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Offbeat Humor: Astrologist sues NASA over crash

Woodreaux

Original Dicksman
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This is some funny shit...
MOSCOW, Russia (Reuters) -- A Russian astrologist who says NASA has altered her horoscope by crashing a spacecraft into a comet is suing the U.S. space agency for damages of $300 million, local media has reported.

NASA deliberately crashed its probe, named Deep Impact, into the Tempel 1 comet to unleash a spray of material formed billions of years ago which scientists hope will shed new light on the composition of the solar system.

"It is obvious that elements of the comet's orbit, and correspondingly the ephemeris, will change after the explosion, which interferes with my astrology work and distorts my horoscope," Izvestia daily quoted astrologist Marina Bai as saying in legal documents submitted before Monday's collision.

A spokeswoman for a Moscow district court said initial preparations for the case were underway but could not say when the hearing would begin. NASA representatives in Moscow were unavailable for comment.
At first I thought this came out of the Onion, but it's Reuters! After considering her complaint, something bothers me. I'm not an Astrologist (thus I may be wrong about this), but I've always assumed that only the most luminous objects with regular orbits (that are visible with the naked eye at least once every couple of years) could affect a horoscope...ie: planets, nearby giant stars and bright galaxies that held positions in major constellations. I didn't think comets were variables in the zodiac.
Any Astrology experts in the house want to comment?
 

Darklight

Oppressing your posts...
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most I know of comets they are on a regular orbit... just a hell of a wider one..
 

JLXC

WTF's Official Conspiracy Fanatic
Premium
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I want to sue the asstrolligist for making my head hurt with the stupidity of her actions. Heck, with the current state of the legal system, I'd have grounds to file.
 

Hater808

The hate still Shapes me
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This is wear natural selection is being overcome by medical science. "The kid who eats too many marbles does not grow up to have kids of his own" - carlin. Her and her offspring(if any) should be shoot(husband if any because he's a tard) and then the world would be a smarter place.