwe Boll .... producer
Uwe Boll .... associate producer
Uwe Boll .... associate producer
Uwe Boll .... producer (as Cassius Vernon Weathersby)
Uwe Boll .... associate producer

Original Music by
Uwe Boll

Non-Original Music by
Uwe Boll (from "Revenga")

Cinematography by
Uwe Boll

Film Editing by
Uwe Boll

Casting by
Uwe Boll

Production Design by
Uwe Boll

Art Direction by
Uwe Boll

Set Decoration by
Uwe Boll (as Dan May)

Costume Design by
Uwe Boll

Makeup Department
Uwe Boll .... hair stylist
Uwe Boll .... makeup department head
Uwe Boll .... assistant hair stylist
Uwe Boll .... additional hair stylist
Uwe Boll .... additional makeup artist

Production Management
Uwe Boll .... production supervisor
Uwe Boll .... unit production manager

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Uwe Boll .... first assistant director
Uwe Boll .... additional second assistant director
Uwe Boll .... second assistant director (as Tony Nahar)
Uwe Boll .... second second assistant director (as Korey Pollard)

Art Department
Uwe Boll .... leadman
Uwe Boll .... assistant property master
Uwe Boll .... property maker
Uwe Boll .... art department coordinator
Uwe Boll .... assistant property master
Uwe Boll .... paint foreman

Sound Department
Uwe Boll .... ProTools playback operator
Uwe Boll .... production sound mixer
Uwe Boll .... sound playback operator
Uwe Boll .... boom operator (as Reggie Dunn)
Uwe Boll .... sound editor
Uwe Boll .... foley artist
Uwe Boll .... sound editor
Uwe Boll .... foley artist
Uwe Boll .... foley mixer
Uwe Boll .... utility sound technician (as Jesse 'Mr. Woody' Stubblefield)
Uwe Boll .... sound editor
Uwe Boll .... sound re-recording mixer

Special Effects by
Uwe Boll .... special effects coordinator
Uwe Boll .... special effects

Stunts
Uwe Boll .... stunt coordinator
Uwe Boll .... stunts
Uwe Boll .... stunts

Other crew
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... assistant craft service
Uwe Boll .... assistant
Uwe Boll .... music clearance
Uwe Boll .... grip
Uwe Boll .... video assist operator
Uwe Boll .... assistant production coordinator
Uwe Boll.... first assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... production assistant
Uwe Boll .... music supervisor
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Dave Scott
Uwe Boll .... assistant accountant
Uwe Boll .... key grip
Uwe Boll .... production coordinator
Uwe Boll .... set costumer
Uwe Boll .... still photographer
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... on-set costumer
Uwe Boll .... script supervisor
Uwe Boll .... casting associate
Uwe Boll .... best boy grip
Uwe Boll .... payroll accountant
Uwe Boll .... second assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... accountant
Uwe Boll .... first assistant camera: "b" camera
Uwe Boll .... rigging key grip
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... set production assistant
Uwe Boll .... additional choreographer (as Robert James Hoffman III)
Uwe Boll .... accounting assistant
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... stand-in
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll .... location manager (as Ernest 'Kojo' Lewis)
Uwe Boll .... camera operator
Uwe Boll .... aerial director of photography
Uwe Boll .... costumer
Uwe Boll .... executive soundtrack producer
Uwe Boll .... production coordinator (as Cheryl A. Miller)
Uwe Boll.... camera loader
Uwe Boll .... production assistant
Uwe Boll .... grip
Uwe Boll .... camera operator
Uwe Boll .... gaffer
Uwe Boll .... camera loader
Uwe Boll .... assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... first assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... camera operator
Uwe Boll .... music consultant
Uwe Boll .... supervising choreographer
Uwe Boll .... color timer (as Steve Sheridan)
Uwe Boll .... choreographer
Uwe Boll .... studio teacher
Uwe Boll .... publicist
Uwe Boll .... assistant camera
Uwe Boll .... best boy electric
Uwe Boll .... electrician
Uwe Boll .... assistant: Uwe Boll
Uwe Boll .... dolly grip
Uwe Boll .... assistant location manager
Uwe Boll .... second editor
Uwe Boll .... medic
Uwe Boll .... production assistant
Uwe Boll .... costume supervisor



Copyright 2005 Lucafilm Ltd.​

F U C K I N G . A U T O P O S T E D
.ROTFLMAO.?.HAPPY.USER




 

dustinzgirl

Banned - What an Asshat!
26,094
178
0
#5
I love it! What happens next?

PS: for realism, I fucking hate diet pepsi. gross.
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
1
0
#7
:rotflmao: thas was great but once again im not mentioned :thumbsdn:
 
7,261
1,340
218
#8
DIZNUTS said:
:rotflmao: thas was great but once again im not mentioned :thumbsdn:
Of course not. This is B&T not Gross Misconduct. :rofl:

Sorry screwy, I didn't bother to read that shit.
 

tzedek

Original Member
2,515
3
38
#9
johnny kuntz said:
INT.MEGA.QUOTE

START.----------------------------------------------------------------





F U C K I N G . A U T O P O S T E D
.ROTFLMAO.?.HAPPY.USER





:gay:.
 

screwy

BIG BLACK DICKS
4,165
1
102
#11
TEE-EL-DEE-ARR!

You're such a dumbass, screw_ball. You suck. I want your cock. :thumbsdn:
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
1
0
#12
screw_ball said:
TEE-EL-DEE-ARR!

You're such a dumbass, screw_ball. You suck. I want your cock. :thumbsdn:
according to some new guy named Akaken...its huge...it rivals Havok's cock....but still no match to my might giant e-COCK!!!
 

=User_Name=

CuntWaffle or Dumbass?
122
0
0
#13
lol?



flameflameflameflameflameflameFLAMEflameflameflameflameflameflame
 

DIZNUTS

Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
3,158
1
0
#14
ont he flame-o-meter it is a 2.1 on the ghey scale....
 
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