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how can they treat me like this????

what do you think I should do?


  • Total voters
    13
  • Poll closed .
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#1
:cry: my parents are such idiots!! i am nearly 19 years old, and about to graduate from the community college. i tried to move out about 3 months ago, at which time they cried and boo hooed about how they would miss me and how we could just spend more time together and everything would be great if i stayed. so i felt sorry for them and i did. but now that i'm wanting to spend time with my friends, they're flipping out! they put this big guilt trip on me all the time about how i don't spend any time with them, and then when i do, they fuss at me about how many times i wasn't there. then i don't feel like spending time with them at all, and then i feel guilty for feeling that way. it sucks ass! and to make matters worse, i came home the other day to find a contract on my door that said they wouldn't pay for one of my classes at school unless i committed to spending a certain amount of time at the house and was in by 11:00 at night on weekdays. 11 fucking o'clock!! I'm 19, people!! What the hell are they thinking??? :rant: I couldn't pay for all of the classes that I had to take, so I was obligated to sign their stupid contract just to graduate on time. And the fact that I just had to pay for all of my other classes means I am completly broke right now. I can't even pay for my own fucking tampons!! How the hell can they treat me like this??? :scream:
 

ron

Buster of Asses
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#2
So...Why don't you just stand up to them like an adult? You're 19 and begging to be treated like an adult; act like one.
 
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#3
how do you think i should do that? i mean, i love my parents more than anything, and just because they're being like this doesn't mean that i don't want to have a relationship with them. i'm scared that if i do stand up to them that they'll freak out and, well... i don't know... just freak out...
 

ron

Buster of Asses
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#4
josiegrossie said:
how do you think i should do that? i mean, i love my parents more than anything, and just because they're being like this doesn't mean that i don't want to have a relationship with them. i'm scared that if i do stand up to them that they'll freak out and, well... i don't know... just freak out...
I love my parents, too, but when I was 17 I had had enough and moved out. Many people do it. You are not unique, nor are they in using guilt. Guilt is a powerul weapon. I hate guilt, so I choose not to feel it.

If they freak out...So? I mean, are they violent people? Do you owe them money? What are you afraid of? If you think you're ready, then just do it. Get out. If you're afraid of their reaction, then they have already won.

You'll never know until you try, and then, of course, it's too late.
 
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#5
i guess you're right...

:HeartBrea i mean, i don't owe them anything like money or whatever. it's just that my brother let them down by acting like a jackass and not respecting anything and he left when he was about my age. i guess i'm just killing myself to try and be as perfect for them as possible as to not cause them any more grief. i know it's not right to put that kind of pressure on myself, and cognatively i can step back and say that, but emotionally, i guess i feel kinda obligated to be like that...
 

ron

Buster of Asses
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#6
Guilt, again, and rationalization of your (in)action. They have won.
 
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#7
i know, i know... i'm all fucked up. so you really think the best thing for you was to move out at 17? how did you recover your relationship with your parents?
 

ron

Buster of Asses
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#8
josiegrossie said:
i know, i know... i'm all fucked up. so you really think the best thing for you was to move out at 17? how did you recover your relationship with your parents?
Yes, I think it was best. I might have killed my stepdad if not and then I would have missed out on what a great person he really is.

I went on to college, made money playing in a band, learned about life by living it on my own, got a motorcycle, spent many weekends with my dad (to discover what a piece of shit he is), spent some weekends with my parents (to discover that we had all changed a little), learned about what it takes to support oneself and what happens when one doesn't try hard enough (go hungry), got married, had a kid, joined the Army and fought in little dirty conflicts all over the world, discovered that my wife was a fucking psychopath, got a divorce, moved on.

In the meantime, I discovered that I had grown up and that my family is great when they're not hovering about me all the time. They discovered that I'm not really such a bad guy, just different, and that I had grown up. All is well.
 
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#9
that's awesome. i'm glad things went so well for you. i'm sure that before long i'll be telling people my same story and helping them get through it, too. but for now, thanks for the advice/listening in general... :hshake:
 
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#11
actually, dear, i'm quite the party animal. i just choose not to let it affect school or my personal relationships. don't assume that just because i care about something other than booz or weed that i don't know how to have fun...
 
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#13
actually, dear, i love to party. don't assume because i value my relationships and that i care about things other than booz and weed that i don't like to party. :rolleyes:
 
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#14
i do my share of getting drunk and such. and i don't have to prove myself to you or anyone else. i'll liten to advice but i won't listen to insults.
 
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#15
i gave u advice, tell your parents your the boss take the car keys, leave and then move out, and tell them u dont ever wanna seem them again, leave for a few months call them up ask them if they learned thier lesson, after that you will be the boss of the house
 

ron

Buster of Asses
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#17
josiegrossie said:
that's awesome. i'm glad things went so well for you. i'm sure that before long i'll be telling people my same story and helping them get through it, too. but for now, thanks for the advice/listening in general... :hshake:
The key is that you don't have to completely sever the tie. However, you have to be strong and firm; it's tough love. Good luck.
 

Deez Nutz

I are baboon!
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#18
Tell em you want to live on your own and spend time with your friends and shit and move out. I'll be so happy when I get to move out...
 
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#19
so i should just tell them that i still want a relationship with them, but they're going to have to deal with the fact that i'm growing up and that's all there is to it... it's a lot easier to figure out than to actually say it to them, but i guess it's about that time for me to do that. thanks, guys... :angel: