I need help. I have been depressed for such a long time that i no longer know who or wut i am. This is really long story but i try to make it short.
When i was 4. . . my parents would argue constantly. But then i didnt know wut was goin on. So i just stayed away. Then i turned 5, and my mom pressed me so hard 2 achieve that i couldn't be myself. That i strived 4 attention.
That continued, until it got worse. At seven my mom was forcing me to read, and i thought "maybe after a while it will stop."
But it never did. At age 8 my father divorced my mother. Now i know that she was a controlling cow diarea.

Anyway. . . she had 2 keep puttin pressure on my dad and on her kids. and he thought us at 8 yrs could handle it. And we did, but it still landed heavy. Then my dad got screwed up out of pay and stuff. When his bosses thought they could frame him, they did and he ended up getting fired. So he went 2 live in a ghetto, and mom pushed him 2 get another job. So he did, and it was a CRAPPY job. However, mom still made him pay child support $700. And he had to. . . Then he moved when i was nine to a crappier place. bigger but plagued by mice. Also when i was nine, i started 2 have wut one would call "severe depression." So i dealed with it. And dealed with the pressure the kids at school would put on my brother and me. MAN I WAS EVEN FRIKKIN PICKED ON BY MY BABY-SITTERS!!! It sucked. . . I hated them. But mom still hired them. She didnt care. She liked their mom even though her kids sucked. My mom's such an idiot! Then my mom couldnt pay for the house anymore. So i had 2 move away from the friends i had known since i was 4. It sucked. so i moved to another spot. and dad was still in the ghetto. Sometimes mom would invite him over, but that wasn't often. And she started puttin so much pressure, and she became so controlling. That my bro became like her. Cept more powerful. And since dad wasnt there, nothing i could do about it. So i started making silent cries for help. But no help came. I was so depressed nobody cept some1 like 4 yrs older than me could understand. However i could understand like anybody. ^^ i took pride in that. But the pride soon vanished. It was then that i moved 2 a new church, and the suicidal thoughts set in. But a year later when i was 12 they vanished. When i was 11 and still seeing my dad on a regular basis. . . he bought a dog. And that dog i luv. Couldnt stand it if he died. And as time progressed the abuse at school stopped because i became strong. But the abuse at home increased. I have no life at home because my bro and mom control it. I cant do anything without them knowing. And i cant do anything 2 them. So now i sometimes think of suicide because nobody cept my dad fully understand.
SO PLZ HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!