Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
A guy is hanging out in his favorite bar when he spots a
fabulous babe walking in on the arm of some ugly dude. He asks
the bartender about her and is surprised to discover that she's
a prostitute. He watches her the rest of the night, amazed that
someone so attractive could be available to him. The next night
he goes back to the bar, and sure enough she shows up again,
only this time alone. The guy gets up his nerve and approaches

"Is it true you're a prostitute?"

"Why, sure, big boy. What can I do for you?"

"Well, I dunno. What do you charge?"

"I get $100 just for a hand job. We can negotiate from there..."

"$100!?! For a handjob? Are you nuts?"

"You see that Ferrari out there?" The guy looks out the front
door, and sure enough there's a shiny new Ferrari parked
outside. "I paid cash for that Ferrari with the money I made on
hand jobs. Trust me, it's worth it."

The guy mulls it over for a while, and decides what the hell. He
leaves with her, and gets the most unbelievable experience he's
ever had. This hand job was better than any complete sexual
experience in his miserable life. The next night he's back at
the bar, waiting eagerly for her to show up. When she does, he
immediately approaches her.

"Last night was incredible!"

"Of course it was. Just wait til you try one of my blow jobs..."

"How much is that?"


"$500!?! C'mon, that's ridiculous!"

"You see that apartment building across the street?" The guy
looks out front at a 12 story apartment building. "I paid cash
for that building with the money I made on blow jobs. Trust me,
it's worth it."

Based on the night before, the guy decides to go for it. He
leaves with her, and once again is not disappointed. He nearly
faints - twice. The next night he can hardly contain himself
until she shows up.

"I'm hooked, you're the best! Tell me, what'll it cost me for
some pussy?"

She motions for him to follow her outside. She points down the
street, here between the buildings he can see Manhattan. "You
see that island?"

"Aw, c'mon! You can't mean that!"

She nods her head. "You bet. If I had a pussy, I'd own


Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
One day a boy named Agaf was incredibly horny. He loved the
queen. Just one suck of those huge firm tits would make him
happy for life. He went to the village elder (wise man) to find
out how to cure his quarms.

"I need to suck the queens breasts," Agaf said. "How much are
you paying?" the elder asked. "Nothing is free!" "A million
pounds," Agaf lied. He was going to get the suck and then not
pay becase once he had the suck nothing else mattered. "OK."

So the elder sneaked into the castle and poured some itching
powder into the queens bra. The itch would last two whole days.
When the queen put on her bra a horrible itch ran around her
breasts. She was screaming all through the night. The pain was

In the morning the king had had enough of the screaming so the
king asked the elder for help, as you do! Everything was going
to plan so far!

"Elder," the king said. "My wife is in immense pain because she
has got a pain in her breasts." "I know what to do!" the elder
said. "Go to the hut of Agaf. He is the only one wth the magical
saliva to cure the itch. You will have to let him suck your wifs
breasts for ten minutes and tommorow it will have gone." The
king wasn't happy about this but he agreed.

So Agaf was called up and he sucked them for ten minutes flat,
and the itch stopped that night because it only lasted for two
days anyway.

So then the elder called in Agaf and said, "You got your wish.
Now pay me!" "No chance wanker!" Agaf said and walked out.

So the elder thought long and hard for a punishment, something
that would be bad for Agaf. He thought and thought, until he got
it... He would put itching powder in the kings underpants!


Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
One day this couple had finally decided to have sex. They went
into the bedroom, and he put her on the bed.

He then proceded to remove his shirt, flexing his biceps. She
started to moan, "Oooh baby what's that?" "These honey, these
are called TNT." he replied.

Next he started to bounce and flex his pectorials (chest
muscles). She started to really get horny now, "Ooooooooh baby
what are those?" "These honey, these are land mines." he boasted.

Slowly taking off his pants, he started to flex his leg muscles.
By this time she was all wet and rubbing on herself,
"Oooooooooooooooh uuuuuuh ooooooh baby what are those?" All big
headed and macho he said, "These my love slave, these are
granade launchers."

Then taking off his underwear she screamed, "Aaaaaah!" and ran
right out of the room. He quickly threw on some clothes and
chased her down, "Hey sweety why did you run out of the room so
fast?" She replied, panting, "With all those explosives, I
thought you were going to explode with such a short fuse."


Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
sure do

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor
takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes
out the window. He immediately tells her to undress. After she
has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.

As he does this he says to the woman, "Do you know what I'm

"Yes," she says, "you're checking for any abrasions or
dermatological abnormalities."

"That is correct," says the doctor. He then begins to fondle her

"Do you know what I'm doing now?" he asks.

"Yes," says the woman, "you're checking for any lumps or breast

"That's right," replies the doctor. He then begins to have
sexual intercourse with the woman. He says to her, "Do you know
what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she says. "You're getting herpes, which is why I came
here in the first place."


Ñúñ'§ þêG £ègGéÐ /\/\å±ëý
one more

Little Mary and Little Johnny were 8 years old. They fell madly
in love and wanted to get married so they went to Mary's dad and
told him they were to get married.

Mary's father thought this was very cute and questioned them,
"But where will you live?" Little Johnny had thought of
everything so he replied, "Mary's room is bigger than mine so we
would live there". "Very good" replied Mary's father.

"And where would you get money to survive?" asked Mary's dad. "I
get $10 a week in allowance," said Johnny, "and Mary gets $5, so
we would have enough to survive."

Mary's father was thinking how cute that they have all this
planned but was sure they would not have an answer for his next
question. So he asked, "But what if Mary and you have little
babies, what then?" Little Johnny replied, "I wouldn't worry
about that one. I will just keep doing her up the ass like I
have been!"